Justin Timberlake

YOGI BEAR: The Movie is happening. Even worse, they have cast Justin Timberlake as everyone's favorite bottom bitch Boo Boo. Douchier than the average bear.

The Hollywood Reporter (via Coming Soon) says that the Yogi movie will be part CGI, part live-action and full stupid. In addition to Justin voicing Boo Boo, Dan Akroyd will be the voice of Yogi and Anna Faris will play a documentary filmmaker. They will start shooting this wreck in New Zealand next month.

You know, I've always believed that Boo Boo regularly showed Yogi his "dick in a picanic basket," so I can kind of see where the producers were going, but it still isn't right. You know what else isn't right? The fact that I didn't know the real Yellowstone Park wasn't called Jellystone Park until I was in my late teens.

Justin Timberlake should stop accepting rides in Chris Brown's Lamborghini, and Alien Princess RiRi should keep Betty Ross at her side at all times, because She-Hulk Biel and Ike Turner II won't be happy when they see Star Magazine's cover.

According to Star, Justin started scooting his ass lips on RiRi's infintiyhead of wonder at an after-party for the VMAs a couple of weeks ago. RiRi must not have minded that Justin sounds like Minnie Mouse screaming when he orgasms, because they have been texting and talking ever since. But before RiRi takes Justin to her home planet, she wants to make sure that his gay relationship with Jessica Biel is over. A source said, “She asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?’ And he hinted that things were cooling off between them.”

The source went on to say that Jessica found out that Justin and RiRi bumped taints and is "a wreck" because of it.

You know, it might be the apple I just ate (healthy food fucks me up) talking, but I actually think RiRi and Justin make a hot couple. They kind of make sense to me.

And Jessica Biel really deserves better. She deserves a man who won't scream like a toddler when she accidentally breaks his boner during a handjob. Or won't cry a million tears when she beats his no-no with her 9-incher. Seriously, Jessica, get yourself a real bitch who can take it! When Khloe Kardashian's fake marriage blows up, Jessica should definitely give her a ring.

Yesterday in Los Angeles, Justin Timberlake and a pap, we'll call Adam Sandler, fell madly in love with each other outside of a hotel. Okay, they apparently got into some kind of tiff, but you can't deny the chemistry between these two. Their peen holes are totally serenading each other while their nutsacks snap. It's just like the scene in West Side Story where Tony and Maria meet at the dance.

Justin kept his sunglasses on, because he knew that if his bare eyeballs made contact with Adam Sandler's bare eyeballs, he'd grab his hand, skip off into the sunset and they'd spend the rest of their days giving each other saliva baths.

You know, I kind of feel bad for the hot piece with the stache. Dude obviously wants to party too, but they don't even know he exists. Sorry, but even a sexy dude with a pussy strip on his upper lip can't get between two tampons in love.

Martin Scorcese is about to begin work on a splashy big-budget biopic of Frank Sinatra's life and every ho on this planet is willing to lick some nut in order to play Ol' Blue Eyes himself. Seriously, don't act like you haven't already e-mailed Martin Scorcese a YouTube clip of you wearing some broke ass fedora while singing "Strangers in the Night."

Everybody thinks Martin is going to cast Leonardo DiCaprio as Sinatra, because he can't take a doody without Leo in the room. But a source told Page Six that it doesn't seem likely, because Leo looks nothing like Sinatra. According to the source, Marty has narrowed it down to a few names including Johnny Depp and James Franco. Other hos in consideration are Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Connick Jr. , Jon Hamm Michael Buble, Marky Mark and Justin Timberdouche. YES, Justin Timberdouche! Can I get an extra-large order of WTF?!

I mean, Justin is a big dick, so maybe he can play Sinatra's famously large peen, but that's it! If Martin casts Justin as Sinatra, it's time to shut down the movie-making business forever. The butchery has to end sometime! We can entertain ourselves with shadow puppets around the campfire.

And if Martin is really considering that dick bag Justin, he should give this versatile actor a shot first. STAINS will work for cupcakes!

Justin Timberlake should really just become a full-time ho on SNL, because that's the only time I can stand his annoying ass. That is his calling right there. Last night, JT hosted and presented the sequel to Dick In A Box called Mother Lover. This song can also be called Shia's Anthem.

And this time, Justin and Andy Samberg brought Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson with them. That's what did it for me. Patricia caressing herself with a daisy? I can't.

Happy Muthah's Day. Let's NOT celebrate by fucking each other's mother's. Maybe next year.

Click here if you can't see that shit above.

