SNL

In case you missed it, here's the Twilight parody that aired on Saturday Night Live last night starring Taylor Swift and Bill Hader (who became one with RPattz's "I'm trying to take a poo through my peen hole" face)

Taylor isn't about to win an Oscar for triumphing as Lady Macbeth anytime soon, but that's why she almost nailed Kristen Stewart as Bella. Well, in order to completely perfect her impersonation of Bella, Taylor would've needed to get a lobotomy with a cardboard box, but she still mastered Kristen's lip chewing and hair tucking. For real, how is it possible that Kristen's lip doesn't look like it just finished a make-out session with piranha.

And Kanye West wasn't able to let go of his CAPS LOCK key long enough to make a cameo last night, but he did come up in Taylor's opening monologue song. Here's that shit below:

Who is Kanye West going to blame for his truly ass-cheek-clenching performance on SNL last night? This shit was first degree murder on my ear drums.

His microphone probably forged a fake passport last night after this shit, so it could flee the country this morning, because it knows Kanye is coming after it. After Kanye tracks down his mic and screams at it for a good twelve hours straight, he's going to file a multi-zillion dollar lawsuit against the Auto-Tune bitches for trying to take him down. And finally, Kanye's going to order his vocal cords into the corner for a time out, because they quit his ass several times during this song. His vocal cords could use a fucking time out, so this isn't a bad idea.

The voice of this generation kind of sounds like me with four hangovers and a sore throat (too much peen blowing) singing in the bath tub while trying hard to make a pee fountain.

That being said, I love Kanye's choice of screensaver for a backdrop! Above is Kanye performing Love Lockdown and below is him doing Heartless. I thoroughly enjoyed the Pinocchio shit!

I totally forgot SNL is doing special Thursday's episodes before the election, so I didn't get to see this shit live. I think I was watching "Survivor" instead. Well, you never know when those floppy peen-slips are going to happen. You have to be ready.

Will Ferrell and Tina Fey reunited last night as Bush and Palin. I kind of forgot how fucking funny Will's Bush is. That bitch should've done Oliver Stone's W. And Tina as Palin never gets old to me. I could watch her sexy posing skills all day long. She puts my Barbizon teachings to shame. The only thing missing is Amy Poehler as Cindy McCain. Seriously! I've been waiting for that shit. I have a half Vicodin tablet waiting to celebrate her appearance.

In case you missed that shit, the clip is above.