Blind Items

This top celebrity makes a big deal out of talking about motherhood and how much time she spends being a good mom. She would lead you to believe that she dotes on her children and takes an active role in their lives. Not so. When the kid/s were little, she only changed about one out of every hundred diapers. The kid/s are being raised by a small army of nannies. Our star has limited contact with them except during photo opportunities, which are always staged with her carrying the child/ren, even if they are big enough to walk on their own. Why? Because she thinks that carrying a child makes her look motherly and “likable”. (Blind Gossip)

Okay, okay it's not OctoMommy. The day she is considered a "top celebrity" and "star," is the day the entire media needs to shut down and we should all go back to living like the pilgrims did. Anyway, my guess is Vadge?

Which alcoholic songbird wears her sunglasses even inside her hair salon so no one can see how sauced she is? (Gatecrasher)

Susan Boyle or Jessica Simpson?

This dirty older star tells airport security that he has a pacemaker, so he has to be hand screened. The real reason? He enjoys the personal attention from the lady that does the screening. He’s careful to choose the line with the woman he finds most attractive. He must get off on the kinky side of it, because our star could definitely afford to buy it if he wasn’t getting it at home. It’s not Bruce Willis! (BuzzFoto via Blind Gossip)

The bigger question is have you ever seen a hot security bitch at the airport?! And they usually look like they want to rip off your genitals with their eyes. My guess is The Hoff, Alec Baldwin or James Woods?

This B list actress/singer tweener is a little older than the characters she portrays. She is tired of studios, managers, and agents telling her what to do and so as her first order of business with her new self she kicked her "boyfriend" to the curb. Oh, she likes guys, she just didn't want the arranged "boyfriend" any longer. (CDAN)

Vanessa Hudgens? She was tired of sharing her MAC Lip Glass.

This tweener actor on a hit show needs to get off the coke that was introduced to him by a former tween actor, and now, unemployed drug addict on the same network. (CDAN)

I have no clue. Kelly Taylor's baby, Sammy, on 90210?

This A list movie actor who was also a star on television has a scene in a recent movie where he strips down to his underwear. Because of the lighting no one noticed anything amiss. It was only when the movie was being edited that his penile piercing was noticed through the underwear. A large piercing that had to be digitally removed. (CDAN)

That's Prince Albert above and this blind item is obviously dedicated to his kinky ass. I have no idea with this one. I thought of Ashton Kutcher, but that dick bag isn't exactly A list. Other guesses include Woody Harrleson, Johnny Depp or Jamie Foxx?

Which closeted — and married — actor almost had his cover blown when he hit on a straight man in a sauna? Word is the offended dude is now quite wealthy, thanks to a payoff. (Gatecrasher)

Pass me the bag that says "down low peen lovers" and let's reach inside. This could be John Travolta? Tommy Girl? Will Smith? Hugh Jackman? Etc....

Which young, up-and-coming and freshly engaged Hollywood couple are already arguing - over the terms of the contract they both signed to stay together for at least one year while rumors around his sex life die down, and while her management try just one more time to get her established as a movie rather than a TV actress? (Popbitch)

That chick from The OC and that dude who ruined Darth Vadar?

This celebrity couple’s pre-nuptial agreement required the wife to stay in the relationship for a certain amount of time. However, the Stepford Wife’s law firm has decided that it may be difficult to impossible for the husband to enforce this. It seems that the wife knows much more than she should about the husband’s long-time and very personal relationship with another high-profile man. She is using that knowledge to get her sentence reduced and to to gain custody over the couple’s kid/s. It’s still not Nicole Kidman.(Blind Gossip)

These blind items better not let us down. Stepford Katie better run for the door and bring pictures of Will Smith fingering Tommy Girl's Scientolohole with her.

This action/comedy star has some serious odor issues. On the set of his film which just wrapped, the studio has had to complete redo his trailer - new paint, floors, etc. Apparently the smell of B.O. was strong enough to curl anyone’s nose, and no amount of scrubbing could eradicate it. It’s not Matt Damon…or his BFF Ben for that matter. (BuzzFoto)

Matthew McConaughey, but I would think the delicious scent of his bong would drown out any body grossness.

