Anderson Cooper

The Silver Fox pressed his shiny buttocks on the Silver Bear's chair last night to talk about holograms, boring political crap and of course..."The Real Housewives of Atlanta"!!!! Mah Boo puckers up every time that topic comes up! He once again said that NeNe is his favorite because she's the "most real" on the show. Jay showed a picture of NeNe and then teased Mah Boo for loving her fat chichis. Hit that dumb bear with some jumbo anal beads! In Jay's defense, he probably doesn't even know what gayness is. If he ever walked in on a butt fuck gay orgy, he would probably think they were just wrestling.

Mah Boo just giggled at Jay, because they were talking about boobies, and then quickly changed the subject to the mugs on the table in front of him.

Also, Mah Boo FINALLY pronounced NeNe's name right. Okay, he never took me up on my offer to teach him the correct way to say her name, so which one of you backstabbing hags gave him a private lesson. You are dead to me! I had the quiz all ready. It was perfectly written down for him....on my no-no lips.

Skip to 3:20 in the video above to see Mah Boo talk about his and my obsession. We're soulmates. Obviously. Step off!

The Silver Fox got all giggly with Ellen Degeneres when he talked about his love for "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and the show's star NeNe. After Andy declared he was a NeNe fangirl, NeNe herself got bombarded with phone calls from friends and family who watched Ellen.

NeNe said to E!'s Marc Malkin, "I told my husband, 'You know Anderson Cooper? He spoke about me.' And he said, 'Anderson Cooper? The guy with the white hair? No, he didn't!' We think it's great. We love it."

WHITE HAIR?! Is that how you would describe the pube bushes of the archangels, because that's what it looks like! Is that how you would describe the silvery carpet in God's office, because that's what it looks like too. WHITE HAIR?! Breathe....Michael...breathe.... Let's move on and forgive NeNe's husband's ignorance.

NeNe is ready to make Mah Boo's dreams come true by meeting him gorgeous face to gorgeous face. "I would just talk to him and keep it real. Let's just get down and dirty and talk about whatever. I'd wear a nice little top, since he's talking about my chest. I don't know if he's had any brown sugar."

Oh, honey, has he had brown sugar before?! He's had enough brown sugar to keep the Domino factory in business for the rest of our days. Don't worry about bothering with that little top. And if by "down and dirty" you mean "manicures and a pillow fight," then Mah Boo would totally be into keeping it real with you.

Sometimes late at night, I find myself alone in my room, expressing my inner thoughts to Mah Boo Anderson Cooper. Okay, it's not really Mah Boo. It's just some janky white fox (couldn't find silver) stuffed animal. And by "inner thoughts" I really mean.....forget it. My sister might be reading and she will never stop calling me "stuffed animal fucker." SHIT! She got me!

Anyjustkiddingnoreallyiam, last night on CNN, Mah Booh talked to a fancy hologram of Will.I.Am.

If when I said the word "hologram," you immediately thought of JEM!, then you're gay. And if you didn't know that before, then you know it now.

This hologram thing got me thinking. Instead of talking to some busted up stuffed animal I call "El Coop," do you think the smartie pants person who made that hologram can make me one of Mah Boo? The hologram only needs to be a good listener and say "You're mah boo" on command. And once this smartie pants person makes that happen, can I marry my new Andy hologram? I know I can't marry the real Mah Boo in California, but I'm sure I can get hitched to his hologram.

Mah Boo Anderson Cooper confessed his love for "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" while talking to Ellen today. This is just reason #4,568 on why Mah Boo and I should wed immediately. NeNe can be my maid of honor and Kim's wig can be our flower girl.

In the clip above (skip to 2:30), Mah Boo tells Ellen, "I like to keep abreast of the Real Housewives of Atlanta." More like apeen.

Mah Booh also doesn't understand why Ellen isn't obsessed with the raggedy peaches of Georgia. He asks her, "What have you been doing? So you don’t know anything about NeNe?" And then he goes on to purr, "Oh, honey, I don't even know where to begin with NeNe!"

