Chichis

Chichi power alert!!! You might remember Toccara as the bitch who should have won America's Next Top Model 3. TyTy Baby didn't choose her, because she's jeaaaaaalous. You might also remember Toccara as the hot ass bitch who went off on the judges of Celebrity Fit Club. The bitch is back and bigger than ever. Well, her chichis are bigger than ever!

Toccara is in the new issue of Vogue Italia. You just know TyTy Baby is going to take credit for all of this. I can hear her now, "Well, I remember the time I got Toccara into Vogue...."

These pictures are hotter than a cat's pussy on an August afternoon, but where the hell are her nipples?! I assumed the bitch had huge silver dollar nippies. What the fuck happened to them? Did TyTy chew them off or something?

And is it just me or does Toccara sort of look like Alexyss K. Tylor in these pictures?

Visit Top Model Livejournal to see Toccara's full airbrushed-to-hell spread in Vogue.

Meet Busty Hearts. Busty put her serious skills on display during last night's episode of "America's Got Talent." If I was a judge, I would yell, "Show's over! Everybody go home. We've got ourselves a winner!" Unfortunately, the three hack judges didn't agree with me. I mean, what's more American than smashing beer cans with your enormous chichis? Nothing! This is the most talented person in America right now!

The government should send Busty and her chichis of mass destruction overseas to battle the terrorists. She can motorboat them to death.

Visit this YouTube account to see a bunch of videos of Busty killing shit with her chichis. I think I'm in love...

Thanks Misty

So if Skeletor is performing on stage and JLo and her Jello Jigglers are watching from the audience, who's talking care of the Dragon Tales twins? You know, because JLo and Skeletor don't have any nanny help or so they say. The DT Twins are probably back at the hotel by themselves, playing in Skeletor's coffin and crawling on JLo's gorilla fur collection.

And I must say that in this lighting, JLo actually looks....good. You can't see the 30 tons of bronzer that is usually sitting on top of her face. And the chichis......well.....they look pretty good. The back matches the front, for now.

Here's JLo and Skeletor at his show in Spain last night.

Chichiiiiiiiiiis! I could bounce on those beauties for eternity! Shit, I want to move up in there. The plumbing is probably better than my apartment and she won't even notice. Motorboating those things will end in suffocation.

Meet the ravishing beauty known as Maxi Mounds. Maxi's 36MMM chichis has won her the Guinness World Record for the largest breast implants in the world! Mmmmmmm is right!

Maxi's chichis weigh around 20 pounds each and they are still growing thanks to the "polypropylene string" treatment. Metro UK reports that in 2000, she had her implants taken out and the pockets filled with plastic string. A solution was injected to make the breasts produce fluid and inflate. The procedure has since been banned in the United States.

You know Xtina will look like this in a couple of years. Oh and remember that flat-chested bitch Sheyla Hershey? She's the FFF tittied chick from Texas that wants to beat the world's record. She needs to hang up her no-chichis and call it a day. FAIL!

Below is Maxi in action on "Cristina" a few years ago. I'm in love!!!

Somebody send the Dlisted carrier pigeon to Xtina with this message: "FIX YOUR WONKY TITS!" Her chichis are juggling themselves. She needs to see the doctor right now. That can't be normal. I also doubt baby Max enjoys his breast milk laced with silicone.

Bat Boy looks like he hasn't slept in years. Constantly having to fix the leaks in Xtina's boobies is keeping him up all night.

Halle Berry's pregnant chichis are still intact. She needs to fluff them up higher! Show off those pregnant chichis! I'm still sleepy and I like my pillows fluffed up. Anyway, Halle arrived at the Silver Rose auction yesterday in Los Angeles just six weeks after popping out baby Nahla. Halle looks hot and blah..blah..blah... Where's that gorgeous sperm donor of hers? I haven't seen his ass in a while. I guess the bitch's work is done and he's been shuttled off to the agency he came from.

It was rumored that Halle was going to bring Nahla baby to this event, but she was nowhere in sight. I'm not mad at Halle for taking her time before unveiling he baby to the world. I don't know if we're equipped to deal with her beauty yet. They haven't made UV lenses strong enough.

It was nice while it lasted. Nicole Richie's bodacious pregnant chichis are completely gone now. We barely knew each other. She's back to looking like a surf board. I just want to grab her ass, head to the beach and catch a wave.

And is this ho moonlighting as a night nurse in the maternity ward? What the fuckity fuck is she wearing? It's probably from Katherine Heigl's medical uniform collection.