Please take this quick moment from reading a bunch of dumb shit you don't care about on Dlisted to examine this very important clip of Suzanne Somers on HSN from Break.com. Is she wearing flesh-colored panties or is that her bare cougar pussy? I would think a woman of her age would have a fluffier cougar chocha. Although, I think my mommy might.........I need to stop myself. Not today.
Suzanne's memaw cooch looks kind of mangy, like it could use a flea dip. What am I saying?! I'm talking about the legend known as Suzanne Somers! I have spent many a drunken night, sitting on my sofa and watching hours of her menopausal rants on HSN. I owe her my life! I'd give her memaw cooch a tongue lashing if I had the chance. I know, it's too early for this fuckery. I sowwy.
Why in pedo hell is Miley Cyrus the famous bitch in the family when her granny is the one with all the looks, glamour and sex appeal? That bitch is fucking gorgeous.
She also looks like she can skin the fuck out of a possum and make sweet tea sent from heaven. Seriously, memaws always make the best sweet tea. And you know Memaw Cyrus is head bitch at Palais Royal where she works the morning shift as lead cashier.
Less Miley and more Memaw Cyrus!
Here's some more pictures of annoying ass Miley filming the "Hannah Montana" movie in Los Angeles with Vanessa Williams. Oh Vanessa! Do you need a paycheck this bad?
Yesterday, I posted about these two hot gayelle memaws from San Francisco that were planning to finally make it legal again after 55 years together. Well, they did it! Phyllis Lyon, 84, and Del Martin, 87, reportedly became the first gayelle couple married in the state of California at 5:01pm in San Francisco's City Hall.
Phyllis told the crowd at City Hall, "We're very happy and we're very grateful for all of you coming." Click here to see video of these hot married memaws cutting the cake.
Congrats again to these two crazy kids. You know that wheelchair was rocking all night long.
Kim Cattrall will flash her memaw flaps for another series on HBO. Emmy from "Mannequin" will star in "Sensitive Skin," a comedy about a NYC wife and mother who rediscovers her sexuality. Samantha Jones, take two. Will Kim just start making Skinemax movies already? Shannon Tweed needs a successor.
"Sensitive Skin," is an adaptation of a British comedy series with the same name. The show ran for two seasons on BBC Two and starred Joanna Lumley. Fuck Kim! They should have gotten Joanna to do this shit again.
The granny is back in her panties! Madonna has a new video out for "Give It 2 Me." The beginning looks like an ad for American Apparel's new senior citizens collection. The rest of the video is just Madonna dancing around and thrusting her memaw crotch. You know, any video with Pharrell in it can't be that horrific.
If this shit gets pulled (which it will and I'm too lazy to babysit), click here for more.
Madonna performed a 32-minute set at NYC's Roseland last night for free! Well, it wasn't totally free, because some people waited over 60 hours to get in. WTF! I wouldn't even wait 60 hours in line to see a Pete Doherty and Amy Wino crack-off! Ok, I totally would.
Anyway, during her set, Madge told the audience, “All you people I saw sleeping in the street last night, this song is for you.” She went on to say, "And don't forget to waste your hard earned cash on all my products, because I really need to buy a 4th home in London. CHEERIO!" Ok, she didn't say the last part.
Madge was joined on stage by Douche Timberlake and two tampons bumped vaginas to that hideous song of theirs. Seriously, can that song be put down already?
At least Madge kept her hands and crotch covered. That's all that I ask. Yes, it looks like her performance had its fair share of memaw crotch thrusts, but that's ok. Madonna is the new Sally O'Malley. She's 50 (almost)!!!!
Madonna is leading the revolution of women over 45 spreading their crotches in photo shoots. Julianne Moore joined the revolution by letting out her crotch for the cover of May's Vogue Paris.
Julianne Moore could spread her ass cheeks and I would still be all over it. This woman can do no wrong. Although, I see a little copper wire popping out of her panties. Joooking.
She has a look on her face that is telling me she needs to push a queef out. Release it! The panties can take it. Even if they can't take it, a little strawberry panty pudding never hurt anyone.