Sarah Larson

How dare Sarah Larson show her wax face around these parts. The Robot Call Girl should be in a classroom writing "I Am A Terrible Gold Digger" over and over again on a chalkboard.

It looks like she dyed her hair a lovely shade of bullshit brown. It still doesn't hide the fact that she has failed at life! She was well on her way to becoming my newest hero and she shattered my dreams!

Anyway, Robot Call Girl hosted a party at Tao in Las Vegas on Friday night. She told People that she's loving the single life and not dating Jason Statham despite the rumors, "It's working for me. I'm staying single. I'm not dating anyone right now. I've been focusing a lot on work and things are going very well." Translation: Robot Call Girl's agency knows she fucked up, so they aren't sending her out anymore.

Here's some pics of Robot Call Girl looking like an Asian robot call girl at Tao on Friday night.

I'm offering up this close-up picture of Robot Call Girl, because I really need you to tell me that this skeezer is made of wax and artificial parts. Actually, scratch that. If this bitch was a real robot, she would have finished the job and nabbed George Clooney by getting knocked up or getting him drunk and marrying his ass. She is a failure!!!

Even though she sucks at gold digging, Sarah Larson is whoring herself out to magazines for interviews. Hello! took the bait and she did some "exclusive" interview with them. The word "exclusive" should be loosely used when it comes to that skank! I'm sorry, but I'm mad at her for not trapping The Clooney when she had the chance!

Sarah claims she's still friends with George, "We still remain friends and have kept in touch. In fact, we spoke over the phone a couple of days ago." George only called because he left his favorite dildo at her house.

The dumb bitch went on to say, "Most people know George has a great sense of humor and is an adept storyteller, but I will always miss his extraordinary dance moves." Okay, she's a robot. Humans do not talk like that.

Sarah ended by talking about all the offers coming her way, "I've had some amazing offers come in, including one modeling campaign that may bring me to England soon. I can't talk about it yet because it's not a done deal. I hope it happens because I've never been to England, and I'd love to spend some time there. If I do end up there, I could find a nice British boy. I'd be open to the idea. I hear they have a good sense of humor."

Modeling opportunity in England?! Please. This dumb dumb has been responding to her spam e-mail again, hasn't she? I'm surprised she also didn't say that she's in talks to help a Nigerian official move millions of dollars from his homeland and in return he's going to give her 25%.

And "modeling opportunity" is call girl code for "an overnight orgy."

The ink on Sarah Larson's final invoice is barely dry and George Clooney has already moved on! That's what Page Six claims anyway. A source told them that Georgie started dating some other chick months before he dumped Sarah's mannequin ass.

The source went on to say that George knew he was going to cancel Sarah's contract, but kept the relationship going, so that she could get a little more shine in the spotlight. He thought it would help her "career." Yeah, her career as America's #1 ho.

Clooney's new piece has been described as blonde and in her mid-30s. Hmmm...blonde....,,in her mid-30s? Wait! He's totally dating the woman of his dreams, Brad Pitt! I know Brad is 40-something, but in dark lighting he could pass for 30s. Angie Jolie better tell Maddox to get his guns out. It's war.

Seriously, Georgie's spokesbitch responded by saying, "How does one as public as George secretly date anyone?" He's been secretly smashing dudes for a long ass time and has pretty much gotten away with it. It ain't hard to keep secrets. That's what S&M dungeons are for!

Yes, it's this trick again! Sarah Larson visited Christian Audigier's offices yesterday to talk about a possible modeling job. And of course, she brought the paps with her. Christian gave Sarah some outfits to try on and "model" in. TyTy Baby would not approve. Sarah isn't smiling with her eyes. She's hardcore butt fucking with her eyes. I really want to trip that sofa over.

I know this ho needs to make cash now that George Clooney isn't putting money in the bank anymore, but, but can't she just shuttle off to Hustler's offices already. Better yet, homegirl needs to write a damn tell-all! I want all the greasy, shitty details of the Clooney's sex life.

Below is video of Sarah and Christian. It's a strange experience hearing her talk. I always say to myself, "She speaks?"

And so it begins! George Clooney's former call girl robot, Sarah Larson, sashayed her ass down Robertson Blvd. yesterday with the paps in tow. She even was gracious enough to stop and sign a few autographs. There is something wrong with you in the brains if you're asking for Sarah Larson's autograph. I mean, just take a piece of paper and write the word HO in big letters. It's the same thing!

Where was Phoebe Price during all of this fuckery? She needs to defend her turf!

You already know what's next for Sarah. She's so transparent! Playboy, another reality show, music album and when none of that works, sex tape! Can we just skip to the end already? And to think that I actually respected this hooker at one point! She fucked up her game!

