Gayelles

Over at Page Six, they are saying that Lindsay Lohan fled Brittny Gastineau's birthday party after her ex partner in pussy, Courtenay "Nay Nay" Semel, begged her to go to rehab. Maybe LiLo left for a minute to go find an extra vowel for her name so that she could fit in with the rest of them. She should've just asked Brittny if she could borrow the "E" she's not using. That way she could be Lindesay Lohan. Oh well. BUT SERIOUSLY.....

A source said that Nay Nay, who just graduated from rehab, confronted LiLo about getting help. It did not go well, and LiLo ran out of the joint in tears. The source went on to say, "Everyone was trying to keep them apart, especially since Courtenay is recently out of rehab and has pleaded with Lindsay to do the same. Everything was fine for a while, and Lindsay seemed happy, but then there was a confrontation when she came out of the bathroom, and she ran out in tears. Everyone fears she's on some kind of self-destructive collision course."

I'd probably be in tears too if I was reminded that I was once played Nay Nay's clitoris like a harmonica. And if you have no idea who Nay Nay is, GOOGLE HER, you dumb fuck!

Here's Katie Pierson of the B-52's (for the youngins who don't know) at Bette Midler's Annual Hulaween Gala in NYC last night with her partner in pussy Monica Coleman. My Google Alerts are obviously missing some Kate Pierson in their life, because I did not know she was bumping love shacks with another lady! Apparently, Kate declared herself a "late in life lesbian" a while ago. Now I can add Kate to my list of ginge gayelle bridesmaids for my wedding to Mah Boo Anderson Cooper (Don't Stop Believing).

Here's more of Kate (as Annie Oakley) and Monica (as Davy Crockett) at last night's party. I also threw in some pictures of Bette (as Lady CaCa in 10 years), Martha Stewart (as Madonna's sascrotch compete with roidy labia tentacles) with her gays and Michael Kors (as country Kim Zolciak before shaving).

Way before St. Angie was healing the world with her divine vagina and sucking the youth out of Brad Pitt, she had a "phone fling" with none other than Rosie O'Donnell. Once you've talked your genitals off of the ledge, read on......

On Howard Stern's show (via Popeater) the other day, Rosie O not only confirmed that she's no longer munching on Kelli Carpenter's carpet, but she also briefly talked about the phone time she spent with St. Angie. Rosie said, "We talked on the phone two or three times, but that was that. There was a tentative plan to have dinner that never came through. I was a little afraid of her. She's scary in a sexual kind of way."

What a missed opportunity for all of us. To think, we could have had Rosielina instead of Brangelina. Which means instead of crazed Brangaloonies terrorizing our lives, we would be dodging flannel-wearing, saw dust-farting Rosielinaloonies. And honestly, I'd rather be bitched out by a big butchie with a flat top. It kind of gives me the tingles, actually.

And for those you saying that St. Angie would never lick on Rosie's ham muffin, might I remind you of an elderly turtle named Billy Bob Thornton?

A little while ago, The National Enquirer said that Rosie O's partner in pussay, Kelli Carpenter, moved out of their home and shuffled off to Manhattan. At the time, Rosie didn't say much about the rumor. Well, now she's talking to USA Today and says the two are having problems. Doesn't it make you sad in the heart thinking about Rosie's strap-on collecting dust because Kelli isn't around to give it a little attention? That one was for Donald Trump.

When asked about the gayelle drama, Rosie O said, "We're a family. We will remain a family forever. And we are working on our issues. Kelli and I love each other very much and we are working on our issues. Those are the only words I am ever going to say. Ever. And that is something that has been agreed upon by all parties. But everything's fine and everybody's good and we're still both raising them together. We will both continue to parent them and we're friendly and everything's all right."

This sounds like the two have already split on each other's splits. I've always liked Rosie, but I'm sure living with her isn't all free giveaways, rainbows and showtunes. But hopefully, Rosie and Kelli will be back to bumping 'ginas soon so that we don't have listen to Donald Trump go on and on about this. If the Trump wins, we all lose.

The city of DC was the luckiest city in the world today for many reasons, and one of them is because Rojo Caliente and Mrs. Rojo (government name: Cynthia Nixon) were there for the National Equality March. If you are in the DC and wondering why your skin has the tingles, that is why!

At the march today, Mrs. Rojo spoke and I listened up until my ears went raw. Anyone who wakes up next to Rojo Caliente every morning, must speak the truth of truths! I co-sign every last statement twice.

And I think Mrs. Rojo said something about how she can't wait for the day she throws crumbled-up Mother's Circus Animal Cookies at the wedding of Anderson "Mah Boo" Cooper and yours truly. If you didn't hear that, it's probably because you don't have wads of delusion stuck in your ear holes like I do.

Lady GaGa (I'm being nice today) also spoke. You know how I feel about her ass, but I like this....even the Judy Garland joke. I give credit where credit is due (doo)! Yesh, I'm sippin' that shit today.

However, I will say her wig is very Kim Zolciak-ish. That wig should be ABSENT from the party.

Dame Elizabeth Taylor has a serious memawboner for her longtime friend/business partner Kathy Ireland. Ever since the new season of Dancing with the Stars started, Liz has been singing Kathy's praises on her Twitter account. You'd think she was talking about Shauna Sand.

