Shia LaDOUCHE

Shia LaDouche was arrested on July 27th for DUI after a car accident in Los Angeles. It was later proven that the accident wasn't really his fault, because the other driver had caused the crash. TMZ reports that the D.A. has decided not to charge LaDouche for DUI because there's not enough evidence or some shit. Or maybe it's because he's The LaDouche and that means he is above the law!

Well, not completely above the law. LaDouche's driver's license has been suspended because he refused to a blood booze test. There will be a DMV hearing today to discuss just how long LaDouche's license will be suspended for. The minimum penalty is one year.

The D.A. also said that even though they aren't filing charges against LaDouche, they will charge the other driver for their involvement in the crash.

Let this be a lesson to you. The next time you're caught driving drunk. First, refuse the blood booze test. Second, tell them you're a LaDouche!

Shia LaDouche may lose his pinky! The pinky is my favorite finger, so I'm sad to hear about this. His pinky looks fine in the picture, but maybe it's sad on the inside. Weepy pinky.

A source on the set of the next "Transformers" movie told Star Magazine that Shia told the producers his doctors may have to cut off his left pinky due to the injuries he suffered from his drunken car accident last month.

The source also said, "It's really thrown the movie into turmoil." Why? Did they plan up-close shots of his left pinky?

That totally sucks for him. The pinky is a wonderful finger. It's also the gayest finger, which makes it the fanciest finger, which makes it the best. He'll have to drink tea with his right hand. He'll have to pinky swear with his right hand too. And it's one of the skinniest things on our body. Whenever you feel fat, just look at one of your pinkies. I love my pinkies.

Image: INFDaily.com

Shia LaDouche is still in the hospital after his drunken car crash left him with busted fingers. I'm surprised he didn't try and smoke in his hospital room bathroom. I visited my abuelita in the hospital once and some hot chola got busted for smoking a joint in her bathroom. When security asked why she was doing that, she smacked her lips together and said, "Ta. Aye! What else was I supposed to do?" Exactly.

While Shia is in there, he should also have the doctors take a scalpel to that truly fug tattoo.

Here's a few more of raggedy LaDouche outside of the hospital yesterday. He's a mess in bloody jeans and a ripped-sleeve t-shirt. It's an outfit only Kid Rock could love. The slippers are sweet, though.

I hope everyone in L.A. is okay and didn't drop any booze during or after the earthquake. Unfortunately, Wonky McValtrex or any of those other twats were not injured. We'll get 'em next time!

Anydrunky, it is Shia LaDouche's lucky day. Although, I'm not sure I should use the word "lucky." It was determined that he wasn't at fault for the car accident on Sunday morning. The Sheriff's office said that the other driver ran a red light and will be cited.

Shia was arrested on misdemeanor DUI charges, but he hasn't been arraigned yet.

I'm sure Shia is going to celebrate the only way a douche knows how........with whiskey shots!

Source

Shia LaDouche is on the cover of Details' September issue and he talks about his issues with booze. Shia talked to the magazine before he was busted for DUI.

Shia said that before he was arrested for being a drunken fool at Walgreens in Chicago, he used to regularly smoke and drink with his daddy, a former heroin junkie who lives in Shia's garage. He said, "We would drink together and smoke together, and it's just a bad deal. It's not something that is conducive to being a role model—no iconic actors that I know of have problems like that. And I don't know how to do it like a gentleman. I don't know how to have one drink."

I think most iconic actors are pretty fucked up, but Shia is not even close to being an icon. And it's kind of easy to have just one drink. Just make it a really BIG one. Super size that shit!

Shia also talked about the Walgreens incident, "It was two hotheads. One completely in the wrong, one who wasn't enjoying his job that night, going at it about minuscule bullshit." No, hobag. It was all you. You being a drunk tampon.

It's time for Shia to check into a lovely, little place called....REHAB!

The parents of celebrity twats are usually way hotter than their children. Shayna LaDouche is the real star of the family. She should be the one in Transformers and Indiana Jones instead of her bitch ass of a son.

