Aubrey O'Day

This is some National Geographic bullshit right here! Aubrey O'Day is a walking Planet Earth movie. It looks like a big meanie snake swallowed a beautiful tranny swan! And Aubrey is just standing there, letting it all happen. Well, she probably can't see anything since there's two fucking hood rat tarantulas sitting on her eyes.

Aubrey came out at the wrong fucking time. She would have fit right in during the mid-80s. Back then we didn't give a fuck that our pop stars looked like busted drag queens who would suck a small one for a couple of Tic Tacs.

With all that being said, she's my fashion icon. Here's Aubrey at the "Traitor" premiere in NYC wearing the outfit that will be seen on the "Fashion Police" section of every tabloid magazine from here to Zimbabwe.

This kiss between raggedy cotton ball Aubrey O'Day and socialtard Lydia Hearst is about as erotic as a blow job in a rest top bathroom. Trust me, there's nothing sexy about sucking dick in a rest stop bathroom. Especially because you're asking yourself if the rancid pee smell is coming from the peen you're blowing on or the puddle beneath your knee. Okay, that's kind of hot.

ANYWAY! These two dumb bitches were outside Butter in NYC last night when they decided to start kissing for the paps. Lydia looks like she's trying to hold in the vomit and Aubrey looks like she's thinking, "Does this fake lezzie kiss make my ass look fat?"

And no, they're not gayelles. They're just following trends. Wake me when Chicken Cutlets and the Empress of Lucite start sucking face. Swoooon....

Nothing hurts me more than seeing a pair of chichis in peril. Even chichis that were paid with a Mastercard, 2 Visas, a couple of travelers checks, a Quizno's punch card and a hand job. Aubrey O'Day needs to free those plastic sacks from their slut dress prison! Actually, I think her dress wants to be freed too. It's slowly sliding down her body hoping to make it to the door without her noticing. She wouldn't notice either, because she has enough layers of bronzer and fake tanner to keep her warm.

Here's Aubrey with D. Woods, Jaslene Gonzales and other chicken heads at the J'Adore magazine party the other night. Aubrey, W. Woods and Jaslene look like an ad for TrannySurprise.com (that link is VERY NSFW).

I shouldn't hate on Aubrey O'Day, because I have at least 200 pictures of myself in the same pose. Sluts can't help it. We see a poster of a dude and we just have to act the fool on it. Aubrey is taking it to a whole new level, because that picture of Donnie Klang is on the back of a van. She probably got frekay in the back of that van earlier in the evening. No shame. I'm really starting to fall in love this raggedy cotton ball.

I'm going to give her two claps for her amazing slut 'do. You see, it keeps the hands free. I'm sure she's storing condoms, KY, Binaca and some toothpaste in there. The toothpaste adds a little zing to normal blowjobs. It's her spécialité.

Here's raggedy cotton ball outside Spotlight in NYC and also at the FiFi Awards. T-R-A-M-P!!!