Rehab

After Britney Spears passed out or fell asleep (you choose) at her New Year's Eve party in Las Vegas, she reportedly checked herself into a "spa" in Arizona for a little freshening up. She checked her ass into the pricey Sanctuary on New Year's day. Some hos are whispering that Britney maybe there on her way to rehab.

A source said, “With these celebrities, ‘exhaustion’ sometimes means something else and a little rest at a spa sometimes actually translates into something a little more serious."

Her rep wouldn't comment.

Wait, so she checked herself into a spa to sleep from sleeping?! She's so exhausted from sleeping? If she was sleeping at the bar shouldn't she be refreshed? Lazy ass. Brit needs more than rehab, she needs Jesus!

Source

Miss USA, Tara Conner, has apparently been in rehab before. The National Enquirer is reporting that her ass went to rehab as a high school student when she was booted off the cheerleading squad.

A friend of Tara's said, “She’d been booted off the Russell County High cheerleading squad because she was busted for having vodka, marijuana and boys in her room at the National Cheerleading Competition in Orlando, Fla. Tara was once escorted to the principal’s office for having beer in class. She was also removed from Russell County High for being drunk in class.”

Tara also received new tits for a High School graduation present. Tara is currently getting treatment at the Caron Foundation rehab center in Pennsylvania. She is expected to stay there for one month per her agreement with Donald Trump.

I mean who really cares about this story? I just wanted an excuse to post another picture of this dumb ho trying to fake cry. She's so awful at it.

Donald Trump announced this morning that Miss USA Tara Conner will not be dethroned after allegations that she was partying hard and tested positive for coke. Tara and Donald met at the Trump Tower this morning and discussed her future with the crown.

He said, "She's agreed to go into rehab. She knows that if she makes even the slightest mistake from here on she wil be immedialtely replaced."

Rehab is honestly the answer for anything. Tara should've quit. She doesn't need that, she's going to be a big star!

UPDATE - Click here to see Tara give the performance of a lifetime as she cries and basically sucks up to Donald.

Source

Nicole Kidman reunited with her husband, Keith Urban. Keith checked into the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs, CA on October 19th to treat his alcohol abuse. Keith is apparently still seeking out-patient treatment.

The couple were spotted at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles yesterday. They celebrated with a pitcher of martinis...just kidding! I'm sure Keith had a shirley temple.

Congrats to Keith for finishing the program! Now keep off the sauce! Source

Pete Doherty has found himself in rehab again after being arrested for being caught with crack last week. He has apparently been checked into a clinic in Portugal and will have the drug naltrexone, which reduces the craving for , implanted in his abdomen at the clinic at Oeiras, an oceanside suburb of Lisbon. Petey arrived last Tuesday.

Um...they could drain his blood and give him a new brain and he'd still be a crackhead. Let's be real folks...he looks hot in a skirt though.

Source

Keith Urban had a visitor from his granny at the Betty Ford center in California. Oh that's not his granny you say? Silly me, I didn't recognize Nicole Kidman with that mop of white hair. In this case a wig is ok. Her hair is falling out and it's white! Eeek, she's like a witch. Anyway, this is the moment that the National Enquirer claims Nicole told Keith she's knocked up.

I doubt it though. Her eggs are totally dried up.

Keith Urban checked himself into rehab last night for drug issues. All promotional work for his new CD has been postponed.

He issued this statement,

"I deeply regret the hurt this has caused Nicole and the ones that love and support me,"

"One can never let ones guard down on recovery and I'm afraid that I have. With the strength and unwavering support I am blessed to have from my wife, family and friends, I am determined and resolved to a positive outcome."

Months ago rumors of Keith's cocaine problems were rampant and many thought Nicole was going to dump him because of it. I guess I would check myself into rehab to escape that botox-faced witch! Just kidding, she's fine.

Somewhere in space, Tom Cruise is loving this.

Source

Thx deltaskye