Gayelles

Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick have already denied that they are eating each other's assholes out. But a witness at The Ting Tings concert said the two are practically joined at the crack. The witness told Rush & Molloy, "They were never more than a foot apart. It was freaky. If one moved two feet to the left, so did the other." The two also ignored a bunch of flirty chicks. "They were only interested in each other," said the witness.

Only a foot apart? Ignored flirty chicks? They are total butt sisters!

These two don't make sense to me. I refuse to believe that if Ed Westwick loved the peen, he would choose a generic ghey like Chace. I know a bunch of you whores produce major panty pudding over Chace, but he's never done it for me. He would probably scream "OUCH" when getting it in the good hole. Wimp!

However, these two are both starting to look like hipster gayelles. Hmmm...

Here's Ed and Chace at the premiere of "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2" in NYC last night. Ok, that confirms it.

Gays have promise cock rings and gayelles have promise bracelets. Wait, before we get into gayelle promise bracelets, let's talk about cock rings. I know cock rings are supposed to make the dick harder and bigger for a longer period of time, but they are so fug! They make the cock look dorky. It's a total turn-off. Yes, I'd still suck a big one with a cock ring on it, but I'd roll my eyes the entire time. Annoying. Ok, rant over.

So.... Life & Style reports that HoHan and SamRo have been wearing matching red infinity lock bracelets. A source said, “The bracelets represent their relationship — they have each other on lockdown, and there’s no one else who can open up the key to their hearts." Those bracelets also look like they can double as pussy ropes. They also wear matching anchor necklaces because they are each other's anchor. GAG ME with a hard clit.

Here's HomoHan and SamRo out in NYC last night and also on the set of "Ugly Betty" yesterday afternoon.

Last month, a group of dumb dumbs from the Greek island of Lesbos filed a lawsuit against a gay group for using the word "lesbian" to describe muff divers. The islanders felt that they are the only true Lesbians, so they are the only ones who should be allowed to use the name. They also argued that using the word to describe scissor sisters insulted their identity.

A Greek court threw out the lawsuit and said the word "did not define the identity of the residents of the island, and so it could be validly used by gay groups in Greece and abroad." The court also ordered the dumb Lesbians to pay 230 Euros in court fees.

A lawyer for the Gay and Lesbian Union of Greece said, "This is a good decision for lesbians everywhere. A court in Athens could not stop people around the world from using it. It was ridiculous."

Hooray! I will celebrate this victory for lezzies everywhere by eating a fish dinner in my one flannel shirt while watching "If These Walls Could Talk 2."

Let's spend our afternoon crank calling several business in Lesbos. When they answer, we can ask, "Yeah, are you a Lesbian?" When they answer "yes," we'll start giggling like Tommy Girl getting his salad tossed.

Source

Just because HoHan is licking up SamRo's lezzy water does not mean she needs to copy her style. Leave your hat on when you're bumping bacon strips, take it off when you go out in public. At least HoHan is still dressing like one of Stevie Wonder's back-up singers. That's what I call a "finger-bangin" dress.

And did HoHan get her lips done or is that from too much munching? Cooter eatin' lips!

Here's HoRo looking like two gayelles caught in the headlights at some Sephora event last night.

So did HoHan catch SamRo's air kiss or did she just let it linger? Because if you don't catch air kisses, they will find someone to land on. Some random bitch is probably wondering why they smell like patchouli, tuna tartare and cedar chips. That's what HoHan's coochie smells like. Wait, maybe SamRo is smelling her fingers. Eau de FireLezz.

And just because HoHan is licking labia now, doesn't mean she can't shave her stems. Although, I like the way her leg hairs glimmer like a little lesbian peach in the sunlight.

Speaking of lesbian peaches, which one of you smart ass bitches sent HoHan a FRUIT basket to her set? I told you! You're supposed to send Gay Al Reynolds the FRUIT basket. HoHan gets the basket of tools and flannel!

Why is it that the siblings of celebrities almost always look like the food-stamp-version of their brother or sister? I mean, Zac Efron grew up to become such a pretty, pretty, Cover Girl princess and his younger brother....well...not so much. I would throw Paris Hilton's acid jizz at my sister if she was hotter than my ass. The few people that have said, "Oh, sorry. Your sister is hotter," have immediately been put on my "Bitches to NOT save in a fire" list.