If you're going to Vadge's "Dry & Sour" show in Los Angeles tomorrow night, make sure you bring some kind of video recording device with you. If they're checking for that shit at the door, smuggle it in your asshole. I know you have room.

You see, Ryan Gaycrest called into KIIS-FM and said he has it on good authority that Brit Brit and Justin Timberlake will reunite on stage at Vadge's show Thursday night. It's a piping hot bowl of Cheeto, roid, douche and ego stew!

The three of them are supposed to do some kind of performance. I'm picturing a lot of crotch bumping and chest thumping. It's going to look like two pit bulls stuck together (Vadge & Justin) while a clueless little possum just stands and there shrugs. And please tell me they are going to lip-synch. Those three singing live together will create the biggest ear massacre in history.

What in the "mother of the bride" hell is sleeping on Beyonce's head? Wake it up with a stick. Be careful though, because it might bite your ass. It looks a little hostile.

Beyonce is playing Etta James in a new movie and I guess she decided to keep the act going by wearing her Etta wig during a performance at Fashion Rocks last night. The wig looks more like a cross between Blanche Deveraux and Nancy Reagan. And it looks like wet cornstarch is the only thing keeping that wig on.

You know Solange was cackling backstage with her pocket mouse friend. Solange shouldn't have laughed though. Beyonce already got her ass earlier in the night. More on that later.

During Fashion Rocks, Beyonce joined Mimi, Mary J. Blige, Miley Cyrus and a bunch of other hos to warble through some song called "Just Stand Up." The performance aired during last night's "Stand Up to Cancer" benefit. Basically, except for Mary J. Blige, they all sounded like they had horny hamsters in their throats. When Mary opened her mouth, they all should have politely excused themselves and allowed her to sing the rest. I think Beyonce's wig was trying to make a run for it.

Miley Cyrus should not be allowed to sing....ever again. Bitch sounded like The Chipettes gone reggae. Not a pretty sound.

Here's more pics of Beyonce at Fashion Rocks last night. She also performed with a big fat douche named Justin Timberlake. He should really just go sit in the corner and fuck a bowl of Wheaties.

Say those six words when you get to the gates of hell and you'll immediately be ushered to the VIP section.

I think it's pretty effin' disgusting that the producers are even considering allowing this douche bag host the Oscars. How long are the Oscars? Like 15 hours? Imagine sitting through 15 hours of Justin Timberlake. There isn't enough booze and drugs on the planet to get you through that.

A source told The National Enquirer (via CM) that the producers were impressed with Justin after watching him host the ESPY Awards. They thought he was "naturally funny." And methinks the producers are "naturally high."

They also think Justin could bring in a younger audience. The source went on to say, "Justin is more than a singer, he's a song-and-dance man - and turned in a performance (at the ESPY Awards) any comedian would envy. Our first question was, 'Can we get him?' Justin does it all, and knows how to work a star-studded audience." Song-and-dance man? Since when is this douche Gene Kelly?

This may be the perfect time to end the Oscars awards show. It's been a good run, but it's time to call it a day the minute you start to consider Justin Timberfake as a host. Instead, they can hand out the awards in the parking lot of Bob's Big Boy after Sunday buffet brunch.

Justin Timberfake wants everyone to know that he's the tool responsible for bringing the nauseating trucker cap trend to the masses. He told Fashion Rocks (via Marc Malkin), “It’s funny. I keep hearing Ashton Kutcher say how he was responsible for trucker caps. I’ve heard him make that statement before. Trace and I were wearing them when we were seventeen."

Hos have been wearing fugly ass trucker caps since the beginning of time. Jesus even wore one. Seriously, the fact that Justin wants credit for that ugly shit confirms his status as one of the biggest twats in history.

I'd rather wear a (DO NOT CLICK) diseased penis (DON'T) on my head than a nasty trucker cap.

Brit Brit and Justin Timberlake will record a duet for her next album. OK! Magazine sweeeaaars this is true. They pinky swear it!

Brit Brit's album is coming out sometime next year. A source said, "Britney is spending her summer in the recording studio, working on a brand new album. She's working with a team of top-notch producers and songwriters and we're very excited about what she's accomplished so far."

I'll believe it when I hear Brit Brit's Cheeto warble and Justin's gay baby whining together in one song. Even then, I won't believe it! Knowing Brit Brit, she'll just sing along to one of Justin's tracks. Justin TimberLAME is too busy licking his own boypuss to record a song with Brit.

In Justin's delusional mind, he should only duet with the likes of Kathleen Battle and shit.