Balthazar Getty

Page Six is saying that Sienna Miller was out buying panties this week at Only Hearts in NYC with her ex-fuck buddy DJ Slinky Wizard. There were reports that Sienna recently left DJ Slinky's ass on the curb, because she couldn't deal with a long-distance relationship. It's true. If Sienna's genitals don't get fed every 24 hours, we all suffer.

But some source seems to think Sienna and DJ Slinky rekindled their romance, because they acted like a couple while shopping at Only Hearts. The source added, "George was talking about how he was excited about their plans for the night."

HOWEVER, Gawker claims Sienna was shopping at Only Hearts, but was with Balthazar Getty instead of DJ Slinky Wizard. Also, Sienna and Balthy were caught getting manicures together earlier this week.

So basically this is looking like Sienna's vag never let go of Balthazar's peen. Sienna was probably just using DJ Slinky Wizard to distract us all from the fact that she's still fucking on Balthazar. That cunning slut.

It's also looking like Balthazar loves polish on his nails and silk on his nalgas.

I understand if you have to excuse yourself from this post so that you can run to the nearest church where you will dip your face in holy water and fill your eye holes with crushed up communion wafers. This picture will have some of you grabbing for the cross. Moving on....

Yesterday, there were a rumor going around that LiLo and Balthazar Getty got it on a club in Hollywood. Blohan has taken that rumor, boiled it up, spread it on a flat surface, chopped it and snorted it up her nose hole! She claims it is all sorts of false. She told Gossip Cop that she only met Balthazar Getty for the first time that night. She also added, “You think I would do that to Sam [Ronson]? I love her.”

Blohan probably doesn't remember what happened 10 seconds ago, let alone what happened this past weekend, so the moment could have already been expelled from her brain. As it should have.

And how is she supposed to keep track of all the people (or things) she makes out with? I think she just sticks her tongue down any open hole from a bathroom drain to Balthazar Getty's mouth (they taste the same).

While some of you slut whores were doing ho shit over the weekend, a brand new type of venereal disease was birthed in Hollywood when Balthazar Getty and Blohan dry fucked each other at a club. Yeah, I think your genitals grew a puss-filled wart just from thinking about it. See you at the free clinic.

People says that Blohan showed up to West Hollywood club Voyeur with the still married Balthazar at her side. Some source said the two snuck in through the club's backdoor (hopefully, the backdoor was covered with a dental dam) and only stayed for 30-minutes. During that time, they were "all over each other" at a table in the front room.

Okay, before you start farting about how Blohan is licking up Sienna Miller's sloppy seconds, think about it for a minute. Sienna Miller is a cock connoisseur, so Blohan figured Balthazar must give good dick. And for her big return to the peen, Blohan wanted to make sure she got on a dick that would make her pork loaf simmer.

And if you see a weepy dick and tortured vagina hitchhiking along the highway, they belong to Balthazar and Blohan. They're trying to get away again. Put on your masks and wave to them from afar.

If you're interviewing the dick bandit known as Sienna Miller for that G.I. Joe shittery, there's only name you need to bring up and that's Balthazar Getty's. Just a whisper of his name from an interviewer will cause her wrecking ball bagina to swing around the room and destroy everything in its path! DO IT!

Adam Richard of Australia's FOX FM's radio interviewed Sienna by phone and immediately brought up Balthazar. Well, before he did that, he called them "scrags" and "bitches." Oh, Adam, let me snuggle up into your kangaroo pouch, so that I can learn a few things.

When Adam teased Sienna about Balthazar, she responded with: "Oh, piss off! You've called us scrags, bitches, knocked-up. We are not here to talk about him. But, yes, I know him and everything's good, thank you. What a scoop! Congratulations! You're really, really clever!"

And with that, Sienna's thieving snatch flew into a rage, ran off and snatched the first married peen it could find! When some hos get mad, they gorge themselves with cake and pies. Sienna gorges her vagina with wedded wang!

SCRAGS BITCHES!

VIA The Sun

Sienna Miller needs to follow Balthazar Getty's finger and get the dick out of here, because bitch has fucked up yet again! Sienna, throw yourself off that pier, ho! It's time for some tough love! I can't stand by and watch Sienna disrespect herself as one of the biggest sluts in all the land by continuing to mess with the same old soggy peen! I mean, just when I thought Sienna had finally released Balthazar's dick from her jaws of life vagina, here she is with him in Positano, Italy.

Sienna and Balthazar spent Father's Day doing gross things on a boat together. Cue Balthazar's wife: "Aw, kids. That was nice of you to make daddy breakfast for Father's Day, but unfortunately he can't eat it, because he's too busy eating his slut whore mistress' snatch in Italy."

Sienna needs to stick her vag in a bowl of ice until its fever for Balthazar goes down, because obviously it's hallucinating. I don't care if Balthazar goes all the way up her GOWL, there's more dick out there that needs to be fucked! This slut is on notice AGAIN.

Sienna Miller has finally released Balthazar Getty's peen from her Jaws of Death vagina and has moved on to new wang. AND this dick doesn't have a wedding ring attached to it!!!! I know, how is that possible really? I didn't think Sienna's vagina allowed entrance unless there was a ring on it.

