Cinema

Not surprisingly Borat was the #1 movie this past weekend. What is surprising is the fact that it was only on 837 screens and brought in over $26 million. This is an average of over $30,000 per screen. The #2 movie was The Santa Clause 3 which opened on 3,400 screens and only brought in around $5,783 per screen. Americans bitches really love Borat!

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Diddy wants to be the first "Black James Bond." The next Bond film opens November 17th and stars Daniel Craig. Diddy is waiting for the day that James will go darker and hopes he's the one to do it.

He said, "One day the time will come for a black Bond and hopefully I can audition for it. "It's a dream of mine to play a great role like that."

I think this is a good idea and Kanye West can be his Bond girl, Pussy Galore.

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Tom Cruise and his partner, Paula Wagner, have signed with MGM to bring back United Artists. This comes months after Tom and Paula were fired from Paramount.

Tom will produce and star in films for the new studio and Paula will serve as CEO. United Artists was founded 80 years ago by Charlie Chaplin and Mary Pickford. I’m sure they are rolling in their graves now, knowing this loon is running their ship.

He’s gonna screw it up somehow. Expect this shit to crash and burn in a few years. He should totally remake My Stepmother is an Alien starring Katie Holmes. Isn’t that a UA film?

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Kate Winslet said that she became sick when she had to perform a sex scene in her new movie, Little Children. Kate exposed her saggy breasts for the scene with Patrick Wilson.

She said, “When you get up in the morning and you know you are going to have to go to work and take your clothes off it’s the worst day of your life. You feel awful. You feel sick. And you remind yourself you must never agree to do this again.”

I can’t relate. If I knew I was doing a sex scene with the hotness that is Patrick Wilson, I wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink. It would be like when you’re 6-years-old and know you’re going to Disneyland the next morning. They would have to get security, Shanna Moakler and a crew of sting rays in the room to peel me off his fine ass.

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Brad Pitt likes it up the ass. Well, that’s what I’m taking away from statements he made during a press conference for “Babel.” He told reporters how he loosened up on the set of the very serious drama which opens on November 10th.

He said that he cracked himself up by giving himself an extreme wedgie and then walking around like a duck.

"You've gotta find things to make you laugh during the shoot. Cate (Blanchett) called it the Hungry Bum. When your bum's so hungry it's trying to eat your pants."

Yeah I’m sure Angelina Jolie calls it hungry bum too when she straps on a dildo and does him up the poop shoot. That just turned me on.

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I unfortunately went to see Marie Antoinette last night. Yes, I want to fuck Kiki Dunst with her own snaggletooth, but I buy into hype. My $10 went down the drain. I basically could’ve gotten the same images from a Meat Loaf video. It was all style, no substance.

Many critics agreed with my dumb ass and here are some hot quotes. I love bad reviews:

" Without daddy's money...Coppola's emaciated screenplay would still be moldering on her hard drive as the author worked the 10-4 shift at the Starbucks on Figueroa." – Film Threat

"As for Dunst, there's nothing she does here that couldn't have been done by Jessica Simpson." – Deseret News

So if you want to see this trash, make sure you get drunk and bring some weed. Which will probably get you arrested, but at least you’ll have a much more exciting experience than staying and watching this bore.

That being said, Jamie Donran is in it and he’s the hotness.