Jay-Z

Where was Quween on the Scene when you needed her, because the security at last night's VMAs was shit! A three-legged, blind chihuahua could have done a better job. Not only did Kanye West manage to crash Taylor Swift's party, but Lil' Mama did the exact same thing during Jay-Z's performance with Alicia Keys.

At the tail end of Jay-Z's performance, a sneaky troll scampered on the stage to try to get a little air time. At one point, Jay-Z tried to shoo Lil' Mama away, but she ignored the hint and instead struck a pose at the end. When did the VMAs turn into my family reunions? Bitches interrupting each other left and right!

At next year's VMAs, the producers will have to gather all the children around to let them know when someone is holding "the talking stick" (aka the mic), that means you need to sit on your hands and listen.

And who was guarding Lil Mama's bridge while she was busy screwing with Jay-Z's performance?! Maybe one of the Olsens covered her shift.

Below is Jay-Z and Alicia Keys' full performance, but skip to the 5:00 mark to watch the tranny troll try to takeover.

Jay-Z, Alien Princess RiRi of the Universe and Gay Fish joined forces for "Run This Town" and this is the video for it. Basically, it's just the three of them chanting in front of a mob of fire stick wielders in a post-apocalyptic world where wearing sunglasses you can't see through is all the rage.

The mob really doesn't need to carry weapons. Shit, they don't need to do anything! All RiRi has to do is yodel "Haaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy" over and over again and their enemies will eat each other's ears off to stop the madness. Seriously, after listening to that song once, RiRi's warbling made me want to stick a power strip in my ass and strap myself in a straitjacket.

And when can we expect a battle between "Run This Town" and Boogie Town? Yes, the mess below really is a trailer for a real movie. You decide which town you'd rather see become a site for missile testing. I'm torn.

VIA Videogum

In Vibe's September issue, Jay-Z talks about his marriage to Beyonce. Well, he talks about not wanting to talk about it. The two made it legal over three months ago, but have never officially confirmed it. Jay said he wants to keep some things to himself.

He said, "You have to have something sacred to you and the people around you. I shared so much of my life… I should have something to hold on to. I just think it's really a part of your life that you gotta keep to yourself."

You know Daddy Knowles is tearing at Solange's hairline, he's so mad over this bullshit! He's weeping like a butt virgin on his first day in prison at the thought of all the money he lost by not selling the wedding pictures! Damn you, Jay-Z! You made a grown ass pepaw cry!