Jonathan Rhys Meyers

UPDATE: A source tells The Hollywood Reporter that JRM did not try to off himself. Their source says that JRM had a relapse and sort of, kind of went a little too far with the pills.

The Sun reports that STAINS' bulging eyeball twin Jonathan Rhys Meyers was put in the hospital on Tuesday night after she allegedly tried to take his own life by swallowing a bunch of pills at his home in London. JRM's rep hasn't confirmed the sadness, but one of his neighbors tells The Sun that paramedics showed up to his home after someone called 999 (that's 911 in British). They found JRM lying on his bathroom floor and at first he told them to go away, but they eventually got him into an ambulance and took him to the hospital.

JRM didn't have any comment to The Sun when he was released from the hospital a few hours after he checked in. JRM has had battles with the booze bottle for some time and he completed his fifth trip to rehab earlier this month. I would say that JRM is still "battling his demons" but that phrase belongs in the coffin marked OVERUSED with "over the moon." It makes everything worse. But you know what doesn't make everything worse? This temporary antidote to sadness:

Whoops. Did I mix my antidotes to sadness with my antidotes to comfortableness again? Because that chihuahua is so making sessy eyes at us while getting a raspberry. It's like something that would play on Animal Planet After Dark.

Yes, don't worry, I'm donating my brain to science so that they can figure out what makes a NOT RIGHT gutter tramp like myself turn wholesome cuteness into nastiness.

via Say OMG

This is not new information, but today just felt like the right day to remind everyone that Tom Ford is meticulously sharp from top to bottom and back. Tom makes Patrick Bateman look like a slob! I bet that every morning before Tom leaves his penthouse apartment, he steams the wrinkles out of his anus (just in case) and then stands in front of a mirror blowing cold air at his head with a blow dryer to make sure every hair moves (or doesn't move) in the wind like it should.

You never know when a pap is going to take your picture. And you never know when a blogger wearing stained sweat shorts is going to post said picture. Tom and his perfectly manicured widow's peak of pure sex are always prepared.

Damn. I seriously just want to buy a Vespa from this sexy motherfucker. Yeah, I know Tom is not a Vespa salesman, but I bet he could make one magically appear on the street if you asked him for one. The same goes for imported cigars and 200 year old single malt whiskey.

Anyways, if a man who smells like a hot pair of clippers and overpriced cologne is not for you, then I've also got some pictures of STAINS' long lost brother with his girlfriend in London last night.

Jonathan Rhys Meyer is attempting to dry out in rehab again after he was banned from United Airlines earlier this month for being a nasty mess of an angry drunk. And nobody likes a nasty mess of an angry drunk! Well, unless they're naked, and then it's kind of okay. Sometimes.

BUT Some say JRM even dropped the atomic "N" bomb on an employee who refused to let him board the flight. JRM hasn't admitted this, but that's not exactly something you shout from your Facebook status unless you want everybody but Bombshell McGee to hate you.

JRM's spokeswhore confirms to People that he is seeking treatment at a London rehab facility. The spokeswhore wouldn't give up anymore details. This is JRM's fourth attempt at trying to stop his thirst for the sweet nectar.

History says that JRM usually turns into the Cloverfield monster of drunks when he's at an airport. Maybe the sight of a Hudson News or the scent of burnt Dunkin' Donuts coffee makes him want to eat a bottle of vodka. I don't know, but he should really stay away from airports for a while. Either that or he should do what my aunt does to her dog when flying. Swallow a dog tranquilizer and take a long nap while cramped into a dog carrier under someone's seat.

You know how Jonathan Rhys Meyers was banned from United Airlines after he got drunk and flipped out when officials refused to let him on a flight from NYC to L.A.? Well, Radar is saying that the N word made an unwanted cameo appearance during JRM's freakout sponsored by Grey Goose. And by that I don't mean that JRM tried to order another "naranja" and vodka. No, apparently JRM used THAT N word. From Radar:

When airline workers noticed the actor drinking and getting out of control they prevented him from boarding the flight to Los Angeles, a source at the airport told us.

As the incident unfolded, Meyers, growing furious, flung the 'N' word, the source told RadarOnline.com exclusively. He had been drinking vodka and it was before 7 am. It is unclear if the actor was directing the word toward an individual or just spewing it without a specific target.

The Tudors star used the racial slur as he was being informed by the airline that they were not going to allow him to board the plane.

Why?!!!! Out of all the words JRM could've used, why did his mouth shit that one out? If he threw the "cunt" word, everybody on the plane would've clapped and gave him a standing ovation! If the "Limbaugh" word jumped off his tongue, people would've shifted in their seats a bit, but they would've quickly forgiven him. But the N word? Captain, drop the ear plugs and close the doors.

