Sadness

Natasha Richardson passed away at the young age of 45. Natasha never recovered after falling during a ski lesson in Montreal on Monday. Her family issued this statement today:

"Liam Neeson, his sons, and the entire family are shocked and devastated by the tragic death of their beloved Natasha. They are profoundly grateful for the support, love and prayers of everyone, and ask for privacy during this very difficult time."

I really don't know what to say, so I can only offer condolences to her family and friends. May Natasha Richardson rest in peace. She will be greatly missed.

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Earlier this month, Oprah adopted two golden cocker spaniel puppies, Ivan and Sadie, from the PAWS Shelter in Chicago. Oprah showed off her new puppies on her show shortly after she brought them home. The blonde chick with the newscaster hair is holding Ivan and Oprah's got Sadie.

Well, I have some sad puppy news, Ivan is now in heaven after he passed away over the weekend. Ivan had that evil doggy disease called PARVO. Sadie is still alive, but is very ill. Oprah has flown in a team of specialists from around the world to treat Sadie. Okay, I lied about the flying them in part, but I'm sure Oprah will not let the Parovirus fuck with her life again!

Oprah released this statement to the Chicago-Sun Times: "I'm saddened by his passing though we only had him for a weekend. I remain hopeful that Sadie will pull through."

And in related news, the PAWS Animal Shelter of Chicago disappeared in a black cloud of smoke late last night.

Friends of Natasha Richardson have told the New York Post that she is brain dead after falling in a tragic ski accident at at the Mont Tremblant resort outside of Montreal yesterday. This hasn't been confirmed by her or Liam's reps, so I'm hoping they are completely wrong.

Natasha's husband Liam Neeson rushed from a film set in Toronto to be with her. TMZ says Natasha is on her way to a hospital , possibly one in NYC, via a private jet. A medic team boarded the flight with her.

The story is not only tragic, but very bizarre. Natasha reportedly said she was fine after she fell and tumbled down the beginners slope yesterday during a ski lesson. She even laughed and joked about it. After the accident, her instructor immediately called the ski patrol. There were no visible signs of injury. They escorted Natasha back to her room. About an hour later, Natasha complained that her head hurt. An ambulance was called to the hotel and she was taken to a local hospital and later transferred to the Hôpital du Sacre-Coeur.

UPDATE: The hospital has told TMZ that Natasha isn't brain dead. They said Natasha is currently sedated and her brain is swelling. She's traveling to another hospital for treatment. I'm going to choose to believe TMZ.

Well, fuck. Natasha Richardson was involved in some fucked up ski accident in Canada. IrishCentral reports that she was taken to a hospital in Montreal and is in critical condition. A source said that Natasha suffered some kind of brain injury. It's not known whether her husband Liam Neeson was with her at the time.

Natasha is supposed to star on Broadway A Little Night Music with her mother Vanessa Redgrave sometime this year. And anybody who saw her in Cabaret knows she's a star at singing, dancing and acting.

Hopefully, if Liam is not with her, he's rushing to her now. His voice can almost soothe anything. But seriously, I hope this isn't as bad as it sounds and she fully recovers in a quick minute. Good thoughts to Natasha and her family.

This little ball of utter adorableness is now prancing around the fields in heaven after a horrific fire took his young life. Martha Stewart delivered the heart-killing news via her Twitter. Martha barely got the Chow puppy she named Gengis Khan a few months ago. According to Martha, some kind of freak propane explosion is to blame. This is what she wrote:

And then about one hour later, she Twittered this:

I swear, only fucking Martha!

But seriously, this is fucking sad. Puppies aren't supposed to go to heaven so soon. Especially not like this! The sads in every way. Rest in peace, Gengis and all the other doggies who passed away in the accident.

VIA Valleywag

Jade Goody married Jack Tweed this morning in Essex, England. Her publicist said it was a ceremony filled with tears, smiles and laughter. I wonder if it was a ceremony filled with booze, because I would've needed plenty of the hard stuff to get through it.

