Aubrey O'Day

Before you watch Aubrey O'Day's inspirational speech about her boobies and body, (NSFW) click here to see a topless picture of her at the opening night of her Las Vegas titty show yesterday. Aubrey's nipples are steaming, because the picture "leaked" and made its way around the internet. Aubrey was forced to call out from her show, because she was up all night talking to her lawyers both domestically AND internationally to get the picture off the internet. No, "talking to the lawyers" is not some new kinky sex act involving scat, Aubrey was actually on the phone with legal people. I think.

In the clip, Aubrey queefs on and on about how we should love our bodies...KUMBAYABLAHBLERBLAHBLER... Then she shows us what she looks like in her au naturale state. Yes. Whenever you need to prove a point, just show your breasts.

The truth is, I've liked Aubrey since she admitted that she was a proud member of the slut club, but I'm not sure why she's that upset about the "leaked" picture. I'm sure this is not the first time hos have made fun of her chichis. I mean, we've seen her titty balls in Playboy, on almost every street corner and in the back pages of L.A. Weekly.

Aubrey just needs to keep on sluttin' and fuck the haters. No, I mean, like she needs to literally fuck her haters. Give it to them good, keep 'em dripping for more and then never give it to them again. Giving a bitch blue balls is the best revenge.

Aubrey O'Day has already shit on the timeless masterpiece that is Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time" and now she's squatted over New Order's "Bizarre Love Triangle." And she changed the lyrics. Way to take a strap-on to a song and ass fuck it without lube.

If Bizarre Love Triangle fell on hard times, was forced to give blow jobs in truck stop bathrooms for food stamps and caught throat gonorrhea, it would sound just like this. No, that's not a compliment. Not this time anyway.

VIA I'm Not Obsessed

File this under: Ideas you come up with during Happy Time Cokey Hour should stay in Happy Time Cokey Hour.

Aubrey O'Day (the breathing foundation puff from Danity Kane) and her friend SnL decided it would be really entertaining to cover Eddie Murphy's "Party All The Time" (aka the song that makes tranny dick stand up and salute). There's so many effects on this shit that it sounds like Aubrey has a vibrator up her yes-yes hole and is singing into a fan. Aubrey, don't make Eddie take the salty nutsack out of his mouth so he can come and slap you in the teefs for messing with his masterpiece.

Seriously, why tinker with something that is already soooo perfect:

Source: Celebuzz

The overused powder puff that is Aubrey O'Day was walking through an alley in Los Angeles yesterday to go suck a cock for a half-eaten Happy Meal when a thief came out of nowhere and stole her clothes! Okay, okay, Aubrey says she was on her way to film something for the TVGuide Channel and she was carrying a bunch of clothes for the shoot. SO SHE SAYS. Aubrey tells TMZ that "someone ran behind me and stole everything I was holding."

Aubrey says that because she didn't have any clothes with her she had to wear whatever TVGuide gave her for the shoot. Uh...huh. It wasn't TVGuide was it? It was really for your Craigslist "adult services" ad and you were planning on only wearing a butt plug anyway. Nice try.

But on a serious note, why are people taking clothes away from Aubrey. Bitches always complain that she's running around nekkid all the time, so shouldn't people be GIVING her clothes? Shouldn't be there be a clothes drive just for Aubrey? The fucktardian who stole all her clothes is just encouraging her!

Aubrey O'Day, the former member of Danity Kane and current used up foundation puff, posted this picture of her suicide watch dog, Ginger, on her Twitter yesterday after the Supreme Court upheld Prop 8. Aubrey wrote: "PASS THIS ON! LOVE DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE, LOVE IS EVEN FOR PUPPIES! NO on PROP 8!"

While the post-its slapped all over Ginger's nether regions and paws say "NO on Prop 8," her eyes say "YES on euthanasia."

(Thanks Colby)

Ginger O'Day has been hiding out in Mexico, but it looks like Aubrey found her while buying the morning after pill in bulk down there. Ginger is now back on suicide watch. Keep the lines open. Aubrey dragged poor Ginger to the party to celebrate her doing ho shit in Playboy Magazine.

