Rachel Zoe
Monday, January 7th 2008
Chupa TV
It was bound to happen. Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe has her own reality show with Bravo. Cameras will follow Chupa around as she styles stars and sucks the blood of virgins.
Chupa told Elle UK that the show isn't about her clients though. "It's dangerous for me to put myself at the forefront, but I want this TV project to educate people and answer their fashion questions. I want people to understand what I do and more about the fashion business."
The only way this show will be hot is if they show Chupa flying through the night as she searches for her prey. I personally don't give a fuck about the "style" part. If I wanted to see ugly and annoying people pick out boring clothes for ugly and annoying people I'd watch "What Not To Wear."
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Monday, October 1st 2007
Don't Mess With The Wintour!
Chupacabra Zoe infamously said, "Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I'm more influential . . . As great as it is, Vogue won't change a designer's business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week."
Well, Page Six is reporting that Chupa's agency, Magnet, has dropped her ass, because of that little comment. A source said, "They didn't want to anger Anna and Anna is more important to work with."
Chupa told Page Six that she's the one that left and she wasn't dumped.
And it starts! Anna Wintour will take everything from that Chupa. Well, almost everything. She can't take her good looks since it's obvious someone took that a long time ago.
I have faith in Chupa though. She'll pull through. Nicole Richie better keep her baby away from her though, because I can already see Chupa licking her chops!
Thursday, September 13th 2007
Chupa Is The Fashion Jeebus
Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe basically thinks she's the Messiah of Fashion. She told The New York Times Magazine that she's more influental than Vogue editor, Anna Wintour.
Chupa said, "Anna Wintour is one of my heroes, but they say I’m more influential. As great as it is, Vogue won’t change a designer’s business. But if an unknown brand is worn by a certain person in a tabloid, it will be the biggest designer within a week.”
Chupa apparently makes $6,000 a day to make girls look like old ladies.
Chupa needs some virgin blood stat, because the lack of it is making her brains turn to mush. The Wintour has probably already made a call to the gay mafia to take care of Chupa. By take care of her I mean invite her to a dinner at Outback Steakhouse, fatten her up so the fashion industry will never talk to her again!
Ewww...can you imagine a fat Chupa?
Thanks Beedbeads
Thursday, September 6th 2007
Worried About Chupa
Rachel "Chupacabara" Zoe looks sooo....beige. What's going on. Is she not getting her daily dose of virgin blood? I'd say it's botox, but that's impossible. The amount of botox it would take to fill the Grand Canyon is the same amount it would take to fill Chupa's cracks.
Luckily it's fashion week, so there's enough 12-year-old skinny model blood for Chupa to feast on.
Here's Chupa with Jacquetta Wheeler at the Marchesa show today.
Sunday, July 29th 2007
Chupa's Next Victim!!!!!
Elisabeth Hasselcrack better watch her ass! Rachel "Chupa" Zoe is coming for her unborn baby!!!!! Look at that smile on Chupa's face! If I was Hasselcrack, I'd head into the bathroom, wipe off that disgusting eye make-up and then skedaddle home with a ring of garlic around my neck!
Here's Chupa and Crack at Instyle's Super Saturday yesterday in Watermill, NY.
Tuesday, June 5th 2007
Chupacabra's Got A Man!
Holy hell! Did Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe actually snag a human male!? You know and he's not half bad either. She still belongs with Skeletor Marc Anthony, but this dude will do for now.
Chupa showed off her new piece at the CFDA Awards last night in NYC. Imagine hittin' Chupa? Her dick-sucking skills are probably bleak! I doubt she can even deep throat a Juicy Juice straw.
Thursday, May 10th 2007
There She Goes Again!
Cameron Diaz would be a lot more attractive if she shut her lips. Seriously, the producers of Shrek 3 should've kept her off the talk show circuit. Anyway, Cameron is sick of people blaming her for being so damn gorgeous.
She said, "If a woman who's a successful actress weighs 300 pounds and has warts, nobody ever asks her, 'Do you think you made it because you're ugly?' So why should there be prejudice against someone who's had some success in films and looks a little better than average. It's all in my genes, so don't hold it against me."
She needs to fix that nose job before she goes around calling herself beautiful. Has anyone seen Cameron since last night? She was spotted with Rachel Zoe and well...Rachel does feed off of the beautiful and since Cammy is so stupidly-mind-boggling-gorgeous she'd be a prime victim for Chupa!
Source: US Weekly
Friday, May 4th 2007
Twin Sisters
Nothing pleases me more than to see two long-lost twin sisters reunite! Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe and Lindsay Lohan reunited last night at the Byron Williams salon opening. Rachel is like 300-years older than Lindsay, but they seriously could pass as her older sister. Lindsay needs to fix that issue STAT.
My new favorite Bijou Phillips also showed up. Only for the open bar I'm sure. It was so nice of her pimp to let her off from working the Barstow truck-stop last night. I hear Thursday is a busy night!
Tuesday, April 24th 2007
Is Chupa Softening Her Look?
I almost didn't recognize Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe from last night's Free Arts Benefit in NYC last. I quickly realized it was her by looking into her eyes. I'd notice that hunger for virgin blood anywhere. The bangs are helping her look NOT like death.
Thursday, April 19th 2007
I've Missed You Chupa!
Look at what the cat dragged in! No seriously, I think a cat dragged that in.
It's Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe! How I missed her! She came out looking for virgin blood at last night's Room100 party at the Thompson Hotel in NYC. Doesn't she look foxy?
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