If this is true STAINS is no longer going to share his cupcakes with JRM. Actually, I think STAINS just threw JRM a side-eye. It's that serious. Even Satan would jump in a pool of holy water after getting a side-eye from STAINS.

In case you don't know already, the equation is: Jonathan Rhys Meyers + airplanes + booze = a fucking disaster! That's because Radar is saying that STAINS' favorite staring contest competitor has been banned from United Airlines and is no longer allowed to fly them ever again. Buzz killers.

Officials at United Airlines put JRM on their permanent black list after he got tanked like an Amish teenager and acted like a major asshole when the flight attendants refused to let him board the plane at JFK. Sources say that even though it was early in the morning, JRM swallowed cup after cup of the sweet nectar and slowly became a belligerent wreck.

An employee from United confirmed that JRM is no longer one of their friends, but they wouldn't give up any details.

This isn't the first or second time JRM has freaked out on a plane. In 2007, he was arrested for acting like a drunk fool at a Dublin airport. And if you get arrested in Ireland for being a drunk fool then you really must be taking shit to new levels. Beyond WHYDOYOURIDEHIPPOS.

A couple of years later, the French put him into handcuffs when he attacked a bitch at Charles de Gaulle airport. JRM has also tried the rehab thing a few times.

So if one of your dreams is to get punched, slapped or spit on by JRM when he's in one of his drunken rages, then don't fly United.

And actually, maybe JRM should stay away from planes from now on. Maybe he should travel by car, bus, train, inner tube or donkey. Hell, I'll even put on a saddle and take JRM where he needs to go. I would never ban him from my back. I might bite his ass or slap at him, but he'll always have a place on my back. I should get in line, right?

Robert Pattinson showed up to the BAFTAs in London last night looking like he accidentally grabbed the lube bottle instead of the bottle of Dep gel. We've all made that mistake before (just nod like you mean it), but this is absolutely dreadful. It's like his scalp is crying greasy hair tears. Maybe this is the result of his allergic reaction to vaginas. I mean, James Cameron was there.

RPattz could've at least thrown a Bumpit in there for a little height. The sparkle vamp isn't the same unless he looks like he just chewed on a live wire. Hopefully, this is just a one-time fuck up and the unicorns will be back soon to frolic. Moving on...

Everyone seems to think that the big surprise of the BAFTAs was that The Hurt Locker won a bunch of shit. But to me, the biggest surprise was that Kristen Stewart actually won something, and it wasn't for Best Impersonation of a Cardboard Cutout.

Here's some of the winners last night, click here for a full list.

Best Film: The Hurt Locker
Outstanding British Film: Fish Tank
Best Director: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Best Original Screenplay: Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
Best Adapted Screenplay: Jason Reitman & Sheldon Turner, Up In The Air
Best Actor: Colin Firth, A Single Man
Best Actress: Carey Mulligan, An Education
Best Supporting Actor: Chrisoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Best Supporting Actress: Mo'Nique, Precious
Rising Star: Kristen Stewart

And here's a few pictures of the winners, losers and those who were just there for a free gift bag. They are: RPattz, Carey Mulligan, Colin Firth with his wife Livia, Gabourey Sidibe, Guy Pearce, two late-in-life lesbians in love, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers with his girlfriend Reena, Kate Winslet, Clive Owen with Kathryn Bigelow, Kristen Stewart, Matt Dillon, Loki's true soulmate with his fiance Elena, Prince Willy and Tom Ford.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who plays King Henry VIII on The Tudors, says that Henry was not really the mega manwhore everyone thinks he was. According to JRM, you can get fucky with at least 20 people before you're considered a ho fo sho.

He explained, “In The Tudors I’ve only slept with like 22 people. In The Tudors I’ve only slept with like 22 people,” he said. “Which is not bad because if I go out in London on a Saturday night and I say to some handsome young dude or some handsome young girl that’s standing in the club: ‘How many people have you slept with this year’? ‘Er about 50′. So it’s not so much. Henry was much more prudish in history than we portray him in The Tudors. But sex happened and sex was very much a matter of state then."

I'll co-sign everything JRM said. Back then, you spent your days stabbing bitches, eating turkey legs (I've been to Medieval Times) and sexing on hos, so 22 people is nothing. Shit, even today 22 dicks is considered pilgrim-ish. Hardcore sluts go through 22 different genitals in one week! If you're Parasite Hilton, your Venus Peen Snatch swallows up 22 wangs while walking down the block.

And let's not get into telling each other how many sex partners we've had. It's just a number! Besides, I don't think the type of math needed to figure out that number has been invented yet.

VIA Showbiz Spy