My no-no lips clap for Aubrey selling out her snatch, but don't bring your dog to the ho stroll! Keep the pooch and the cooch shit separate! Look at this shit in the first thumbnail below. Aubrey wants her dog to be just like her, but Ginger isn't having it. She is fine laaaadeeeee who keeps her legs shut!

Here's more pictures from last night's skank soiree. Hef looks like he's having a minor heart attack while filling up his Depends. Pepaw should not attempt to grind on the skanks. That is a dangerous game.

If Heidi Montag fell in a big tub of caca (aka Spencer's gaping a-hole), stumbled out and landed on a white chair, this is what it would look like. It's Aubrey O'Day on the cover of Playboy looking so fucking beige. Maybe this is what Heidi Klum pooped out (see below). While they were Photoshopping her tittays to look like the Mona Lisa's forehead, couldn't they splash some damn color on her.

That being said, if I had ass warts (check the free clinic for proof that I don't), they would be leaking puss tears of joy at Aubrey's slut success. Our little slutbag is growing up to be the biggest whore the world has ever seen and this is making me so proud. Playboy today, sucking dick in a dumpster for a half-eaten Egg McMuffin sandwich tomorrow! The whore's the limit.

The hooker with a heart of lube, Aubrey O'Day, has answered to the rumors that she's turned gayelle by saying she will eff basically anything that moves. Wait. Don't include Ginger the dog in that list. She's a classy lady who doesn't partake in that kind of fuckery.

Aubrey has been spotted hanging out with some snatch she's been introducing as her girlfriend. Aubrey seemed to think bitches cared about this, because she told UsWeekly, "At this point in my life, I wouldn't say one way or another what my preference is sexually. The only thing I'm looking for in life is incredible passion and honest love...no matter what options are on the table. All I really operate on is the way I feel in my heart when it comes to love."

The tape recorder must have been fucking up while she was talking, because some of these words just don't make sense coming from Aubrey. Instead of "passion" she meant "puss seizures." Instead of "honest love" she meant "sloppy facials." And the last sentence should have been, "All I really operate on is the way I feel in my vagina when it comes to mouth sex."

When Aubrey O'Day was kicked out of Danity Kant (typo, but it stays), she gave some motivational speech about how everyone thinks she's just some gutter whore and that she's sick of defending herself as a woman. It was truly touching. Well, Aubrey is showing the H8RS that she's not just some "suck a dick for a dime bag" bitch by posing for Playboy. That's right, Aubrey! When you fall off that horse, take off your top, get right back on and ride until you're raw. When life gives you two plastic titty sacks, pose for Playboy!

TMZ says that yesterday in a NYC studio, Aubrey was doing what she does best: skanking it up! The spread is reportedly being shot by Markus Klinko. A source also said that cats were somehow involved.

Duh. They had no choice. When Aubrey took off her chonies, the alley cats starting breaking windows and crawling through the ducts to get in. They thought their rotten fish Thanksgiving feast came early!

Aubrey makes me so proud. My genitals tear up at how she's overcome the odds. She continues to get sluttier and sluttier by the day and this is a truly beautiful thing.

Image: Complex.com

Out of all the shameless skanks who would wholehard-on-ly embrace Whoreoween, I thought Aubrey O'Day would be the biggest one. I figured she would come out with her titties blazing, but instead she covered up! Seriously, this is conservative for her ass.

Last night at some Hallopeen party in Las Vegas, Aubrey dressed up as a broke down Ariel who has fallen on hard times and is now whoring it out for her pimp Ursula in order to pay for her sea sponge addiction. Aubrey's suicide watch pooch, Ginger, paid homage to the crustaceans that live in her owner's snatch by dressing up as one.

You know that towards the end of the night, Aubrey went into the men's bathroom and serenaded the dudes with her own thrilling rendition of "Part of Your World": "I wanna be where the penises are.... I wanna suck, wanna suck them off good... Eating a round of that.... what do you call it? Oh - jizz! Showin' your tits, really gets you far.... My legs are open for humping, slamming... Stroking you off on my - what's that word again? Faaaaace!"