This married, aging C list movie actress was the indie "it" actress long before Parker Posey. For the past six months she has been having an affair with a man on parole for killing his wife. (CDAN)

Lifetime has its next movie-of-the-week right here. And Jennifer Jason Leigh as the star?

Which rehabbed actor is back on the sauce? He just can’t keep his hands off the booze when he’s in L.A.! (Gatecrasher)

Jonathan Rhys Meyers? He's got eyes that scream "white lines," but maybe his poison is the sweet nectar?

Could it be that a certain former heartthrob has left his wife for someone of the same sex? Well, there are so many contenders for this one. In the past couple months, three guys on the down low have announced separations. The one we’re talking about, however, is a case of life imitating art since he’s played gay before - notoriously. Of course, this was before his marriage, before he got famous (well, kinda around the same time)…but after he was pushed back into the closet. What goes in, despite good intentions, must eventually come out. And in and out! (Billy Masters via Blind Gossip)

This one has Big Gay Willie written all over it, but he hasn't announced that he's quitting that lizard man he's married too. I'll still go with him and I'm sooo hoping he's shacking up in Tommy Girl's dungeon.

Here’s some hot gossip from over the weekend in Hollywood! These two exes were spotted smooching at a nightclub in WeHo. We guess the romance is back on? Glad to hear it, we liked these two together! It wasn't LiLo. (BuzzFoto)

WeHo? See above. Or maybe Star Jones and Gay Al finally settled their disagreement over who looks better in a g-string bikini.

Which actor needs to give his nose a break? His coke-heavy ‘model parties’ have already sent him to the hospital once recently, but he can’t stop being host to starlets. (Star Magazine Via Blind Gossip)

Josh "I Drank Third World Water" Hartnett?

Which teen-favorite international actor, who avoids gay rumors but never seems to have a girlfriend, has fallen in love with his own stunt double? It would be the perfect relationship for an actor (falling in love with a version of himself), except the object of his affections is straight. (Ben Widdicombe via CDAN)

I have two guesses: DanRad or RPattz? If it's RPattz and the world finds out, we will soon all be covered in the remnants of a million exploding vaginas.

This B list television comic actor was at a party very recently. At the party he was overheard offering a female reality tv host increasing amounts of money to sleep with him that night. At one point the offer was $20K. She declined everytime and said she was faithful to her very talented celebrity significant other. (CDAN)

Shit, I would've done it for 20 chicken wings from Popeye's! Okay, for 2 wings. My guess is Charlie Sheen, Heidi Klum and Seal? Charlie doesn't care about a little thing called "baby in the womb."

This D list movie and television actress with A+ list name recognition keeps auditioning for teenage and early 20’s acting roles. The problem she hasn’t realized yet is that all the meth she keeps consuming is making her look 40 and as a consequence hears one no after another for decent roles. Producers don’t want to tell her that though for fear of making her angry or upset which could be very bad for future business. (CDAN)

Bloooooooooooooohan? But could very well be Mischa Barton too.

This young and pretty television actress is a pro on the set. Always on time. Always know her lines. But that may not last long. She has started drinking on a regular basis. It doesn’t take a party for her to pour a little something extra into her beverages. A shot in the afternoon coffee, some vodka in the water bottle. Girl, you’re not hiding it as well as you think. Please get help. (Blind Gosssip)

One the tricks from Gossip Girl? I'm going to guess Blake Lively or Little Jenny? And vodka with coffee is nast. Bitch, use some Bailey's, whisky or a little rum. Don't be sick!

Women aren’t the only ones who are occasionally in denial about their age. This West Coast actor in the forty-ish range is planning on playing a teenager in his next film. No, it’s not like one of those “Big” or “17 Again” scenarios, where the character knows he is one age but is pretending to be another. This actor really thinks he can still pass for a teenager. Those around him won’t tell him to his face that they think he will look like a fool trying to play a character twenty plus years younger, but they sure are talking about it behind his back. Dude, get a clue. (Blind Gossip)

Please let it be Tommy Girl! Please! And please it be for the title role in the remake of Teen Witch!

