Sadness

TV legend and pepaw to all, Ed McMahon rode off to heaven this morning on a giant American Family Publishers check at the age of 86. Ed's agent told NBC in L.A. that he passed away at the Ronald Regan UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles. Ed's cause of death is not known at this time.

Well, this is fucking sad. I thought Ed was going to outlive us all! In hundreds of years, I pictured Ed still smiling with a giant check in his hand and his neck covered in gold. Who's going to hand me a giant check for a million dollars now? Who's going to tell me how much my gold is worth? The sads.

Rest in peace, Ed.... Now you will be reunited with Johnny Carson in the great big late night TV show in the sky!

Ryan O'Neal and Farrah Fawcett have never been married! I always figured they got married at one point or another. But thanks to my amazing journalistic skills (aka a 3-second search on Wikipedia), I learned that even though they were together for a million years, they never made it legal. Ryan tells Barbara Walters that they have decided to get married after all these years.

Ryan says, "I've asked her to marry me, again, and she's agreed. We will, as soon as she can, say yes. ... Maybe we can just nod her head (Ed note: He's joking...I think). I promise you, we will. ... Absolutely."

Ryan said that Farrah's condition is getting worse and she's fighting for her life. Farrah was diagnosed with cancer in 2006.

I'm giving Ryan a slight side-eye only because I'm not sure what his motives are. There's something about his little eyes. That being said, if this is what Farrah truly wants, then she should do it. It's still bittersweet.

David Carradine was found dead in his Bangkok hotel room yesterday morning and it was assumed by the media that he committed suicide. But now Thai police believe that his death was accidental, because he was found with a yellow nylon rope tied around his neck and genitals. Flashes of Michael Hutchence dance around me....

They have conducted an autopsy today, but results won't be released for at least three weeks.

Meanwhile, David's manager and family members are speaking to the press. David's manager, Chuck Binder, doesn't think he took his own life and he also doesn't believe his death was an accident. Chuck is crying foul play! Chuck told TMZ that David's hands were tied behind his back.

Chuck added that they believe something in the milk ain't clean, because the hotel has been taking their sweet time with turning evidence over to the police. The police requested to see surveillance videos of the hallways and lobby, but the hotel hasn't coughed up 'em yet. And the investigation continues....

Bill is dead! David Carradine, star of Kung Fu and Kill Bill, was found dead in his Bangkok hotel this morning at the age of 72. David was in Bangkok to shoot a movie and a maid was asked to up open his room when he did not show up on set. David's manager believes he died of natural causes. However, there are a few reports that David committed suicide. None of this has been confirmed and the police are currently investigating. The police did say that there was no sign of a fight or assault.

David's manager said, "I talked to him last week and he was in good spirits. It's just shocking."

That it is. Rest in peace, Grasshopper..... You will be missed.

UPDATE: Thai police told the BBC that the maid found David sitting in a closet with a rope around his neck and body.

Source

Millvina Dean, the youngest passenger on the Titanic and the last living survivor, died yesterday at a nursing home in Southampton, England. She was 97.

Millvina was just two-months old when she made it off the Titanic alive with her mother and brother. Her father went down with the ship, because he decided to stay behind to help rescue more passengers.

A couple of weeks after they were rescued, Millvina's family returned to England. Millvinia worked as a cartographer for the British government during World War II. In 1972, she retired from her job as in the purchasing department of a Southampton engineering firm.

Recently, Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio and James Cameron donated money to the Millvina Fund to help pay for her nursing home.

One of Millvina's friends said this about her, "She was a remarkable, sparkling lady. She knew her place in history and was always willing to share her story with others, especially children. She was the last living link to the story."

Rest in peace, Millvina.... Run into Leo's arms! He is waiting for you on the grand staircase. Your beautiful wig will go on....

Source: SF Gate

This isn't the news any of us wanted to hear... Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter Exodus died today in Phoenix. Exodus was rushed to the hospital yesterday morning after she was found with a cord from a treadmill wrapped around her neck. Exodus, who had been on life support, was pronounced dead at at 11:45 this morning.

