Jodie Foster

Usually when you see a crazed Mel Gibson running around the streets with a fat beaver in his hand, you can assume that there's a dozen empty Jack Daniels bottles laying around nearby with his saliva all over their tips. But this time, Mel's fisting a rabid beaver for a movie! The movie is called The Beaver and Jodie Foster is directing it as well as co-starring in it. Yes, a movie about a beaver directed by Jodie Foster and starring Mel Gibson. This whole post is like a drunken amputee whore. It just gets easier and easier.

I'm sure that beaver came from Jodie's personal collection. And notice how angry that beaver looks. Can't blame it. If Sugar Tits had his finger up your beaver, it would be snarling too.

And don't blow all your Catholic beaver jokes on this post. Shooting just started, so I'm sure there will be a zillion more pictures of Mel Gibson chasing a rabid beaver. Save up!

If Jodie Foster can't keep her vagina in her pants, who can? I know I can't. The National Enquirer claims Jodie Foster cheated on her woman of 14 years, Cydney Bernard, with movie producer Cindy Mort (above). Cindy used to bump oysters with Melanie Mayron from thirtysomething. The two crazy gals have two kids together. Jodie and Cydney are also raising two kids together.

Lesbian homewreckers exist?! I thought they were just an urban legend.

A source said, "Although she and Cydney remain under the same roof at the moment, the relationship has been shattered. They’ll continue to raise the boys together and try to keep a loving family unit despite their breakup. The love is gone."

Jodie plans to move to another one of her Hollywood Hills home and Cydney will live in another.

There's really no such thing as monogamy anymore. Lesbians are supposed to set the bar.

And how many times do you think Jodie has accidentally screamed "Cydney" while doing the scissor with Cindy? Awkward!!!!

Thanks Christine

A few months ago, Jodie Foster accepted an award and thanked her "beautiful Cydney, who sticks by me through all the rotten and the bliss." Some think this was Jodie's way of coming out and publicly acknowledging she likes to eat Cydney Bernard's tartar sauce. Well, The National Enquirer (via DM) claims their beautiful lesbian union has come to an end! Hurry! Put on an Ani DiFranco song. I need some lesbian comfort.

A source didn't say why Jodie ended her 14-year relationship with Cydney. They did say, "Jodie's break up with Cydney is shocking. She and Cydney have been together for so many years and have two children together - the potential fallout and legal wrangling from this could be monumental."

This is not supposed to happen. Lesbian couples never break up. The pyramids in Egypt will crumble, but lesbian relationships will live on for eternity. Seriously, lesbians stay together for like eons.

Hmm....who can we set Jodie up with now that she's single? She needs someone younger, sexier and more feminine. I'm thinking Clay Gayken.

Thanks Lollipop