Deliciousness

It's kind of fitting that I'm following a post about Wynonna Judd's Alli shits with this picture. Anyshitty, a while ago I posted a caption picture that is probably somehow related to this fuckery going on above. This is what they call mechanically separated chicken. It's what they use to make Chicken McNuggets and other delicious morsels. It looks like strawberry soft-serve! It's also what comes out of one of Wonky's coochie pimples.

Looking at shit like this won't stop me from ordering a 20-piece McNugget after a drunk night. It really looks delicious to me, because I'm picturing it going in a tub of Crisco and getting fried. My sister's ex-boyfriend once tried to get me off McDonald's by telling me they used worm meat instead of beef and chicken. Didn't stop me. I don't care if that crap is made out of possum jizz. It still tastes right to me.

Source: Buzzfeed

Yes, my dreams have come alive thanks to the South Korean who invented this french fry-coated hot dog. This would be a mouth orgasm on a stick if the hot dog was filled with mayo and cheese. I'm going to pretend it is. It's making my tongue jizz. The things I want to do with that thing.

And I bet you it looks exactly the same way coming out as it does going in!

Source: Urlesque

I did not know this. I must find some. Now if only In-N-Out can get in on the game and come out with frozen mini Double-Doubles, animal style. I'd even settle for some cheeseburger flavored chips. They must make this happen!

(Thanks Danielle)

I was browsing Buzzfeed this morning and I came across this. THIS! I had to post this shit, so you could suffer with me. Although, some of you might be trying to bite the screen. You fat fucks!

Normally, I'd want to crawl inside this bacon cheese roll and eat it from the inside out, but because I'm suffering from the hangover voms, this is the last thing I need to see. When I first saw this picture, I barf burped. When I'm hungover, I can't really eat food, but I know some whores who devour tubs of grease when they have the post-drunk ills.

Why do I have to be hungover?! I would enjoy this so much more if I wasn't. I mean, it's a bacon and cheese orgy. I bet you this is what Aretha Franklin's lady jizz balls look like.

Click here to get the recipe. You better believe I'm going to make this shit when I don't feel like I want to go diarrhea through my mouth. By the way, if you have a heart attack or grease seizure after eating this, it might be worth it.

This is a Chanel purse made out of beef jerky. Brit Brit has already put in her order for a dozen and I don't blame her. Beef jerky really makes me happy in the face even though it makes others gross in the throat. Whenever I'm on a road trip, I stock up on this delicousness and there's always some H8R in the car who calls me trash for loving this shit. I don't give a fuck! I'd marry a giant mountain of trash if it had an endless supply of beef jerky, because that shit is not cheap.

This purse is beautiful in a delicious way, but carrying it around might get you into trouble. You'd have to really enunciate when asking a bitch to get your beef purse, because if you don't, they could go for your beef puss instead.

Source: Nancy Wu VIA Urlesque

This had the potential to be the perfect picture of the week, but rotten Peaches Geldof and her janky ass 15-minute husband had to ruin it. How selfish of them to slide into the picture when they could clearly see the bags of Cheetos and Del Taco deliciousness. Those things were perfect without their raggedy asses.

Pictures like this make me think of the good things California has to offer. There's a Del Taco, Jack in the Crack, Panda Express and In-N-Out in a 5-mile radius of each other. There are so many possibilities for a fine dining experience.

This shit also makes me think of how I almost died outside of a Del Taco!! It was like the year 2000 and my friends and I had just finished getting wasted at some gay club. Since none of us got lucky, we settled for the next best thing: Del Taco. As I was rolling up to the drive-thru, this van of heinous "girls" cut me off! I couldn't control what happened next. Every single curse word came flying out of my mouth: cunts, bitches, whores, sluts, skanks and (insert the rest here). Usually that puts whores in their places, but these bitches couldn't handle the truth. They got out of their van and started pounding on my beat ass Mitsubishi Mirage. The dumb skeezers starting screaming that they were going to pull my skinny ass out of the car and beat me down.

I quickly decided to temporarily file away the "cunt" word for now, because I glanced over to see that my friends had suddenly developed Narcolepsy. They were pretending to be passed out! Because I didn't have back up, I smacked my lips and then rolled up the window. I figured that if they were going to shoot me, maybe the glass could slow down the bullet and I'd be spared. Luckily, some security guard came rushing out to save me. I was soooooo close to shouting "That's right, bitches! RUN!," but figured it was best if I keep my fat mouth shut for once. Shit like this could only happen at Del Taco. Oh how I love Del Taco.

Here's Peaches and her busted snail of a husband at a Del Taco outside of L.A. yesterday and also doing gross things on their hotel balcony later in the day.

Crunk + Disorderly, one of my favorite blogs in the history of the internets, posted these amazing pictures of what's going to be my next birthday cake. I can't wait to take these pictures down to my local Food Emporium's bakery department to request that they recreate this masterpiece. I want double frosting, though.

The NSFWish pictures are after the jump. The chick holding the birthday girl's hair is a true friend. Only real friends will hold back your hair while you're sucking on cake dick. JUMP!!!

Ever since Mother's Cookie Company shut down, I've been mourning the loss of their delicious Circus Animal Cookies. Many of you felt my pain and sent me bags upon bags so that I could get my fix. I seriously have like 20 bags stuffed in my closet and freezer. I was hoping my stash would last me at least until the end of the year, but now I don't have to worry!

Kellogg Company has bought all of Mother's recipes and plan to reintroduce their cookies sometime soon. The deal will be finalized today. Hallelujah!

This means that I can open up all my bags and spread them all over the bed. I can roll around in them and kiss their frosted face without guilt, because new shipments are coming in! Unless, Kellogg commits a crime against humanity and changes the recipe. Seriously, they better not alter one thing. That recipe is GOLD. I'm going to be checking to make sure the shade of pink is perfect and the sprinkles are the exact size of the originals. If even one little thing is different, Tony the Tiger better grab his shank, because it's going to be war.

Source: CNN

Thanks Patricia