You may or may not be familiar with the tale of Jade Goody. For those of you that aren't, let me just bust out the story for you really quick. So....27-year-old Jade became an overnight reality star in the UK when she was on Big Brother in 2002. After she left BB, she got her own reality show and also put out a line of products and shit. In 2007, she starred in Celebrity Big Brother with her boyfriend Jack Tweedy. The caca hit the ceiling fan when Jade made some racist remarks towards housemate Shilpa Shetty. Jade later apologized and said she was disgusted with herself. A year later, Jade went on the Indian version of Big Brother called Bigg Boss. Two days into shooting, Jade learned she had Cervical Cancer while on the phone with her doctors. The whole thing was on camera, but it never aired. Jade immediately quit the show and flew back home for treatment. Earlier this month, Jade's publicist said her cancer had spread and doctors told her she only had a few weeks to a few months to live. And here we are now....

Jade decided that she wanted to get married right away and also document the last days of her life on a reality TV show. She also sold the rights to their wedding photos to OK! Magazine of hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Jade said she made that decision because she needs to make as much money as possible for her two young sons before she goes away. It might not make sense to everyone, but it makes sense to me. This is Jade's job. This is how she makes money. And instead of letting the sads completely take over, she's doing what she's got to do for her kid's futures.

Here's some pictures of Jade outside her home yesterday getting ready for the big day with her bridesmaids.

Socks, the official White House pussy during the Clinton years, has gone on to the great big q-tip in the sky at the age of 20! Socks' time was coming since he was diagnosed with cancer of the throat back in November.

After holding it down in the White House for 8 years, Socks and Bill Clinton's sex-a-tary, Betty Currie, became roommates. A family friend of Betty's told People that Socks was put to sleep this morning in Maryland, because he couldn't eat or stand anymore. Betty took him for a last walk yesterday. She plans to have him cremated.

The Clintons issued this statement:

"Socks brought much happiness to Chelsea and us over the years, and enjoyment to kids and cat lovers everywhere. We're grateful for those memories, and we especially want to thank our good friend, Betty Currie, for taking such loving care of Socks for so many years."

Now Socks is in heaven showing Buddy who is the real HPIC (head pussy in charge).

Rest in peace, Socks....

Well, this is a fucking sad shot to the heart. Mickey Rourke's beloved best friend and confidante, Loki, has passed on to the cat cookie bakery in the sky at the tender age of 18 (in human years). Mickey's rep confirmed to E! that Loki trotted off to heaven on Monday night.

When Mickey won the Golden Globe he thanked his dog friends for being the only constant love in his life. And if Mickey wins the Oscar on Sunday, I'm sure Loki will be watching from above. It's pretty fucking depressing that Loki couldn't be there with Mickey. I'm sure she had a rhinestone-covered outfit all picked out!

Rest in peace, Loki.... You will be forever missed!

Lee Redmond, the bitch who can scratch your asshole from across the room, has lost her record-breaking nails in a car crash on Tuesday in Salt Lake City, Utah. No, Lee was not driving. Bitch can't even wipe her own pussy, let alone operate a steering wheel!

Lee was thrown from the passenger seat and taken to the hospital where she was treated for serious injuries. Lee lived, but her nails did not.

According to Guinness Book of World Records, Lee hasn't cut those things since 1979. In 2008, her nails measured a total of 28 feet long. Her longest nail, on her thumb, measured 2 feet, 11 inches.

You know this bitch was screaming for her nails after the crush. She wasn't even thinking about her internal organs. This shit gives me the sads, for real. And just like that, Freddy Krueger lost his favorite jack-off material.

Seriously, your lifelong work gone like that! But at least bitch can finger bang herself now without worrying about puncturing a lung or some shit.

Maybe she can get back into Guinness by challenging Vivica A. Fox to a "hairline-off." Unless Lee's hairline jumped back into place during the car crash. That would be sad upon sad.

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Kellogg's not only hates stoners, but it also hates my childhood. It hates it so much that it destroyed it with this shit. THIS SHIT! I knew I shouldn't of trusted their asses when I found out they bought the Circus Animal Cookies recipe from Mother's and planned to put them out under the Keebler name. Those cunty Keebler Elves and Tony the Tiger are in cahoots to destroy my precious frosted creature friends.

They should have let Mother's beautiful cookies die a graceful and respectful death. That way I could always remember them happily dancing around under their purple and white circus tent with mother grinning at them. They were so happy. Now look at them! They've been molested and butchered.

They are sad, scared and, alone because of that giant purple gorilla hanging over them! It's ugly and menacing! Thank the sparkly frosting gods that I have like 40 bags left of the original shit. That makes it easy for me to give this fuckery the evil side-eye when I walk by it in the cook aisle. This is truly dark-sided.

(Thanks to Mary for the picture)