Gayelles

Mandy Rogers looks like she's crying, because she knows where that fry is going to go. NO! Ellen and Mandy aren't into that kinky, nasty shit. Ellen is just making some lesbo joke like, "Look. This is what a pee pee looks like!" Harmless, gayelle fun.

Ellen and Mandy are currently spreading their lesbo cheer all over Italy. I want to be a gayelle! They always look so happy and gayelley. But then I'd have to eat coochie..... Do you think that if I spread mayo all over coochie, it will taste like tuna salad? I like tuna salad. Actually, I don't like it anymore thanks to the image I just gave myself.

Anne Hathaway's Zach Braff look-alike ex-beard, Raffaello Follieri, was arrested for wire fraud and money laundering. Raffaello's skeezy ass is accused of telling an investor he had been named CFO of the Vatican. The AP reports that because of his Vatican connection, he was able to buy properties at a discount owned by the Catholic Church in the US.

Zach, I mean Raffaello, is due in court this morning.

Annie Hathaway is totally laughing into a warm, pile of snatch! And I'll fucking bet my prized dildo collection that his real name is something plain like Ralph Foley.

Ralph Foley has also earned a prime spot next to me on the short bus to hell for that little ungodly stunt. Dark-sided! Don't laugh! You have a spot in the back of the bus next to Don Imus and that ole' bitch is going to blow pepaw farts the entire way.

Ellen Degeneres won her 1,345th Emmy last night for hottest gayelle on TV or something like that and she used the time to talk about her upcoming wedding to Mandy Rogers aka Portia de Rossi. Does anybody know why this bitch went from Mandy Rogers to Portia de Rossi? That's like me going from Michael K to Ferrari Von Tessa.

So... Mandy showed off her huge pink diamond engagement ring on the red carpet last night. Pink diamonds? What the hell kind of gayelle is she? Her ring should be made of plaid diamonds with a band made of wood.

Ellen and Mandy also confirmed they have a wedding date all set. Ellen told People, "Planning a wedding is very stressful. It is crazy. My gardener is now invited. I can't wait to be married. I feel like it is long overdue. And I think someday people will look back on this like women not having the right to vote and segregation and anything else that seems ridiculous like we all don't have the same rights."

If her gardener is invited then Izzy better sure as hell have an invitation in the mail. Fuck, Izzy should be the maid of honor!

She's totally praying for a big, juicy chocha that won't steal money from her ass. You see, the Daily Mail reports that Annie has fired her beard man, Raffaello Follieri. That sucks, because he was a real winner.

Raffaello has been accused of embezzling money from the charity he set up with Annie. He was also arrested this year for bouncing a $215,000 check. AND...his charity is currently being investigated by the New York State Attorney General's Office.

A source said that Annie decided to dump his ass after 4 years together because she was afraid of how his shady business dealings might affect her career. The source said, "It's heartbreaking for her to dump him, and she's devastated that it's come to this, but she really didn't have a choice. His scandals were hurting her reputation."

Oh and she just couldn't get over the fact that he has a peen.

Note to Annie: Do a background check on all your beards! And stay away from Zach Braff look-alikes. They are trouble!

Here's newly single Annie at the "Get Smart" premiere in Los Angeles yesterday.

Yesterday, I posted about these two hot gayelle memaws from San Francisco that were planning to finally make it legal again after 55 years together. Well, they did it! Phyllis Lyon, 84, and Del Martin, 87, reportedly became the first gayelle couple married in the state of California at 5:01pm in San Francisco's City Hall.

Phyllis told the crowd at City Hall, "We're very happy and we're very grateful for all of you coming." Click here to see video of these hot married memaws cutting the cake.

Congrats again to these two crazy kids. You know that wheelchair was rocking all night long.

Phyllis Lyon, 84, and Del Martin, 87, plan to be among the first gay and gayelle couples to be legally married in San Francisco, CA at 5pm today. They have waited 55 years. Damn! 55 years of the same coochie? It must be true love.

When they first fell in love, they were fired from their jobs, risked being arrested and sent to electroshock therapy. They founded a social club for gayelles in San Francisco in 1955.

This will be their second time down the aisle. They married in 2004 when the mayor of San Francisco started issuing marriage licenses to gay couples. The wedding picture of them holding each other was soon seen worldwide. The Supreme Court eventually voided all the licenses and killed the fun.

The clerk's office plans to stay open late today, so Phyllis and Del might not be the first gayelle couple married in the city. They don't seem to mind. Phyllis told AP, "We get along well. And we love each other."

Congrats to these two hot gayelle memaws! At least they know what they're getting into on their sexy wedding night. I still can't believe they've been together 55 years! I hope they put some hot sauce on the chocha from time to time to keep it spicy!

HoHan was back to kissing boys on the set of her new straight-DVD movie masterpiece today. Actually, they aren't really kissing. They're just touching lips for a long period of time. That's some pilgrim shit! I hate when dumb sluts do that shit in movies and TV. I want to see open mouths and tongue! I mean, who kisses without tongue? Why bother!

At least HoHan's pecking partner was kind enough to get a lesbian haircut in order to make her feel more at home.

HoHan and SamRo hugging out it in the open....in the daylight! This means...um....this means....it means nothing really, but I like seeing these two gayelles touching. You know they both have clit boners. HoHan is totally whispering to SamRo, "I'm wearing flannel panties."

I used to think that SamRo had a face only a firecrotch gayelle could love, but now I'm starting fall for her. We can bump donuts anytime.

Here's HoHan and SamRo on the set of "Labor Pains" yesterday.

White Oprah recently said that Lindsay and Samantha Ronson were "just friends." Now she's changing her tune. White Oprah wouldn't confirm or deny the rumors to OK! Magazine. She only said, "If she's happy, I'm happy. That's all I'll say. Samantha's great. I've known her and her family for ten years." Ugh! White Oprah would be the type of bitch that says "that's all I'll say" and then keeps yapping. Don't her nasty ass gums ever get dry? She probably moisturizes them with Lindsay's skin grease.

Please, White Oprah is so full of caca. She should have told the truth and said, "I don't give a fuck who Lezzy eats as long as she keeps signing those checks."

In other Lezzy news, White Oprah confirmed that her daughter was at the hospital yesterday for "asthma" issues. Yesterday, Lindsay's rep lied and said she was just "visiting a friend" with SamRo.

White Oprah told People, "She was losing oxygen. She couldn't breathe. She was afraid to go the hospital because [the paparazzi] were gonna write about it. She was sick. If you were sick, and you're mother couldn't even take you to a hospital because paparazzi will fabricate some story, you know, it's sad. It's really sad." No, what's sad is that White Oprah would have brought reality show cameras with her.

Asthma my ass! The dildo probably got stuck. It happens.

Lindsay Lohan and her not-girlfriend, Samantha Ronson, walked the streets of NYC today with a couple of middle-aged women. They're just letting the paps know that they're here, they're queer, get used to it!

Sammy told TMZ yesterday that she's not rubbing snatches with Lindsay. Everyone keeps denying it, so maybe they are just strictly platonic? Strictly platonic friends who just happen to kiss, cuddle, hold hands and drink each other's body fluids.

Here's more pics from today along with pics of Lindsay holding a poor, defenseless fluff ball outside her hotel last night. She bought the pooch because it reminds her of Sammy's bush.