Which rap titan sweats so profusely during shows that even hard-core female fans won’t go near him until he changes? (Gatecrasher)

Diddy? It's just his body self-moisturizing the sexy.

This Stepford Wife is close to splitting from her husband. She has actually consulted with several high-profile divorce lawyers on both coasts. The main issue here seems to be custody of their kid/s, whom the husband is intent on keeping. Thankfully, she’s gotten her parents involved, even though she had distanced herself from them over the past few years. No It’s Not: Nicole Kidman. (Blind Gossip)

There's only one celebwhore who has the dead and glazed eyes of a Stepford Wife, but that sounds way too good to be true. Besides, doesn't that weepy robot have a 10-year-contract?

Which funnyman doesn't even bother to hide his drug habit? When pals come to visit his pad, they're just as likely to see baggies of cocaine lying around as they are to see throw pillows. (Gatecrasher)

Mickey Rooney, of course. I would say Andy Dick, but is he considered funny and a man?

This B list movie actor is on the cusp of A list. He had a breakout year last year. He considers himself to be a method actor to some extent. For researching one role he spent a great deal of money on drugs. Just for research mind you. Since he considered the research crucial to his acting performance he wanted to know if he could deduct the $15,000 he spent on drugs. (CDAN)

James Franco? And Blohan should bitch out her agent for not getting her that role.

Which singer/talk show hostess should be more careful where she shops? She was taken recently to a downtown storage facility where she bought $10,000 worth of luxury designer goods of dubious provenance — not fake, but fallen off the truck. (Page Six)

Kathie Lee Gifford?! And why does that make me happy?

This mummy has been passing stories on the set about how she drinks a glass or two of wine every night. No problems with that, except that she said she did so when she was still breastfeeding. We hope she was joking, but she’s not really known for her sense of humor. It’s not Jennifer Garner. (BuzzFoto)

A little booze in the leche never hurt anybody! Besides, baby has all day to sleep off its hangover. My guess is Rebecca Romjin, because she's the first chick that popped into my head.

Which Euro fashion designer with an outrageous reputation and a recent contract with a major US retailer might yet regret that night out at a leather club many years ago? There’s a picture involving nipple clamps and a douche d’or that won’t play so well in Peoria. (StyeList via Blind Gossip)

My first thought was Thierry Mugler since he looks like he knows his way around a harness or two. I just hope if it's Karl Lagerfeld, those pictures never see the light of ANYTHING. Eyes would die.

Which sensual singer tells his girlfriends that although he’s straight, he still receives oral pleasure from other men — then fumes when they suggest he’s bisexual? (Gatecrasher)

The only singer living today I'd call sensual is Sade. You know it's true. Since it's not Sade, I'll guess John Legend? There's been rumors that his manhole puckers for the peen.

This foreign born singer who has been in this space before, doesn't even disguise her dislike of her celebrity husband. When she is drunk, her favorite game is to put her husband on speaker phone and let everyone around her listen while she yells at him, calls him names, and humiliates him as much as possible. No matter what though, he still hasn't left. (CDAN)

AVRIL?! AVRIL?! OR AVRIL?!

Which seemingly straight married actor conducts his man-to-man hanky-panky in the hangar of the Santa Monica Airport? (Gatecrasher)

"Seemingly" is the only word throwing me off. But this has Travolta written all over, right? When Johnny and Tommy Girl play Bottom Gun, they like to make it extra authentic.

This frantic actress has been battling her weight, but that’s not the only problem she has. Recently she screeched up to an all night Hollywood drugstore in search of a bottle of Absolut Vodka. She and her mannish girlfriend coaxed the clerk into selling it even though it was close to 2 AM. The clerk handed her the bottle and she grabbed it and took a gulp “I really needed that!” The actress generously handed the guy $50 and also tossed him a joint and a pill she described as a “muscle relaxer." It's not Lindsay. (Janet Charlton via Blind Gossip)

Not Blohan?! This reads like it was written by Blohan herself. Hm. Michelle Rodriguez?

