Big Brother

After Adam "Baller" Jasinski won $500,000 on Big Brother 9, he didn't blow the all the money on frivolous shit like food, shelter or charity. No, Adam used his brainpower and invested the prize money in pharmaceuticals. Unfortunately, his investment didn't really pay off, because his ass was arrested for trying to sell oxycodone pills on Saturday night. And unfortunately, there's no stupid ass Golden Power of Veto available to get Adam out of this shit.

MyFoxBoston reports that Adam used some of the $500,000 prize money to buy a Lohan load of oxycodone pills which he planned to sell. Adam flew into Boston on Saturday night after he made a deal with a Massachusetts man who wanted to buy 2,000 pills. Well, the man turned out to be an FBI informant who was wearing a wire. When Adam handed over the pills to the informant, the police jumped in and took "The Baller" away.

Adam was charged with possession of the bad shit with intent to distribute. Adam will have to marinate in a jail cell until his hearing on Thursday. If Adam is found guilty, he could face up to 20 years in the clink (where Big Brother is ALWAYS watching) and a $1 million fine.

None of this is really that surprising since Adam always looked like he had the withdrawal shakes on the show. Dude's eyeballs were so spazzed out that they would enter a room minutes before he did.

And hopefully, this means that the next Big Brother: All-Stars will take place in prison.

Madonna (51)
Rumer Willis (21)
Cam Gigandet (27)
Vanessa Carlton (29)
Emily Robison (37)
Donovan Leitch (42)
Steve Carell (47)
Timothy Hutton (49)
Laura Innes (50)
Angela Bassett (51)
James Cameron (55)
Kathie Lee Gifford (56)
Dee Hoty (57)
Lesley Ann Warren (63)
Julie Newmar (76)
Frank Gifford (79)

SPOILER ALERT! The dumb skanks of Big Brother haven't even been in the house for a week and they are already throwing racial slurs at each other. Yeah, I guess I should be surprised that it took them this long.

The slur came from the mouth of Braden, the model/actor/surfer/fashion icon (his words, not mine) who once flashed (NSFW) flashed his wang on an episode of Dante's Cove.

During a bitch fight today, Braden said to Kevin, "What the fuck are you? You're a Mexican from San Diego!" While Kevin (who is half black and half Asian) screamed, "I AM NOT A MEXICAN," Braden kept saying, "You're a fucking beaner. You're all beaners!"

Braden makes no sense. Why does he think "You're a Mexican from San Diego" is a major insult? For shits, I googled "Mexican from San Diego" and got a picture of a surprised turtle and a picture of delicious tacos. That looks like a compliment to me.

This reminds me of the time in junior high school when some idiotic bitch called me a "gay wetback." I had to burst her racial slur bubble by telling her that I was born here. But that didn't stop her! She had the perfect comeback: "Okay, well you're a wannabe gay wetback then and that's like way worse." And she's an authentic dumb fuck.

Braden later apologized to Kevin.

I think that CBS should do things a little differently this season. This Thursday, instead of sending someone home, the producers should release a pack of rabid boars into the house. Because it's only going to get worse.

(Thanks Colette)

Jessie Godderz from Big Brother 10 is the bodybuilder and resident twat of the house. I seriously can't stand him for the simple fact that he's fucking with Renny. Nobody messes with my Renny.

A week or so ago, a few semi-nude pictures of Jessie leaked. GaySocialite's claims that Jessie's friends leaked the pictures. They also claim that Jessie is a closeted wiener gobbler. One of their friends said, "He isn't ready for his parents, or the public, to know that he is gay. Jessie isn't actually open with his sexuality, but he doesn't hide it too well either. We just don't talk about it."

Um....the fourth thumbnail below is as gay as it gets. I'm sure Tommy Girl has already photoshopped his face into that picture. Gross.

Towleroad also made a good point. Jessie may not like chicks or other dudes, but he definitely loves himself. Seriously, he wants to make a million roid babies with himself. He's probably broken several mirrors from trying to do sex to his own reflection.

That being said, I'd hit it, but I'd have to bring my own dildo. You know he totally has roly poly peen.

The above clip is a few days old and I've been meaning to post it, but I kept forgetting. My brain was protecting me by continually blocking it out. It's a clip from Big Brother 10 featuring Ollie, the preacher's son, and April, the resident skank whore, doing sexy times under a blanket on some seating area. They are out in the open, so all the lights are turned on.

I really shouldn't call this sexy times because there's nothing sexy about it. April's foot just lays there like a dying trout. The clip reaches high-levels of grossness when April says, "You have to pull out." That piece of nastiness is around the 3:40 mark.

Ollie and April didn't stop there. They also fucked yesterday (clip below). This time they settled for the comfort of a bedroom, so the lights were turned off. Don't fret, they make the same nasty sounds. It seriously sounds like a group of raccoons feasting on hot trash and loving every second of it. My ears dry heaved towards the end of the clip when April tells Ollie, "Cum on me." BARF ON ME. This dumb bitch is totally going to get knocked up. Nothing says "dumb American slut" like getting knocked up on live television.

VIA Reality Blurred

Everyone season of Big Brother casts the same kind of whores. There's always the blonde slut, the gay dude who will probably be extremely annoying by the end of the season, the Christian who doesn't drink and the bat shit crazy lady who might stab you in your sleep. This season, the latter label goes to Renny. Renny is the beauty shop owner from New Orleans. She's like Debbie from "Queer as Folk" meets Marilu Henner meets Baby Jane. She also reminds me of my doll-collection neighbor who smells of cat piss and cloves.

She's also become the most-hated bitch in the house! During last night's episode, Renny upset Jessie, the "natural body builder," after she kept waking his ass up in the night with her serial killer clown laugh. When Jessie complained, Renny told him to "lighten up." She's right. Bitches who take roids are so touchy! Oh wait. He's all-natural. Is there such thing as herbal roids?

Anyway, Renny's days in the house are numbered. She's already up for elimination with Jessie and I'm sure he'll suck Jerry's pepaw peen to stay in the house. The ones I fall in love with are always first to go.

And here's a bonus! We're not even one week into the show and we've already got our first racial slur of the season! Last night, the gay cowboy had this to say about Libra, "That colored girl ain't controlling nothing." Big Brother 10: Still full of dumb fucks who need to stick a dick in it.