Hookers

Shayne Lamas, the winner of The Bachelor, is celebrating her engagement to Matt Grant by posing in Girls Gone Wild magazine. Shauna Sand must be proud.

22-year-old Shayne is featured in a six-page photo spread. The spread features no nudity. Boring! She's saving showing off her chocha and nippies for Penthouse when her fake ass engagement to Matt expires.

Girls Gone Wild magazine?! What does the ultra-sophisticated Lorenzo Lamas have to say about this? He's probably going to have the magazine framed and put over his bathroom toilet.

Actually, I think this makes me love Shayne's trashy ass even more. I mean, Girls Gone Wild?!

VIA People

Sarah Larson is addicted to "Rock of Love." I knew she was one of those classy call girls and not the trashy kind. Sarah said that when she fucked herself up in a motorcycle accident, she glued herself to marathons of the show. She even got George Clooney addicted.

She told Harper's Bazaar, "We caught ourselves rooting for someone or getting frustrated. And we were like, 'This is sad.'" Sad?! Sarah probably knows half of those twats from working the ho stroll with them. Sarah would be on Rock of Love if she wasn't licking Clooney taint.

Sarah's biggest credit is being a contestant on Fear Factor, but she said she would not have dated George if he was also a reality star. "If George had been on a reality show, I don't think I'd have talked to him. It would have been like, 'That's nice.' "I don't know. He still wants to date me, and I ate a scorpion." That's exacty why he did choose her, because if she'll put a scorpion in her mouth, she'll put anything in her mouth. Georgie totally likes it dirty. That being said, Sarah is turning out to be one of the smartest hos in Hollywood.

Here's Sarah at some event for Giorgio Armani the other night. Last year, Sarah was probably getting groped by Giorgio the bus boy at the bar she worked at and now she's clicking champagne glasses with Giorgio Armani.

Brazilian footballer Ronaldo was questioned by the fuzz after an argument with three tranny hookers he met in Rio de Janeiro on Sunday night. The AC Milan star met three call girls at a nightclub. He told police he knew they were hookers, but didn't know they were dudes. He took the three trannies to a motel where he discovered the truth. He offered them around $600 each to leave. Two of the trannies accepted, but the other tranny, Andre Luis Ribeiro Albertino (above), demanded $30,000 or else.

Andre, who likes to be called Andrea, claims Ronaldo took drugs. She also has a receipt from Ronaldo's purchase of the three hos. Receipt?! Is that shit tax-deductible? For the record, prostitution is illegal in Brazil. Andrea posted a shitty video on YouTube featuring Ronaldo. She also posed with his car documents in the picture above.

The Sun reports that Ronaldo went to the cops after Andrea blackmailed his ass. Ronaldo denies Andrea's claim that he took drugs. The police chief said, "Ronaldo's testimony is more reliable. From zero to 10, I give his testimony a nine. He was very excited and wanted to go out and have fun, without the press knowing. Ronaldo said he is not good in the head and that he is going through psychological problems because of his recent surgery. But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best."

Even Stevie Wonder can tell you that hooker has a dick. She looks more like a dude than Ronaldo does! I hope there's more to this story, because I love a juicy tranny hooker scandal!

Below is the shitty clip of Ronaldo and Andrea telling his story:

Carmen Electra will make Rob Patterson her third husband. Carmen has dated Rob, the former touring guitarist of Korn, for not even a year.

37-year-old Rob popped the question while they were celebrating her 36th Birthday in Las Vegas this past weekend. Her spokeswhore confirms it. Carmen also recently got an "R" tattoo behind her ear and it doesn't stand for retarded.

A source told People that the ring "is a black diamond set in white diamonds." When I hear the words "white diamonds," I automatically think of Elizabeth Taylor's commercial. "Not so fast Tom Ryan!"

Carmen was married to Dennis Rodman for less than a year and Dave Navarro for a little over 3 years.

Carmen is marrying the wrong snatch. We all know she belongs with Joan Jett.

Denise Richards is in Hawaii trying to resurrect her dead career by filming a reality show. I can tell the show is going to be thrilling. Denise paddling in the ocean? Edge of our fucking seats. Producers should at least throw a jellyfish at her ass, so they can get some kind of emotion out of her. She probably wouldn't even realize it was stinging her, because she's on a 20-second delay.

And in other news, allergies are fucking me in the ass without lube today. If my posts start not making sense, it's the Benadryl talking. Yeah, when do my posts make sense? Good question.

Heather Mills has long denied that she ever got paid to fuck, but some chick named Denise Hewitt has come forward in a new documentary claiming she used to work the pussy line with Heather back in the 80s.

