Colin Farrell's brother Eamon married Steven Mannion in Canada recently, and last night they threw a wedding reception in Dublin so that all their Irish relatives could celebrate their wedded bliss. Colin brought his son James along, because every one of us should go to as many gay weddings as possible. The Andre at gay weddings not only tickles your nose, but it tickles your nipples and no-no too. At the same time! And you really haven't lived an Abba song until you've danced to one under a disco ball at a gay wedding. These are facts!
Here's more from Eamon and Steven's wedding reception last night. You know, Eamon looks like something you'd get when rubbing a Glamberace and a Rosie O'Donnell together. And Steven kind of looks like Carson Kressley on testosterone.
Stepford Katie stepped out of her cage yesterday to buy a last-minute gift for Tommy Girl at Hermes in Beverly Hills. I didn't know Hermes sold vibrating butt plugs and anal probes. Good to know.
As usual, Katie looked like someone spit in her barley (all signs point so Suri). Seriously, isn't that the saddest L-Word extra you ever did see? Bitch looks like a lezzie after finding out that her ex-scissor sister stole her autographed Indigo Girls CD. Even that creepy wax-like Santa Claus/serial killer couldn't scare any life into Stepford Katie. Although, not much would scare you if you regularly saw Tommy Girl walk around pantless with only a "Scientologists Do It Better" half-shirt on.
Every year the Crown Queen of HanCOCK Park, Norwood Young, beckons all the glittermeisters and their admirers to his palace of peens for his White Christmas party. And this year was no exception.
Last night, Norwood slipped on Liberace's old baking ensemble to pop the bubbly and spread the sparkles with guests including Luenell and Natalie Cole. Fur, flames and fabulousness!
You might want to stick an icicle in your ass before looking at all these pictures, because they will definitely give you a flaming fever. Unfortunately, the photographer didn't get a shot of Norwood's shirtless gay elves lifting him onto his throne to hourglass wave at all his subjects.
After getting married on Saturday, Kevin Jonas and that Danielle chick went off to Mexico to commence with the non-stop fornication! Or in Danielle's case, to commence with the non-stop texting!
If you have never done sex before and God finally gives you the OK by winking at you during your wedding ceremony, shouldn't you take all them panties off and fuck until your genitals cry for mercy?
To be fair, maybe these two are just taking a break. Although, Danielle could at least pretend like she cares. Gold digging is a full time job.
Danielle, tell Tiger Woods you'll text him after the honeymoon and put that shit down. A Jonas prostate needs massaging!
I wish I would've seen this video before going Christmas shopping yesterday. Oh, how I wish I could've just rode through the streets on a Roomba slapping hos who got in my way. This cunty pussy has the right idea.
Although, I do feel for the pit bull. The poor bitch is not only getting drive-by slapped by a cat on a Roomba, but he has to go through that shit while wearing an argyle sweater.
Shia LaBeouf spent part of his morning yesterday sucking on a fag in front of the Tower of Urology in Los Angeles. Now let's not jump to conclusions. Let's not think that he's only there because a ball of dick butter got caught in his peen hole and the doctor had to suck it out with a straw. No. That is just Shia's favorite spot for a morning smoke.
If even the thought of Baby Alive keeps you up at night, then take a peek at this Japanese baby simulator that is bound to be the star of many nightmares. Yotaro is his name and causing terror is his game!
Not only does Yotaro cry real tears, but he also reacts to human interaction. Among other things.
You know, creating something like this does make sense. Personally, I think that bitches should have to successfully care for Yotaro before they get the OK to procreate. But I don't know anybody who would put this thing in their house. Can you imagine trying to close your eyes at night when you've got Yotaro in the next room? That's a horror movie waiting to happen.
And don't be surprised if you see Stepford Katie pushing Yotaro down the street in a stroller. Suri will get a playmate!
Around this time last year, RuPaul transformed herself into Michelle and Barack Obama. This year, Ru picked up some glasses at Costco and slipped on a Land's End windbreaker to channel Sarah Palin for a promo shot for RuPaul's Drag Race (premieres Feb. 1st on Logo).
Hopefully, this means that Ru is going to RuPaul-ize some of Palin's catchphrases on the show. I'm thinking something like: "I can see that tuck from my house!"
Jacqueline Ray took a few minutes out from her catering job to get in front of a Windows '95 screensaver and serenade us with a catchy (punned on purpose) song about the dangers of fucking on someone who isn't your faithful spouse. Jacqueline also brought along two of her co-workers, who look like they would rather be back to serving canapes than singing about herpes.
And I'm really glad that I watched this video, because I was planning on naming my first born Trichomoniasis K.
TLC's Police Women of Broward County is currently dark for the season, so I've desperately missed the smell of burnt polyester, wet cigarettes and perm juice that constantly wafts off of Detective Julie Bower's oh-so-crispy peroxide angel wings. Even through the TV screen. If only she could bottle that scent and sell at all Loaf 'N Jugs. She can call it "South Florida." That's a compliment.
Here's Detective Bower with her Police Women co-stars and Dancing with the Has-Beens' alumni Jason Taylor at some ping-pong charity event in Hollywood, FL yesterday. Detective Bower must have known that the public has been patiently waiting to get another glimpse of her beauty, because she brought it big with the white tip nails, Bonne Bell bronzer, and the rhinestone western belt circa 1997. The rhinestones almost blinded me from seeing the cell phone strapped to her waistband. I will forgive her for that.
Officer JB is definitely one of my fashions icons of '09.