It's just Kathy Ireland! I know she changed the face of TV with her thrilling portrayal of Brittany Maddocks on four episodes of Melrose Place, but DAMN! Here's what Dame Liz had to say about the glowingly beautiful Kathy:

I'm so excited to see Kathy Ireland on Dancing With The Stars! She is so beautiful.
1:52 PM Aug 17th from web

To watch her in movement will be a golden chance to see beauty in action and grace which is what that lady is all about.
1:54 PM Aug 17th from web

She is beauty personified because it glows from within and takes her on wing.
1:54 PM Aug 17th from web

All of you who are watching Kathy Ireland on DWTS tonight...please vote for her. The # is on the screen. She's so gorgeous, isn't she!
5:13 PM Sep 22nd from web

Saw Dancing With The Stars tonight. Didn't think the judges were fair to Kathy Ireland.
about 15 hours ago from web

Kathy was delightful, gorgeous and fit the music they chose perfectly. If they ever do a remake of The King and I she should star in it.
about 15 hours ago from web

You know Dame Elizabeth set up a calling room in her mansion and makes her main gays dial for Kathy all night. They only take breaks to rub one of Kathy Ireland's lamps from Lamps Plus for luck.

If Kathy ever gets voted out, the judges better sleep with a taser between their crotch, because Dame Elizabeth will be coming for them!

(Thanks Stormy)

On Monday morning, the sidewalk outside of SamRo's house was covered with tan grease-stained leggings, because those two had another fight which ended in HoHan's shit getting chucked out of a window. The sidewalk was also covered with alley cats carrying forks, because when SamRo threw HoHan's panties out, they thought the buffet was open for business.

The fight all started after SamRo came home from a night out with Drea De Matteo (who kind of looks like something that came out of White Oprah's snatch). The Daily Mail says that HoHan showed up at SamRo's front door, demanded to be let in and the two had another lezzie brawl of words. HoHan called her partner in pussy a "liar," which was SamRo's cue to throw all her crap out the window. HoHan had to run out and collect all her clothes before taking off.

Throwing clothes onto the street? Really, Samro? I thought her ass was smarter than that. That's not how you hurt or punish HoHan! SamRo should've just sat HoHan down and made her watch all of Labor Pains without commercials. Now that's real torture.

Yesterday was the day we were all reminded that HoHan is not a 45-year-old truck stop vagina vendor, but actually a 23-year-old girl. Twenty-three never looked so fresh and pure. Happy Birfdays, eh? HoHan took advantage of the day by dragging the object of her stalking, SamRo, to lunch in Malibu.

You know this shit was a special occasion, because they actually ate food stuff. And you know SamRo also did the eyeroll mambo while eating HoHan's chocha asada a little later. She had to. It was HoHan's BIRFDAY. You have to bust one your birthday. Just ask this trick.

There's a lot of reasons to love Marie Osmond. She's crazy. She loves wigs. She makes tranny dolls. And she sang the masterpiece Paper Roses. Well, here's a new reason to love her. Marie loves her pussy-eatin', strap-on wearin', power tool-carrying gayelle daughter! Marie's daughter, Jessica, is a lesbian and Marie is absolutely fine with that. She told Entertainment Weekly (via OK!) that her being a Mormon doesn't automatically mean that she thinks the souls of all gays and gayelles should burn in the fiery pits of hell.

Marie said, "I love my daughter! She's my baby girl, come on. So what if she's gay? She's my daughter and she's an amazing woman and a good kid. I raised her, she better be good. I think it's sad when we have to separate something from society. Whether it's, 'Oh you're Jewish,' and then it was 'Oh you're a Mormon,' or 'Oh you're gay.' I love real people. A lot of women out there have gay children. Who cares? I want love. I'm a Christian and Christ loved everybody."

And I love you, Marie! But really, I'd be sad in the heart if this bitch didn't accept gays. I mean, Marie has to be the gayest thing on this planet! Her brother is Donny Osmond for peen's sake!

Put Marie next to a unicorn. The unicorn immediately looks like the damn Marlboro Man. Put Marie next to Glamberace. Glamberace immediately looks like Chuck Norris! Put Marie next to me. Well, okay, that's a draw.

But seriously, now if only Marie can get some other hos to feel that way. If anybody can do it, Marie can (with help from her hypnotic dolls, of course). Viva Marie!

After years of denying that she likes to puff the pussay, Kelly McGillis has come out to SheWired and declared that she loves herself some sweet sweet vagina! There's always been rumors about Kelly's gayelle-ways, but she always shrugged it off. Kelly even married a dude and had two daughters. They quit their marriage in 2002.

51-year-old Kelly is now single and ready to tingle. Kelly says, "I'm done with the man thing. I did that, I need to move on in life. That's another part of being true to yourself... that's been a challenge for me personally. I think that was an ongoing process from the time I was about 12. I had a lot of things happened that convinced me that God was punishing me for being gay. That was a hard process. Life is a freaking journey, and it's about growing and changing, and coming to terms with who and what you are, and loving who and what you are."

I think the moment she truly realized she wanted snatch was when she had to pucker up to Tommy Girl's cum catcher. Anygay.....

Raise a strap-on or a power tool to Kelly McGayelle! Here's to the silver lezzie cougar finding a lovely ladaaaaay to rock. I would suggest Lindsay HoHan, but I highly doubt Kelly wants to bump a 'gina that looks like some (don't click on that NSFL) BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT.

This news also confirms that 25% of the Top Gay cast is gayer than a pineapple upside down cake. I'm looking at you GOOSE!

Image: Wireimage