H.A.M.

Brit Brit Spears spent her April Fool's at another Lakers game last night. A little spot of her real hair showed through her broke wig and cap.

She looked kind of cute the other night, but she brought back the busted last night. Lakers dress? Tore up skin? Nasty nails?

You can take the trash out of the girl, but...well you can't take the trash out of this girl!

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Last night's Rock and Rock Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony in NYC looked like either a hot mess convention or an AA reunion. I mean, WTF?! What happened to Patti Smith?! She looks like the bad end of gutter-found Jack Daniels bottle. We all know Keith Richards is haggard. I think his skin is made out of wax.

Ronnie Spector made Aretha Franklin look like a damn beauty queen! Ronnie is like a Jackee Harry on crack!!

Slash doesn't look bad in the face, but look at that gut! Wear a girdle! I'd still Sammy Hagar from the back.

I'm not even joking when I say that Serena Williams is more of a man than me. She has more hair on her face, chest and most likely has a bigger dick. Oh and she totally is working some bull's nuts. I mean, damn! What did we, the viewing audience, do so wrong to have her come in looking like that? Mud drawn eyebrows to match her mud drawn stache? Ok I better stop, because dude can totally whip my ass. This is her at the Giant Magazine party for JHud last night.

I've seen several photos of Phoebe Price in the past and I could never figure out who she was. I mean I never really cared. Lately, she's been haunting my dreams. Her cheek implants, neon hair and pulled face make her hard to resist. Her IMDB page brings up nothing special. I mean she's playing a "stripper" in a movie called "Lost in "Transit: The Junkyard Willie Movie." She's not exactly a-list or even c-list. She's always at all kinds of parties. I don't understand.

She looks like a Rainbrow Bright who got old, moved to the projects, hooked to make ends meet, got a heroin problem, cleaned up and is now performing nightly at a truck stop casino outside of Laughlin, Nevada.

I do love her though.

Heatherette isn't knowing for putting up serious fashion shows. Last night's was no exception. Their theme was "Wizard of Oz." Kimora Lee Simmons was their special guest and I'm not sure which character she played? Was there a tranny giant in that movie? Speaking of trannies, Amanda Lepore was Glinda, Lydia Hearst was Dorothy and Aubrey O'Day from Danity Kane was some kind of jungle creature or something.

Clean up at Bryan Park! We've got a huge mess!

Aubrey O'Day is a member of the low-rent Pussycat Dolls aka Diddy's Hos aka Danity Kane. She celebrated her birthday at a club in NYC last night with fellow cast members D. Woods and Dawn (below). What the hell happened to her? She's usually cute.

Is this a costume party and she's dressed as Courtney Love?

H.A.M. alert! Joss Stone was more like Strawberry Shortmess at last night's Marc Jacobs show in NYC. You know, bitch don't give a fuck so I'll let it slide this time. She still looks like she was caught in Paris Hilton's panties though.

AllHipHop.com has confirmed that rappers, Remy Ma, Jacki-O and Shawnna have teamed up to form a rap-girl-supergroup. The group is currently recording tracks for a Spring release.

A source said, "They have been recording tracks over the past month, Jacki-O has been in New York, Shawnna and Remy have been in Miami. The album is going to define all three of them and the material is going to speak for itself."

One of the rumored names of the group is HBIC (Head B*tches in Charge), but sources claim there isn't a name yet.

TLC what? JJ Fad who? Seriously, this is going to be the hottest female group in the history of music. You know it's only going to end in tears, torn weaves and razor shanks to the face!

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Yup, that's Anna Nicole Smith with Howard K. Stern at a fight in Hollywood, FL yesterday. Porn star and the beast. What is wrong with her ass?! Someone seriously needs to commit that ho. I don't even know what to say. Pink hair mascara? Oh dear.

Mariah Carey hosted a Niche Media party last night in Aspen, Colorado. I'm not sure what she's wearing and I'm not sure how to comment on it. It looks like she cut up a puffy jacket and made a shrug out of it. She also stole that Rolling Stones bedazzled top from a 12-year-old. Oh Mariah.......you are the true queen H.A.M.