In the documentary called "Heather Mills: What Really Happened," Denise said they used to act out lesbo fantasies for clients for up to $20,000 a night. This was long before Heather lost her leg. She probably would have made more without a leg, because those bitches with fetishes will pay top dollar to lick that shit.

Denise also claimed that Heather told her she gave Paul McCartney an ultiamtium about marrying her, “She said, ‘I’ll give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t marry me within say eight months, ten months, I’m going to leave him’.” When Paul finally proposed, Heather still bashed his ass to Denise. She told her, “Well look at me, I’m marrying an old man with bigger tits than me.”

Denise said that when it comes to people, Heather gets what she wants, “They just fall madly in love with her and I take my hat off to her because she manipulates people and they’re besotted, like enchanted, you know - like she throws fairy dust all over them.”

That picture above was taken in the 80s and she definitely has "HO face." You can tell she's wearing jewelry bought with her sex money. Sex jewelry is always tackier.

You know, I wish the Heather from the 80s would come back. The Heather that fucked for money, posed for naked pictures and had amazing hair. That Heather sounds fun.

Source

Thanks Mimi

Bill Maher seriously gets all the hot pieces and I'm sure he pay tops dollar for that shit. I always feel sorry for the call girls that have to suck old man dick to pay their rent. Hopefully, Bill Maher is helping them out by popping the Viagra. Nothing is worse then sucking on old soft dick. You can get arthritis in the jaw from trying to turn old soft dick into old hard dick. It's a losing battle. Trust me.

Here's Bill and his "friend" leaving dinner last night.

I was hoping that last night's Rock of Love 2 Reunion would be a massive herpes flare up. It was only a minor case of the crabs. There was only one cat fight and a couple of bitch matches. I wanted a major skank brawl before every commercial break!

One of the hottest moments came when Angelique and Aubry got into it. Angelique hit the whore on the head when she said, "Aubry you look like a rat on crack." Aubry fired back by saying Angelique looks like a tranny. Pot calling the kettle tranny! Aubrey looks like a tranny rat on crack. How about that?

Angelique also said she quit stripping, but I'm sure that means she's doing porn full-time now.

The show also reunited Bret with that old hag Ambre. It was kind of gross watching them fake snuggle. It's like walking in our daddy doing your mommy from the back. It's totally uncomfortable and not something you ever need to see in life.

The other hot moment came when Heather beat down the plastic muppet. I posted the clip last week, but here it is again! Daisy's weave makes Brit Brit's look like gorgeous Lady Godiva hair.

Alicia Douvall is a "glamour model" in the UK and she's one of my favorite drunk, pieces of trash. She makes Jordan look like the Queen of England. Alicia has had over 50 plastic surgeries and she's known for her fake tits and party girl ways. Alicia has had 12 surgeries on her tits alone and she's going in for another one, because she's not happy with the results.

It's no surprise that her 12-year-old daughter, Georgia, wants a boob job for her 13th Birthday. Hey, some girls want Hannah Montana crap and some want new tits! Alicia probably gave her pole dancing lessons for her 11th Birthday. You got to start them young nowadays.

Alicia told Closer Magazine (via The Sun), "Georgia wrote a little birthday wish-list for her 13th birthday later this month and on it was Kate Moss perfume, an iPhone and a boob job." Georgia said that she thinks it's normal to have plastic surgery, because her mom has had it.

Alicia will get her daughter a boob job, but only when she turns 16. "I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well. That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career. She's been at a modeling agency since she was about six. She'll be more famous than Britney!"

Where's that mother of the year award?! The competition is over. Here's the winner!

Georgia also changed her name to Destiny, because Alicia thinks it will be better for her career. Alicia said, "I wanted to call her Destiny when she was born, but my mum said it sounded like a lap dancer's name."

More famous than Britney? It sounds to me like she's going to be more like Jenna Jameson than Britney Spears. What the hell! If kids aren't killing each other's asses, they are becoming whores at the age of 13. Poor girls are going to be having vagina rejuvenation at the age of 18.

This is another prime example on why some prostitutes should be fixed before they can breed!

Feminist hero and glorified skank, Heidi Montag, galloped down the catwalk last night for the launch of Heidiwood for Anchor Blue. Heidi's pony show was held at the Hollywood & Highland Center.

Racked LA reports that in honor of this momentum occasion, the center was renamed Heidiwood & Highland for one day. That sounds pretty fitting since Hollywood & Highland is going to be Heidi's corner in a few years when the "reality whore thing" stops working out for her.

The fashion show featured Heidi wannabes modeling her trash. None of them really looked like they should be grazing in the open fields, so they weren't much of a Heidi look-alike.