Before I take my last breath and skedaddle off to inner circles of hell, I want Mah Boo to say to me, "Oh, honey! I don't even know where to begin with NeNe!" Only then will I be at peace! But he needs to learn how to pronounce NeNe's name correctly first. I'll personally teach him......while his "NeNe" is up my no-no. I don't really know what that means exactly, but it sounds sexy.

Anderson Cooper isn't fussy! Page Six spotted him getting his hair cut at a barber shop in NYC for $15.

Andy should have saved his sexy pennies. I have a Flowbee at home. I would have done it for free. And I would have thrown in a back massage....and a happy ending...and a prostate check.....and a candlelit dinner.... and a walk on the beach.... and a marriage proposal... and a.... DAMMIT! Why won't he return my 10,000 phone calls!? I just want to cut his hair! I JUST WANT TO LOVE HIM. Fuck. Excuse me, I have to go take my meds. I'm starting to get the "Aniston shakes."

And we're off! Michael Lohan, being the publicity hungry attention whore that he is, has issued his own statement to Access Hollywood regarding Anderson Cooper's comments about Ali Lohan looking like a 60-year-old. Click here to get the whole run down if you have no idea what's going on. Well, have a drink and an Oreo first.

Michael removed his head out of his loosey goosey ass (he was in prison) long enought to say, “I think Anderson Cooper is an opinionated, hypocritical idiot who should be an adult and keep his opinion to himself. He is the last person to judge anyone, when he and his own family have their own issues.” Don't worry his head went right back in after he issued this statement.

Let's see, White Oprah whores out her family on reality television and we're not allowed to have opinions about it? Michael needs to wipe the coke from the mirror and take a good look. He's probably creaming in his dad jeans at all the attention his family is getting over this shit.

Will Anderson Cooper please enlighten us with more of his bitchy words of wisdom? I await his guidance.

P.S. - Am I the only one that secretly wants to see Andy and Michael Lohan make out? Ugh. I feel so dirty and dark-sided. I need a cold shower.

The Silver Fox has once again taken out his claws and sunk them into White Oprah. It's going to take weeeeks to get the grease out of his claws. As you know, Anderson Cooper basically called Ali Lohan an alleged 14-year-old who wants to be a striptease person on "Regis & Kelly" yesterday morning.

White Oprah responded with, "People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him." Seriously, that's all she said. I feel totally ripped off.

Well, Andy has kept the fun and games going. Last night, he responded to her response. He said that White Oprah probably didn't see his comment live "because she was out clubbing and it's on early in the morning. So she was probably just rollin' home." He went on to say that he "feels bad" for Ali Lohan, but that she shouldn't be in a shitty reality show.

I just want to be put on a rubber suit and go silver diving into Andy's pubic bush. I especially love it when he giggles like a Tickle Me Elmo doll.

This is White Oprah's second chance to really come back with the statement of all statements! Or they can settle it the way I always like to settle things: CAGE FIGHT! White Oprah already comes oiled up. And I'm sure Andy already has the outfit.

VIA ONTD

Anderson Cooper filled in for Regis on "Regis & Kelly" this morning and the conversation turned to the Long Island trainwreck known as "Living Lohan."

Andy must have thought he was having cosmos with the girls, because he said, “Ali Lohan is supposed to be 14 but really she’s more like 60." What a bitch! Andy can slap me on the ass and call me 60 any day.

And do you hear that? It's the sound of White Oprah busting out of her third spray tanning session of the day and running to her computer. She's going to put those Lee Press-Ons to fucking work. Andy better shut down his inbox, because here comes one of White Oprah's long ass statements and you know that bitch asks for a return receipt.

White Oprah doesn't know who she's messing with. If that bitch fucks with MAH BOO, I will rip off Ali's annoying choker and use it to whip the bullshit out of White Oprah.

UPDATE: Here's the video of Anderson ripping into "Living Lohan." We truly need to become best girlfriends.

VIA Lainey Gossip

Thanks Debra