This married B list actress from a longish running network drama has cheated on her celebrity husband three times in the past 12 days. Oh, and it isn't like this was one guy she cheated with three times. Noooo. It was three guys over the past 12 days. It is definitely an interesting way to run a marriage. (CDAN)

Please let it be Katherine HAGEL, and please let her get caught. PLEASE!!!

Dad has several kids, but we’ll focus on two, who are both adults. Offspring A is the A list celebrity everyone knows, who Dad acknowledges as his blood, and who has his name. Offspring B is his illegitimate child, and has a different last name. Offspring B is in the same business as Offspring A, and they have even worked together, but B has always been treated as a second-class citizen. Sadly, Dad has even made several moves to sabotage B’s career. For example, every time B has a project that’s about to be released, Dad pushes Offspring A into the headlines. Now B is struggling a bit, but are Dad and A stepping up to help? No. As usual, B will have to rely on him/herself to find work and pay the bills. (Blind Gossip)

Sasha Fierce and Kelly Rowland? Daddy Knowles can try and sabotage Kelly's career, but he will never prevail! She's doing big things now like hosting that Project Runway knock-off on Bravo. Don't laugh! It's a paying gig (I think).

Unbelievably shocking. It is just an affair. Those things happen everyday, but this one is mind blowing. Married. Child(ren). Academy Award Nominee/Winner. Actress. Permanently B list. Probably won't ever move up or down from that position. She is having an affair with one of her trainers. She has a couple. He comes to her place when her husband is not around. No hotels, no sneaking around. Only at her place. It has been going on for almost 9 months. (CDAN)

Helen Mirren?! That tramp! But my other guess is Melanie Griffith?

This A list actress is more famous for one lucky television role than the truly awful acting she has done in movies. Well, she had a recent breakup. Her publicity machine cranked out every story it could to say she was the one who had done the breaking up with her singer boyfriend. Well, this may be true, but then why would the singer have to change his phone number and e-mail address after she wouldn't stop trying to contact him? When she couldn't reach the singer why would she start calling all of his friends to beg them for his number? What she is telling his friends is that she can't move on without some kind of closure. (CDAN)

Sigh. Aniston, honey, take my hand. We need to go get you some dick.

This older, semi-classic actress has grown such a distaste for American, English-speaking television that she is now watching Spanish TV almost exclusively. She even ordered more channels to give her some variety. She does not speak any Spanish, but that doesn’t seem to bother her a bit. It’s not Betty White. (BuzzFoto)

Lauren Bacall? And I used to do that shit when I was little. I would sit watching novellas for hours and had no idea what they were saying. The catfights left me mesmerized.

Which wholesome TV host shocked partygoers when he pulled out a baggie of Colombia’s finest? (Gatecrasher)

Why would they be shocked to see a bag of coffee beans? My guess is Willard Scott? You know that bitch likes to party.

Which closeted TV icon enjoys “watersports” in his bedroom? His steady stream of gentleman callers are a little grossed out by it. (Gatecrasher)

Those gentleman callers are weak. Partaking in golden showers is just another way to get clean...or dirty. Now, I don't really believe it's Mah Boo, but it was just an excuse to use that picture. Mah Boo only likes to tickle and cuddle. My real guess is Willard Scott?

Which OCD celeb is so scared of germs that she insists on having her toilet replaced in every hotel she stays in? (3am Girls)

I heard Vadge did this sort of thing, but I think Mimi might do it as well. And it's hard to find a Hello Kitty toilet.

This tween-pleaser is not making any buddies in Toluca Lake. She enjoys taking her doggies out for a walk, like any responsible doggy owner does. Is she allergic to latex though? Because she never picks up, and people are getting pissed about the mess. And this girl doesn’t need any more unpopular points from real life folk, trust us. (BuzzFoto)

Hannah Shittannah? And she better not be allergic to latex, because the world is not ready to end. And that's what will happen if she spawns.