According to Wiki, Shayna is a hippy who used to sell brooches and shit in Echo Park, CA. Shia better be treating this woman like the precious diamond she is. I'm being serious. Seriously, I'm serious. SERIOUSLY.

Shayna went to visit her douche son in the hospital yesterday. She told reporters that "he's doing fine."

I also love that she carries ten million keys, a dozen key chain finders and a few pagers on one chain. My mom's key chain looks like that. For some reason, I always feel safe with someone who sounds like Santa's reindeers when they're walking.

The chick who was in the car with Shia LaDouche during his drunken car crash has been identified as Australian actress Isabel Lucas. Isabel is currently shooting "Transformers 2" with Shia. She's also doing sexy times with Adrian Grenier. You know what this means? Curly-haired dick bag fight! And yes, Shia has curly hair. Click here to see this extra sexy picture of him working those curly locks.

Isabel wasn't seriously injured when Shia's Ford F-150 flipped over after he made an illegal left turn and got broadsided. Shia fucked up his left hand and it required surgery. He's also taking one month off to recover.

According to UsWeekly, LaDouche partied at the Troubadour before the crash. Some nosy bitch claimed he kept doing shots of whiskey. The nosy bitch went on to say, "He was dancing around and acting really crazy. He stayed until the band was done and then stumbled out of the club by himself."

He left by himself? So he must have picked up Isabel on his way home. Boo-tay call!

The NYDN reports that Adrian isn't happy that his girlfriend was out with LaDouche at 3 in the morning. He has nothing to worry about. They were just going to run lines at his house. And by "run lines" I mean LaDouche was going to snort coke off her snatch.

The mega dick bag known as Shia LaDouche was arrested on suspicion of felony DUI this morning in Hollywood. This wasn't just your regular DUI either. This dumb douche could have killed someone.

According to TMZ, Shia made an illegal left turn in front of a car at the intersection of La Brea and Fountain. This caused the other car to hit Shia at which point his car rolled. Or as Brit Brit would say "roled." Apparently, Shia was clearly drunk at the scene.

The victim and Shia were both taken to the hospital. Shia seriously injured his hand and will need surgery. Hopefully, he didn't fuck up his jack off hand. Actually, it doesn't matter. He's not going to need his jack off hand in jail.

Shia's passenger suffered a minor head injury. The victim is currently being treated for minor injuries as well. Right now, the police are deciding whether or not to book him on felony DUI or misdemeanor DUI. Either way, he should be charged with being a first class FUCKTARD.

Shia was arrested last year for being a drunken mess at a Walgreen's in Chicago. So Shia getting a DUI isn't much of a surprise.

The thing is, I am trying to like Shia, but he's letting the gene known as "doucheness" take over.

UPDATE: Shia is one lucky douche. TMZ reports that he won't be charged with felony DUI, but he will be charged with misdemeanor DUI. He's currently in surgery having his left hand fixed. His female passenger and the male victim had minor injuries including bruises and shit.

Shia LaDouche is oh-so-sorry about a video of him using the word "faggot" that made the internet rounds yesterday. The video has been yanked off YouTube, but you can click here to see it. It's just a couple of drunk tools being drunk tools.

Shia's rep told E! News, “The videotape that is currently being circulated is several years old and captures Shia playing a game among friends in which he uses a derogatory word toward a friend. He regrets having used the word in any capacity and is very embarrassed that this footage is being seen by anyone.”

Not good enough! He needs to put on that cow costume, get on his knees and mooooo for forgiveness!

You know Isaiah Washington is sitting back and thinking, "Oh, so the cunt from Transformers uses the word and it's all fine and dandy?" And yes Isaiah totally uses the word "dandy."

When I get together with my friends, we usually do each other's nails, drink Bartles & Jaymes and make friendship bracelets. Straight douchetards like Shia LaBeouf do things a little differently. They get hammered on Bud, call each other "faggot" and dare their "dawg" to bitch slap them.

Shia using the word "faggot" doesn't bother me as much as that puny bitch slap. Alexis Carrington could deliver a better slap. If you get the opportunity to slap a douche, make it count.

VIA ONTD