There's my girl Pink, looking like she just bit something off of Eminem that he's going to miss. I like her. Girlfriend just expresses herself, with less than a fraction of a fuck to give about what anybody feels about it. She is the teeny bit girly girl meets tomboy break your ass in half extravaganza. HEARTS.
In the near future, she is doing a compilation with the equally adored by me (in an abrasive and scary as fuck way) Eminem on her upcoming The Truth About Love. I'm actually ingrigued to see what these two SUCK IT SOCIETY, I DO WHAT I WANT!! hoes come up with. They've worked together before, when Pink backed his ass up (mmmmmm hmmm!!) on Won't Back Down on his Recovery LP in '10.
According to Daily Mail, in one of the most eloquent interviews ever given to Australia's Herald Sun, she says primly while stroking her pearls with an extended pinkie:
"He said, "Do you want to do a song with me?" "F*** yeah!"
I said, "Do you want to do a song with me?" and he said, "F*** yeah!"
'Handshake. Nothing signed. Done."
Okay, first of all can we all agree that there should be a lot more "FUCK YEAH" at work and a lot less "yes ma'am/sir, I would be SO happy to assist you"?? Wouldn't it make the work day so much better? I could actually look forward to that shit then.
"You want this burger and fries bitch?"
"Fuck yeah! Do you want me to pay you?"
And second, fuck yeah.
Imagine hanging out with these two backstage at the concert. Shit would be busted all to hell, bitches would be dancing on the chairs, toilets would be destroyed, random objects would be burning....HOT!! I am so forwarding this to them in hopes of a back stage pass, even though I will probably jump a fence to get into the concert without paying because the door guy has already been blown. Twice. Don't judge me.
And to celebrate Pink's motherly side, here are a couple of pics of her with Carey and baby girl Willow looking like the perfect super tatted family while chilling in Malibu.
Alan Simpson, the former senator of Wyoming and a co-chair on The Deficit Reduction Commission, think the children of America are a bunch of rude little shits who wear their caps backawards and listen to way too much Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog. Did Mr. Simpson just call our national's youth SCAT LOVERS? Mr. Simpson needs to get his mind out of the dirty bedpan! Dude's got prunes and extra-strength laxatives on the brain.
Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog should really get together with MC Skat Kat to become the new colons of Activia. No wonder Eminem has curbed the rage lately. Bitch finally took a shit.
But the real punchline of this YouTube clip is what they suggest you watch afterward:
Snoopy is in a bad mood, because he's constipated! Duh. Charlie Brown needs to hook his dog up with the great suppository.
With all that being said, I'd still listen the shit out of Enema Man and Snoopy Snoopy Poop Dog.
Eminem's songs are stuffed with more curse words than a 6th grader's Facebook page, but he'll make you bite the Irish Spring and put a dollar in the jar if you so much as launch a "shit" off your tongue in his house. Em, who is raising three girls, tells The Silver Fox in a 60 Minutes interview:
"I'm a parent. I have daughters. I mean, how would I really sound, as a person...walking around my house [saying] 'Bitch, pick this up,' you know what I mean?...I don't cuss. Profanity around my house? No."
Well, that's that. If you ever receive an Evite for a tea party at Eminem's house, you now know to politely return the RSVP card with the "Will Not Attend" box checked off. The only reason to go to his house is for him to tell you to "pick this up, BITCH."
After Christian lets in that bright ass light at the end of Lost, Charlie is dragged down to the basement to live in a dump house where he and Megan Fox slap each other around while Eminem hops like a bunny in the backyard and RiRi McDonald brings the raw emotion in the front.
This is the video for Eminem and RiRi's "Love The Way You Lie", which some say is taking domestic violence and putting it in front of a camera at Glamour Shots. You be the Judge Judy.
One of the things that concerns me the most about this video is that some coked up movie executive is going to see the shot of Megan Fox with flames shooting out of her hands and think to himself, "We've finally found our star for the Firestarter remake!" DAMN YOU, EMINEM!
Eminem used to throw the faggot word around more than the kids in junior high school whenever I would stroll on by in my B.U.M Equipment overalls, but I never totally got homophobic vibes from him. So I wasn't really surprised to read that he thinks us gays should not have sex and fight over the cell phone bill just like the straights.
Do you regret having written so many songs that refer to women as “bitches” and “hos” who exist solely for your pleasure?
Anything I’ve ever said, I certainly was feeling at the time. But I think I’ve calmed down a bit. My overall look on things is a lot more mature than it used to be.
Even your mother sued you for defamation. Is she still in Detroit, where she raised you as a single mom?
I’m not sure, to be honest. It’d be very hard to repair that relationship.
You’ve been accused of writing gay-bashing lyrics in the past. Would you like to see gay marriage approved in Michigan, where you live?
I think if two people love each other, then what the hell? I think that everyone should have the chance to be equally miserable, if they want.
Is this the new, 37-year-old tolerant you?
It’s the new tolerant me!
While I'm happy to learn that Eminem will be coming to my snowflake-themed wedding to Mah Boo in Iceland, I think he should stop supporting the plastic surgeon's scalpel. Em is starting to get the Bambi look Calista Flockhart has been working lately. Thumper does not approve.
You know that rainbow butterfly sugarshake called "Obsessed" that Mimi put out (it's okay if you already forgot about it)? The story goes that the song is about Eminem, but Mimi shook her head "no" when asked about it (SPOILER ALERT: She was lying). Well, Eminem is not just going to sit around eating ham and donut sandwiches and let her do him like. No, Eminem squeezed his ass cheeks together and put out a response that is giving me the hard shits.
Eminem is serious! Dude even chirps that he has some pictures which proves they bumped tittays in the dead of night. Release that shit to the masses! But make sure you pass them through Mimi's personal Photoshop team first.
You know, this shit sounds like every voicemail I left for my ex-boyfriends after they dumped my ass! I'm pretty sure I've used the line "Like I'm gonna sit and fight with you over some slut bitch cunt" at least a dozen times."
And I hope that when Mimi finally gets off from the floor after blacking out from listening to this, she gits him back! The other kids in the playground are waiting!