Sarah Larson reportedly got some titty sacks put in early last month. Above is a picture of Sarah in March and then Sarah late last month. Fake chichis! A source told In Touch that Sarah's new ones could have had something to do with George Clooney breaking up with her ass.

A source said, "George really didn't want her to get the boob job. She asked George if she could do her recovery at his house and he agreed."

She probably should have realized things weren't heading in the right direction when George said, "Don't get fake titties, but do you mind having a dick installed instead?" Poor Sarah. So pretty, yet so dumb.

The source also said Sarah didn't find out about the break-up until she read it in the media. That's bullshit! Sarah can't read!

Sarah isn't letting a little break-up get her down. She's moving on to bigger and better things, "She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she's famous, she'd never go back to cocktailing."

Oh, she'll go back to "cocktailing" eventually. But now that she's a famous ho, she can up her price!

Now that Sarah Larson has lost her position as George Clooney's #1 call girl, she's been sent back to the ho factory aka Las Vegas. A friend told FoxNews that Sarah never saw it coming. Sarah isn't the shiniest dildo in the sex store, so she wouldn't see "it" coming even if "it" busted on her face.

The friend said, “She thought they were getting married. Instead, she got dumped. She’s really upset. Devastated. She’s totally heartbroken and doesn’t deserve this. It came out of nowhere. They had made all these plans.”

Sarah had her shot at trapping Clooney and she failed. Epic fail! This was an easy case. Even if they didn't do sexay times together, she should have found other ways. Sarah should have sent one of her hot gerbil friends to seduce Clooney into dumping his pepaw load into a frozen condom. Voila! Instant baby!

Wait, Richard Gere is the one into gerbils, right? Fuckity fuck! I always confuse those silver foxes.

Oh well, Sarah Larson will be showing off her mannequin vagina in Playboy before the end of the year. Believe it!

George Clooney's mannequin call girl is on her own now that he's cancelled his lease with her. Sarah Larson put on a brave face to attend the opening of Palms Place Hotel in Vegas last night. Scratch that. Her brave face is her only face. That shit don't move. It takes a skilled wax artisan a couple of hours to give the ho a different expression.

Yes, Sarah was a guest at last night's party. The ho better not get too comfortable because she'll be back to serving Jello shots in a bikini next week.

Verne Troyer and Constantine Mouralis were also at the party. Sarah better have turned up the charm to snag one of these eligible bachelors. Although, I don't know if she can handle Connie's magnet stare. That shit could melt her wax ass.

It's back to the ho factory for Sarah Larson! InTouch is reporting that George Clooney has dumped his call girl of over a year. A friend told the magazine that Sarah has moved out of his Los Angeles home.

A source close to George said, "George is relieved to be single again. He thinks Sarah is sweet and that is why it was so hard to break up with her. The truth is that they had little in common and he just doesn't want to be tied down." Oh, I'm sure Georgie loves to be tied down. Tied down, gagged and stuffed. Just not by her.

Georgie's rep only said, “I can only confirm that we have never commented on George's personal life.” And I can only confirm that Georgie's rep is a smart ass!

Sarah done fucked up! Bitch was supposed to follow my detailed instructions. All she had to do was get knocked up! Shit, she could have even lied to him and said she was carrying his child! Go out and get pregnant by the local homeless man and pass the baby off as George's. Pull some scandalous shit to secure your future!

What the hell kind of fucked up gold digger is she? I'm embarrassed for her. She gives all us shameless sluts a bad name.

Sarah Larson is addicted to "Rock of Love." I knew she was one of those classy call girls and not the trashy kind. Sarah said that when she fucked herself up in a motorcycle accident, she glued herself to marathons of the show. She even got George Clooney addicted.

She told Harper's Bazaar, "We caught ourselves rooting for someone or getting frustrated. And we were like, 'This is sad.'" Sad?! Sarah probably knows half of those twats from working the ho stroll with them. Sarah would be on Rock of Love if she wasn't licking Clooney taint.

Sarah's biggest credit is being a contestant on Fear Factor, but she said she would not have dated George if he was also a reality star. "If George had been on a reality show, I don't think I'd have talked to him. It would have been like, 'That's nice.' "I don't know. He still wants to date me, and I ate a scorpion." That's exacty why he did choose her, because if she'll put a scorpion in her mouth, she'll put anything in her mouth. Georgie totally likes it dirty. That being said, Sarah is turning out to be one of the smartest hos in Hollywood.

Here's Sarah at some event for Giorgio Armani the other night. Last year, Sarah was probably getting groped by Giorgio the bus boy at the bar she worked at and now she's clicking champagne glasses with Giorgio Armani.