Quween Of The Scene

You might have been wondering why your clock stopped ticking for a few minutes this afternoon. No, that secret joint hit you had at lunch wasn't messing with your brains. Time stopped because Mama Betty Rock and the Quween on the Scene exchanged words on the street.

Actually, Quween has protected Betty from the posarassi before, so they go way back. They were just sharing a laugh over pictures of them giving lap dances to drunk frat boys at the strip club and beating on bitches who were trying to eff with their dudes. You know how Betty and the Quween do it.

And by that I mean he put a little sugar in her collection cup. Quween on the Scene deserves every last crisp dollar from Jared Leto, because protecting his precious cardigan from the posarassi is not an easy job. You have to pay up.

I love how Quween is eyeballing his wad of cash. She knows dude has My So-Called Life residuals coming in. Quween always does her research.

By the way, I'm still mad at Quween that her white socks are whiter than mine. Quween must scare away the dirt!

Why didn't I see this coming? This is a picture I never knew I always wanted, but I really did always want it. If that doesn't make any sense, blame it on my one working brain cell trembling while trying to process this picture of greatness.

During NeNe's meeting of the famewhores with fellow Real Housewife Gretchen Rossi, they got a visit from street ROYALTY! Quween on the Scene sniffed out the "posarassi" and got in NeNe's shot. That's not the only thing she took from NeNe. Notice how Quween is reaching around to NeNe's backside. Quween knows that NeNe keeps her crisp bills between her luscious ham cheeks. SNATCH! That's exactly why she's with the Quween!

Where was Quween on the Scene when you needed her, because the security at last night's VMAs was shit! A three-legged, blind chihuahua could have done a better job. Not only did Kanye West manage to crash Taylor Swift's party, but Lil' Mama did the exact same thing during Jay-Z's performance with Alicia Keys.

At the tail end of Jay-Z's performance, a sneaky troll scampered on the stage to try to get a little air time. At one point, Jay-Z tried to shoo Lil' Mama away, but she ignored the hint and instead struck a pose at the end. When did the VMAs turn into my family reunions? Bitches interrupting each other left and right!

At next year's VMAs, the producers will have to gather all the children around to let them know when someone is holding "the talking stick" (aka the mic), that means you need to sit on your hands and listen.

And who was guarding Lil Mama's bridge while she was busy screwing with Jay-Z's performance?! Maybe one of the Olsens covered her shift.

Below is Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' full performance, but skip to the 5:00 mark to watch the tranny troll try to takeover.

Jay Z's bodyguard must have had a hard shit stuck in his ass last night, because he was in no mood. When Jay-Z and Beyonce were leaving a restaurant in Dubrovnik, Croatia, a pepaw pap (pepawrazzi?) tried to get a few pictures of them. Jay-Z's mighty fist (aka his bodyguard) wasn't having it, so he swiped at the pepaw's camera, breaking its light.

Since we all know pepaws are not the one, he fought back by throwing his tripod at Jay's bodyguard. You can guess what happened next. The bodyguard dumped that shit into the ocean.

The pepaw called the cops who charged Jay's bodyguard with fucking up someone else's personal property. Strangely enough, he was not charged with ocean pollution. Don't worry, Bette Midler has his number.

Why does Beyonce even need a bodyguard? I thought she could break jaws with just a thrust of her crotch? And blind a bitch with just a whip from her wig? Obviously, I thought wrong.

Beyonce needs to fire that bodyguard and hire posarassi fighter Quween on the Scene. Quween isn't the violent type. Quween would've made that pap disappear in a flash by asking him for some money. That is the quickest way to get a bitch out of your face.

It looks like Flavor Flav finally found himself a real woman! A woman who can protect him from the posarassi and light his pipe on the first try (take that however you want). And Quween on the Scene won't get the stomach seizures when she gets a piece of old beef jerky in her mouth while licking on his gold teefs. Although, Quween might have to get some Crest strips, because Flav might get jealous that her buttery Chiclets are more yellow than his. That's for them to work out.

The two lovebirds strolled down the streets of Beverly Hills together yesterday. Just a couple of hours later, Quween was devastated to find out about the passing of Michael Jackson. Hopefully, Flav was there to comfort her and a baby Flavor of Quween was created. I think Vh1 just creamed their chonies.

A Quween's work is never done! When does Quween find the time to get her whites so white, her pinks so pink and her teefs so yellow? It seems that she's always busy saving celebrities on the famewhore stroll!

Quween doesn't only protect bitches from the posarassi, she is also a friend and a confidante. Look at how she's counseling Taraji P. Henson like a traveling preacher. And look at how Taraji is keeping her eyes forward and holding still like she's got a wasp on her shoulder. Taraji was taught well. The first thing all parents should teach their kids is to never look a crackhead dead in the eye. NEVER! They will either slap you in the teefs (ala Amy Wino) or refuse to leave your side unless you give them something of value (ala Quween). With that being said, I'd give Quween the filling in my molar if she wanted it!

Quween on the Scene! - "Pos-a-rossi" fighter and defender of all celebwhores! Quween is a fixture on the streets of Beverly Hills and if you're a celebrity who left their bodyguard at home (or can't afford one), she is your savior! Below are just a few pictures of Quween with some of the hos she has rescued.

There was another battle in a parking lot in Beverly Hills today! A group of "pos-a-rassi" swarmed a helpless glittery unicorn who was just trying to find his way! Thankfully, out of nowhere the defender of all celebwhores swooped in to save him! When you have Quween by your side, you know you will make it out alive! You also know that you will probably get into your car with your wallet and Blackberry missing, but you can buy it back at Quween's weekend sidewalk sale! Do these bitches expect her to work for free?! Rocks don't buy themselves!

Below is a clip of Quween rescuing Glamberace today. You might want to pop a Dramamine if you decide to hit play. And I think I have those same jeans Glamberace is wearing. Hmmm...anybody in the mood for a trash can bonfire tonight?

Looks who's protecting Jacko.... It's Quween of the Scene! Noted and documented! And I think she's checking to make sure her own nose didn't quit her ass after gazing at Jacko's butchered mug.

Anyway, Jacko has sold out 50 shows over in London and that is not what the Kind of the Crypt signed up for. Jacko is so angry he could fart through his butt chin!

Jacko slithered out of a dance studio in Los Angeles the other told and told his fans that he doesn't know if he can go on with all 50 shows. Jacko said (read this in his "sweet memaw with the whispers" voice), "Thank you for your love and support, I want you guys to know I love you very much. I don't know how I'm going to do 50 shows. I'm not a big eater - I need to put some weight on. I'm really angry with them booking me up to do 50 shows. I only wanted to do 10, and take the tour around the world to other cities, not 50 in one place I went to bed knowing I sold 10 dates, and woke up to the news I was booked to do 50."

Jacko should've sucked on a bottle filled with Jesus Juice (with a dash of protein powder) and kept his precious vagina lips shut! If he's too fragile to thrust his bones, he could bring in a team of doppelgangers to perform in his place. Paging LaToya Jackson, Teri Hatcher, Lynne from The Real Housewives of Orange County and the female skeleton from my 7th grade science class! Your services are needed in London! Not one bitch would flinch. Truth.

VIA The Sun