The Mirror is saying that someone finally turned the hose on Sienna and Balthazar, because they are no longer bumping it. Sienna felt that there was just too much baggage there and she needed to move on. Translation: The big whore woke up, smelled the same stale jizz and realized it was time for some fresh dick.

Hoooooray! I was thisclose to writing that mega slut off, because no self-respecting tramp nibbles on the same peen for that long. Bitch's vagina was probably starting to get the zzzzzs during fucky times with Balthazar. Well, homewhore has a new piece.

Sources say the new piece is Josh Hartnett. Remember when Josh's tummy got the owies, because he had some bad water or bad coke or something? Well, Sienna Miller was right by his side "nursing" him to health. Sienna is like the Florence Nightingale of whores! A source said, “Josh and Sienna have a unique bond. They understand each other and I wouldn’t be surprised if a relationship blossomed.”

Relationship blossomed? The only thing that's going to blossom is tiny red warts on his peen. But by the time he notices his new friends, the biggest skankwhore the world has ever seen will be on to the next dick! YAY! Sienna the great big whore is back! Hide your husbands in the basement! It's fun times again!

The white zone is for immediate unloading and loading only, it's not for slut canoodling! Sienna Miller and Balthazar Getty to need unload nuts on each other or drive the fuck off! Of course, the nobody is bothering their asses!

The last time I picked a bitch up from the airport, I had to wait a quick minute for them to run out to the car from baggage claim. It was like 2 seconds. But of course, some traffic officer had to give me lip about it! Bitch even told me to get out of the car. HELL NO. Ho could've had a taser! I'm not going to knowingly walk into a situation that will most likely involve me getting fucking zapped. That's what would've happened to. He would've said some shit, I would've rolled my eyes and ZAP! Just like I'd have mini pork rinds for ass lips. If only Sienna and Balthazar got their asses tasered. The world is not fair.

And I'm trying to stick by my fellow whore with no morals, but she is making it hard by continuing to suck on that bag of dicks! I mean, can Balthazar's peen deep clean her teeth while she's sucking on it? If it can't, then the dick is not worth it. It's a sad day when a big whore gets dickmatized. Do the dick, don't let the dick do you. Stupid bitch!

A few weeks ago there was a blind item about some TV bitch getting fired but not knowing it yet. Well, it seems like that the bitch in question is Balthazar Getty. The Ausiello Files has it on good authority that the producers have quit Balthazar. Last week, they told him that they weren't going to renew his contract as a full-time ho, but they are in talks to keep him on as a recurring character. This means there's really no plans to put his ass six feet under.

A few sources told Ausiello that Balthazar getting demoted has nothing to do with the rumors that he's been acting like a fucktard on set. They said it was all about budget issues. They feel that Balthazar's character really isn't that important, so he was the one that earned a ticket to the glue factory.

Yet another reason for Sienna Miller to dump this bastard forever. The dick is stale. The bitch is still married. And he doesn't have a full-time gig anymore. Sienna is a mega slut who deserves better peen. A peen that can at least buy her a Happy Meal after fucky times. I know it's wrong, but eating a Happy Meal after sex is really enjoyable.

Dig out the chastity belt from the attic and strap it onto your husband immediately, because Sienna Miller's bulldozer vagina is back in business! Sienna told UsWeekly that she finally detached Balthazar Getty's hair peen (I'm assuming) from her snatch after only a few months together and she's single now. Single and ready to mingle...with your husband's dick.

At the Hollywood Dominoes event in London, the happy homewrecker said, "I'm single at the moment, and I'm completely happy with that. It's nice not to have a relationship that the press constantly want to scrutinize and discuss. I'm cool with being on my own."

And the slutty angels in heaven are singing "Whore-a-lujah!"

Balthazar's dick was getting stale and too complicated, so this shit was long overdue. Let the man with the cartoon villain name go back to his wife and let Sienna go back to doing what she does best: sluttin'! I'm really fucking happy to hear this, because I was starting to think that she was actually...um...dickmatized. Note to sluts of the world: The minute you get dickmatized, immediately put your genitals into rehab and cease all contact with said dick. Dickmatization + a shameless slut = DISASTER!

Below is Sienna in her "dick huntin'" dress at that Domino event on Friday night. If you put your ear to the monitor, you can actually hear her vagina crying tears of joy at the fact that it's getting new peen!

Sienna Miller was out with that piece of trash Balthazar Getty in London last night and she looked so upset. I recognize that face. It's the same face I make when I feel like my no-no hole is going to explode for whatever reason. And there's many reasons why it could. Trust.

You want to cry dry tears, but you're afraid that even the slightest movement will make you blow like a volcano, so you stand very still. Somebody tell Sienna that she just needs to sing it a Carpenters' song and pet it to sleep. I would tell her myself, but I'm still mad at that skank. When is she going to wake up and smell the hot jizz? She's had her fill with Balthazar and now it's time to move on to bigger and better dicks. And you can't convince me that Balthazar has a big one. He looks like he has short burrito dick with extra guacamole.