Hot Slut of the Day

The Bang Bang Lady and The Boom Boom Girl - Happy Fourth of July, hos! If you plan to celebrate by doing firework stuff today, I suggest you get in your car (or take the next Chinatown bus) to Phenix City, Alabama and ask for The Bang Bang Lady or The Boom Boom Girl to assist you with all your sparkly needs. Also, maybe you should let The Boom Boom Girl know that in certain circles her nickname means "prostitution whore." Actually, maybe that's what they are really selling over there! Buy 1 and get a finger bang bang and a bagina boom boom for free! It is the American way.

And if you are an American, it is your duty to watch all of their commercials. Actually, if you are a citizen of the world, it is your duty to watch this shit! That's Hawwwwwt!

Chris Jagger - The original host of my favorite show to watch at 4pm on a weekday afternoon: Change of Heart! Chris now hosts a radio show in Dallas. The goatee has not vacated the premises yet.

Below is a clip of the rapper The Game on Change of Heart. Yes, Change of Heart will make you a star.....while making you look like a damn fool too.

They need to bring this mess back as a companion piece to Cheaters!

Hoppy, the gangsta cat of Minneapolis! - Hoppy is only one of two cats on Minneapolis' most dangerous pussies list, because he just can't stop doing hood rat stuff. Hoppy has been impounded a couple of times by the city for attacking dogs and humans for no reason. One of Hoppy's neighbors says the devil pussy cunt even forced him to the ground one time. The city considered sending Hoppy to death row, but they decided not to. Instead, Hoppy has to be micro-chipped and put on a leash whenever he goes outside. Don't worry, Hoppy will get his revenge! You can't keep a mean pussy down!

Bro Franklin! - This dude has become sort of famous around Houston for busting moves during "offering time" at his local church. Dude is seriously happy about GIVING money. Most of cry when handing over dollars, but this dude dances. I mean, he pops, he does aerobics, jazzercise, tumbling, vogueing, disco and lyrical! Homeboy is like one full episode of So You Think You Can Dance!

For soulgrrl

Jane Velez-Mitchell - Jane is a journalist of sorts who has her own show on HLN. Before that, she was an anchor for KCAL in L.A. and had a show called Celebrity Justice. Jane is also open about loving the vagina and she once said on air that she is a recovering boozer. More importantly, Jane is the owner of the most gorgeous 70s trailer trash lipstick lesbian mullet ever. Really, what is that? It's kind of the femme version of Carol Brady's butchie mullet (with a flip).

For Ana

Ginger (as played by Tara Buck) from True Blood - Ginger is the fangbanging waitress/hot bitch at Fangtasia who has been glamorized so many times that she forgot she is the real inspiration for the character Jerri Blanks on Strangers with Candy. But seriously, anybody with Jerri Blanks hair is a certified hot slut.

Pabst, the winner of the World's Ugliest Dog contest 2009! Pabst, a boxer-mix with a serious under bit from Citrus Heights, CA, beat out a dozen beautifully fugly dogs to win the crown as well as $1,600 in prizes and a modeling contract. Pabst is the first non-Chinese Crested dog to win the title in 5 years.

Below is a video clip of some of the other dogs and you'll see that Pabst isn't that fugly! I don't want to hiss at him or throw holy water at his face, so he's not that bad! Before 3 years of headgear use and 5 years of braces, my teeth practically looked like that.

With a wig, some lipstick, a pair of fake lashes and a new set of plastic titty balls, Pabst could practically pass for a housewife on The Real Housewives series. Bitch would look better actually.

For Lynne

Pinky Tuscadero (as played by Roz Kelly) - Fonzie's main bitch and the best-dressed ho on Happy Days.

For Jackie

As a tribute to Michael Jackson....Bubbles! MJ rescued Bubbles from a cancer research center in 1985. They were true friends for years, but MJ had to send Bubbles off to a sanctuary in Sylmar, CA in 2002 when he started acting up a bit. At the time, his Bubbles' trainer Bob Dunn told The New York Daily News, "He's in his 20's. He's doing fine." According to this report, Bubbles is now living in Florida.

UPDATE: Click here to see where Bubbles is living today. There's pictures too! (Thanks Stacy)

Lahoma Sue Smith - First of all, this hot bitch's name is LAHOMA. That's reason enough. Second of all, she got arrested for whoring herself out for some chips! We've all said before, "I'd suck a dick for some Doritos!" Well, this bitch really did it. Yes, Lahoma traded fucks for Fritos! Lays for Lays! Chocha for Cheetos! You know Brit Brit is jealous, because this could've been her! Damn! Next time.

The Oklahoma City police found Lahoma trying to catch a john by flashing her headlights on the street. No, not her titties. The headlights from her car. The po po followed Lahoma's car and found her with her chichis out and a dude in the passenger seat with his pants down. The dude told the cops that he was having wife issues and was looking for a hooker. He also said that he didn't have any money, but Lahoma, being the classy high-paid escort that she is, agreed to give him a little sexin' for a $30 case of Frito-Lay chips he had in his car. The dude works at Frito-Lay.

Lahoma was arrested and ordered to pay a fine of $1,142. Um. Does the court accept Frito-Lay chips as payment?

Source (For Jizzball)