The Phoenix Police Department issued this statement to TMZ: "I was just advised by investigators that Exodus Tyson was pronounced deceased at 11:45 AM today at the hospital. Our sympathies go out to the family."

The police believe the incident was accidental.

Mike, who had rushed from Las Vegas to be with his daughter, released his own statement before Exodus passed away: "The Tyson family would like to extend our deepest and most heartfelt thanks for all your prayers and support, and we ask that we be allowed our privacy at this difficult time."

This is just so shockingly tragic that there's really not much to say. May Exodus rest in peace....

Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter Exodus is in critical condition at a hospital in Phoenix after her throat somehow got caught on a cord hanging from a treadmill. MyFox Phoenix says that yesterday morning Exodus' 7-year-old brother found her hanging from the cord and immediately screamed for his mother. She was unresponsive at the time. Exodus' mother called 911. When they arrived, they performed CPR and then took her to the hospital.

Police are investigating, but believe it was accidental. Apparently, Exodus was playing near the treadmill while her mother was cleaning in another room. Her mother sent Exodus' brother to look for her.

Mike Tyson was not in town at the time, but he has traveled back home and is now with his daughter at the hospital.

This is not the kind of news I want to see in my Inbox on a Tuesday morning. It's not the kind of news I want to see ever. This is sad and tragic in every way. Hopefully, Exodus pulls through and fully recovers. Good thoughts to her and her family.

TMZ delivers the shitty news that the awesome Dom DeLuise passed away in his sleep last night at a hospital in Los Angeles. They don't know what the cause of death is right now. Dom was 75.

2009 is taking away our all funny legends. Fuck '09.

Dom starred in ten zillion hilarious movies including The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, The Cannonball Run, The Cannonball Run II, Blazing Saddles, History of the World, Robin Hood: Men In Tights, Spaceballs (as Pizza The Hut) and Silent Movie. Dom was also my favorite host of Candid Camera.

Thank you for a million laughs, Dom! You will be missed.

Here's some sad news that came out of nowhere. Danny Gans, a Las Vegas legend, passed away early this morning at his home in Las Vegas. TMZ says Danny was discovered by his wife at around 3 this morning. A family member called for an ambulance and told the 911 operator that Danny was having trouble breathing. When they arrived, Danny had already died. He was only 57. Danny's cause of death is unknown at this time.

If you've been to Las Vegas, then you most likely know Danny Gans. If you haven't seen his show, then you've seen his ads everywhere around Vegas. Danny has been called "The Man of Many Voices," because of his gift for performing musical impressions. Danny was headlining a show at the Encore Wynn at the time of his death. He was also in Bull Durham and played a Wayne Newton impersonator in an episode of Roseanne.

He is survived by his wife and their three children.

Why can't a lucite and crystal Pegasus swoop down from the sky and carry The Empress of Lucite off to a sparkly lucite kingdom in the sky where she will be safe from that beauty-hating monster who is always attacking her pristine face?

Earlier this month, Shauna Sand's husband, Romain Chavent, was arrested after he choked her fragile neck with his beastly hands! Shauna got away from him, but not for long. TMZ says that Romain recently bit her naturally luscious lips so hard that she popped and deflated. Shauna finally got a restraining order against him. TMZ says that in the papers The Empress of Lucite states that Romain "bit my lips as hard as he could, holding me down for 10 seconds, causing severe bleeding and cuts to my lips. He then spit the blood and skin back at me." Romain then held her down "suffocating me with his hands over my nose and mouth for 20 minutes."

How is Romain not marinating on death row?! A crime against Shauna is a crime against us all!

The Empress of Lucite should really go back to Lorenzo Lamas. He treated her like the beautiful lucite flower she is. They were the romance of their time! The stars and the moon aligned when they were in love. If they reunited, wars would end, children would stop crying and the world would be a wonderful place again.