Hot Slut of the Week

(Note: When I googled "Kim Zolciak" this picture came up and I almost fucking died. This is the best I've seen her look!)

Birthday: 1938 1978
Age: 30 (cough, gulp, heave)
Birth Name: Bitch Please Zolciak

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 18, 2008
Claim to Fame: Kim is "famous" for sucking Big Papa's cock for money and then getting on a reality show to promote this! My idol.

Where is she now? Kim is no longer with Big Papa, so I have no idea how she's getting paid. Kim says she's posing in Playboy soon, but she probably had to pay them to get in the magazine. Maybe her wig cleans offices on the down low at night?

Why is she HS of the Week? Because Kim is the voice of this generation (sorry Kanye).

Birthday: I'm guessing he's a Scorpio.
Age: ?
Birth Name: Champ? I've known 3 Golden Retrievers named Champ!

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 16, 2008
Claim to Fame: Toby is best known for his amazing scooting skills in the Stanley Steemer commercial.

Where is he now? Hopefully he's at the vet getting his ass looked at for worms.

Why is he HS of the Week? I feel like Toby is part of my fucking family. I watch TV all day and his commercial comes on at least half a dozen times. Every time the boy says "Check out Toby's new trick," I stop what I'm doing, watch, laugh and think to myself, "That Toby!" Each time. Commercial below:

Birthday: 1948
Age: 59 or 60
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 8, 2008
Claim to Fame: The mayor of Silverton, Oregon and America's first ever openly transsexual mayor. Stu used to be mayor a few years ago, but this time around he's doing it in heels, breast implants and lipstick.

Where is he now? Looking hot and sexy in his office while doing mayor-y things.

Why is he HS of the Week? Because I love trannies, especially ones with brains. And smart trannies will rule the world one day. Below is a clip from CNN of Stu talking about how the town is dealing with his tranniness. That dude having coffee with him is kind of hot.

Birthday: August 11, 1954
Age: 54
Birth Name: David Ian Jackson

Original Date of HS of the Day: November 1, 2008
Claim to Fame: Joe is a singer, songwriter and skin bleach lover who had a few hit songs in the late 70s through mid-80s.

Where is he now? Probably in Jacko's dermatologist's waiting room. Joe currently lives in Berlin and writes music. He's also an activist! He campaigned against the smoking bans in NYC and the UK. When NYC banned smoking in 2003, he moved to Germany. Bitch loves his fags.

Why is he HS of the Week? Mainly because if he never existed, this magical moment would have never been captured:

(Thanks to Dan for the video)

Birthday: ?????
Age: I can't even guess.
Birth Name: see above

Original Date of HS of the Day: October 25, 2008
Claim to Fame: Julie is a cabaret performer, former Geraldo guest, Miss Fire Island 1997 and a YouTube star. Lately, Julie has also become the star of many of my own nightmares.

Where is she now? She's right behind you.

Why is he HS of the Week? Because I'm obsessed, intrigued and scared shitless! I don't know why I'm so scared, a lot of the chicks in Hollywood look like Julie Masking.

If you're brave enough, click here to see some NSFW pictures of Julie's masked titties!

Birthday: Every day!
Age: Faaaaaabulous!
Birth Name: Oh Girl!!!

Original Date of HS of the Day: October 15, 2008
Claim to Fame: Um....I'm really not sure. I guess he was in some group called "Pieces of a Dream." After he left the group, he went on Star Search. And now he's the reigning queen of HanCOCK Park, CA!

Where is he now? Probably prancing around his house in some gold coochie cutters and a sequined crop top. Seriously, Norwood has an album out or something. Visit his MySpace for his full bio and some sexy pictures.

Why is he HS of the Week? His hairline ordered me to make him HS of the Week. Also, Norwood's fairytale palace (below) in Hancock Park is more famous than he is. It's been dubbed House of Davids aka House of Peen.

P.S. - You know what happened to his chin in the picture above. Tea bagging gone wrong!

Birthday: October 10, 1903
Age: 105!!! (Larry King is still older)
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: October 10, 2008
Claim to Fame: She's the 105-year-old virgin and she's gorgeous! Clara says the secret to her long life is attributed to the fact that she's never given up the granny panty.

Where is she now? Jacking it in the nursing home bathroom. No! Clara is basking in the glory of being 105 and pure "down there." Clara celebrated her birthday with a glass of wine on Friday at the Perran Bay nursing home in Cornwall.

Why is she HS of the Week? I praise so many shameless whores on this site, that I felt it was time put a virgin on a pedestal. Clara proves that you can still be a hot slut without being...well...a slut.

Birthday: 1971
Age: 36 or 37 (HA!)
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: October 3, 2008
Claim to Fame: The first lady of Cameroon and known for her timeless beauty. According to Wiki, she known for her hairstyles including her signature banane. I think "banane" really means "weave color no matchey."

Where is she now? Ummm....getting her hair done Duh

Why is it HS of the Week? EYEBROWS!!!! Yes, that's reason enough.

This post is dedicated to our lovely Rupert, who would have won this honor, but he was needed in heaven.

Birthday: 1986
Age: 22
Birth Name: Darrell Walls

Original Date of HS of the Day: September 25, 2008
Claim to Fame: The first tranny to compete on "America's Next Top Model" after being personally asked by Ty Ty Banks. Of course, Ty Ty is taking all the credit!

Where is she now? Spoiler alert! Isis was sent back to the trans factory by Ty Ty last week. Cruel!

Why is it HS of the Week? Because she sort of reminds me of my favorite basement baby Solange. Also, it wasn't Isis' time to go on ANTM. She was never going to win this shit, but I wanted her to stick around to get revenge on that dumb bitch Hannah!

Birthday: ?
Age: Old
Birth Name: Levitz Model #AF7879324

Original Date of HS of the Day: September 15, 2008
Claim to Fame: This weepy abandonded couch was about to end it all on the streets of North Hollywood, CA when it saw a car careening out of control, so it stuck out its cushion and saved it! A hero in every sense of the word.

Where is it now? Working on a reality show, tell-all and furniture line. It was also seen "canoodling" with one of the Olsen trolls.

Why is it HS of the Week? Because the skanks have spoken!