Zac is extremely close to losing his Cover Girl tiara, because a true Cover Girl does not attend events looking like John Travolta's lubed-up butt ball. Homegirl needs to blot and powder. He's at the ESPY Awards, so he was probably trying to be all manly and shit. Lezzie, please!

The Queen of Everything and her pet lezzie, Gayelle King, are currently on vacation in Italy. The Italians around Oprah should really be on their knees, bowing down in her presence. I'm sure they will be executed later for not following the rules.

Stedman didn't come along, because the sound of Oprah and Gayelle's scissor slapping keeps him up at night and he's a total bitch if he doesn't get his 8 hours. Besides, all Oprah and Gayelle plan to do in Italy is eat, eat, eat, eat, eat and eat! And I'm not talking about food eating. Although, I'm sure there will be plenty of that too.

HoHan continued to celebrate her 42nd 22nd birfday by going to the gayest place on earth....Disneyland! Actually, the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, CA is the gayest place on earth. Disneyland is a close second.

HoHan was joined by SamRo and her much older sister Ali Lohan. Is Ali fucking wearing a choker?! I have to hand it to her. She's really committed to looking like a middle-aged, twice-divorced officer manager from the early 90s.

You know they only went on the Alice in Wonderland ride so that SamRo's little finger could fall down HoHan's fire rabbit hole. Hopefully, they also hit up the Haunted Mansion ride, because that's really the best place in Disneyland to do sexy sexy times on the down low. So I've heard.

Here's more gayelles in Wonderland on Thursday along with some pics of SamRo playing gross music for a bunch of skanks at Tao Beach in Las Vegas yesterday.

.....And I'm not talking about the hot bitch with the moobs. Hmmm...they both have moobs. I mean, the hot bitch in the polo shirt.

HoHan was on Ryan Seacrest's morning show today and was asked what she wants to accomplish this year and she answered, "Um..I just want to live a happy, healthy year and continue on the path I've been on. And...you know....be with the person that I care about and my family." Gaycrest missed an opportunity to burst into song and gaily sing , "Leeeeeeezzzz beeee friieeeeends foreeeever...." Instead, boring ass Gaycrest just went on to the next question. Click here to listen to HoHan's interview if youc are.

HoHan also celebrated her 15th annual 22nd birthday last night by having a small party at Teddy's. Her possibly special someone, SamRo, gave her a gold bracelet as a birthday gift. Gold bracelet?! Did it have a dildo attached to it? What the hell kind of gayelle gift is that?! I mean, no gift certificate to Land's End or Home Depot? No season tickets to the WBNA? No mixed-tape featuring the Indigo Girls, K.D. Lang and Ani DiFranco? For Shame! These bitches need to go to Gayelle School.

Here's some pictures of HoHan and SamRo doing lesbian-type things yesterday. I also threw in some pictures of Mark Ronson performing in London today, because it seemed like the right thing to do.

The rare and reclusive gayelle beauty known as Rojo Caliente has finally graced us with her presence! It's been much too long and I was almost going to set up camp at Home Depot, hoping to run into her one day. It's a good thing I didn't do that, because Rojo is far away in Greece. Rojo goes international! On Tuesday night, Rojo and her woman, Cynthia Nixon, showed up to some Tommy Hillfiger party in Athens.

A Dlisted birdie also spotted Rojo and Cynthia in Mykonos a few days ago. Hmmm....I know what's going on here. Rojo is returning to her native home of the Isle of Lesbos. She is going there to fight the locals and regain her crown as the Empress of All Lesbos!

You know how the locals are suing a gay group to take back their Lesbian identity? Well, they better fill all their buckets up with water, because here comes Rojo Caliente! She's going to munch them one by one and soon their genitals will be putty in her mouth. The gayelle war of the century.

Here's some pics of Rojo, Cynthia, Tommy, Tommy's ho, Hugh Jackman and Hugh's memaw wife in Athens. Cynthia looks like she stuck her finger in a light socket. Actually, she probably did stick her finger in an electric hole belonging to.........ROJO CALIENTE! It burns....