Memaw Crotch

Pamela Anderson debuted her new "fashion line" with Chris Crocker Richie Rich in New Zealand, and here's a few more pictures from the show.

Even Richie Rich passed the dick out when Pamela "accidentally" dropped her whore cloth revealing her overworked 500,000-mile nalgas. In the words of my favorite crackhead from Atlanta Frankie: This was a MAN DOWN CODE 10 situation!

Don't ask me what the hell kind of raggedy ass fashion line this is, because I don't see any clothes. Maybe Pamela is trying to tap into the low-budget hooker demographic. I mean, they do need something to sort-of cover up their tittays for when they are running away from the police after getting caught sexing up a trick in the back of a pick-up. This will do it.

Kim Cattrall, Mrs. Rojo Caliente, SJP and Kristin Davis reunited for today on the NYC set of Sex in the City 2: Why Isn't Rojo In This Shit Already?!.

As much as I love seeing these bitches slowly killing their feet by wearing heels even Satan would hiss at, Rojo Caliente Time is long overdue! Sigh. I'll just keep hoping that Rojo makes a cameo in the movie as an all grown-up Brady in a dream sequence.

And I'm also hoping that in the sequel, Kim Cattrall finds out that she is actually a mannequin who used to be an ancient Egyptian. The SATC sequel obviously needs some Meshach Taylor.

UPDATE: YES, the drought is over! Rojo Caliente was spotted on the set of SATC today. Maybe my dream of her as Brody is about to come true! Now, I can quick trolling the Home Depot in Chelsea to get a glimpse of the reclusive ginge rainbow. I got my fix...for now. (Thanks Shayna for the tip!)

While all of our asses get older, Charo never ever ages. Seriously, Charo's 58-year-old hot ass has looked exactly the same since I was drinking my whiskey out of a sippy cup. When we're all dead, Charo will still be poppin' that pussay all over the planet! Charo's thrust makes the world go 'round. Maybe the secret is in her magical cuchi cuchi? You interpret that anyway you want to.

So, during the MDA Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon this past weekend, Charo showed up Alien Princess RiRi with a cover of "Please Don't Stop The Music." This is how it's really done. Charo can kick, stretch, and KICK! Charo dances like my abuelita after one too many Coronas. YES!

And just so you know, Charo's abuelita nipples sang back-up on this shit. Yes, she is that talented.

Source (Thanks Dan)

Oh, shit! I thought this was a picture of a broken down Ruth Bader Ginsberg making a Strawberry Hill run. No, this is Steven Tyler with actor Chuck Slavin at Pembroke Center Liquors in Massachusetts on Saturday. I CAN'T!

Steven Tyler recently fucked up his bones when he fell of the stage, so I knew he was in a bad way, but DAMN DAMN DAMN! This is serious. Why does Steven look like he wants to give me an apple? Dopey, save me!

Here's a little video of Steven at the liquor store. Steven is a recovering alkie, but I don't think he was buying any of the sweet nectar. By the looks of him, he just wanted to pick up a bag of Brach's caramels and some Geritol.

Image VIA Boston.com

A great memaw was driving to Austin, Texas to buy some Werther's, Metamucil and Icy Hot when she was pulled over for speeding. Officer Christopher Beize told 72-year-old Kathryn Winkfein that he was going to write her a ticket for going 60 in a 45mph construction zone. Kathryn wasn't about to roll over and play the sweet grandmother role. No, Kathryn refused to sign the ticket. That's when Officer Beize threatened to arrest her old ass if she didn't cooperate. Officer Beize should know that you don't fuck with a memaw, because bitches don't play!

Memaw Kat got out of her truck to give Officer B a big slice of FUCK OFF PIE. Memaw Kat eventually agreed to sign it and tried to wrestle Officer B's ticket book out of his hands.

And Memaw Kat should know that you don't fuck with a police officer, because they carry taser guns. That's exactly what happened next. Officer B tasered Memaw Kat! How are you going to do that to a memaw?! Officer B is lucky Kat's heart didn't jump out of her prune hole and run away!

In his report, Officer B said he had no choice but to taser Memaw Kat. He said she was trying to push him into traffic and if he didn't subdue her, she would've hurt him or herself.

After paramedics arrived and changed Memaw Kat's Depends, she was arrested for resisting arrest. If convicted, she could face up to a year in jail and a $4,000 fine.

Officer B should get his taser gun taken away! This is wrong on so many levels. First of all, he didn't need to fry the granny! He could have just given her a caramel square to calm her down a bit. Second of all, I think by tasering Memaw Kat he made her eyebrows jump up a couple of inches! Messing up a ho's eyebrows is the biggest crime of all.

And I'd also like to congratulate Kathryn Winkfein for becoming an official member of Latarian Milton's Hood Rat Stuff Gang.

(Thanks Kismet)

Marty Ingles needs to stop! He's running around telling Page Six that his 75-year-old wife, Shirley Jones, might bare her partridges and prunes in Playboy! Marty, who may or might not have the seniles, said, "She's still drop-dead gorgeous, and at the age of 75, a natural beauty. I'm her husband, and I think it would be sensational. Mature women are relevant."

If Shirley decides to pose in Playboy, she'd be the oldest piece to ever get nekkid in the magazine.

Marty is not right for trying to whore Shirley out to Playboy! Shirley should be making oatmeal cookies for her grandkids, not spreading hers in a magazine! And she'll always be more relevant than 99% of the young twats in Hollywood.

If anybody in that family should be getting all their panties off for a magazine, it should be Marty. You know you want to see his shriveled worm in all its glory. Come on get happy (without Viagra), Marty!

Over the weekend at David Foster's concert in Las Vegas, 62-year-old Cher squeezed her vag into a version of her "Turn Back Time" ho outfit from 1992. Ole' girl shimmed her crotch like a pre-op tranny working for his last layaway payment on a sex change surgery. I say, if dignity is not for you and you don't have the inconties, go ahead and bust it.

With all those rhinestones on her body and face, she looks like she was on the receiving end of a Glamberace jizz shot. You know he cums sparklies.

And because my mind is permanently lying in the gutter, do you think Cher Seal-A-Meal-ed her vagina like she did her face?

It's officially official. The Vagisil will be a-flowin' and the Estroven will be a-poppin' for the sequel to that movie about parched pussies trolling around in NYC. Michael Patrick King confirmed it all to E!'s Marc Malkin (via People), "I'm very excited to work with these amazing actresses again and would love to give everyone more information about the sequel...but I'm busy with my 'Sex' life."

Everyone will be back for more menopausal hijinks and shooting is expected to start this Summer with the vagina-exploding madness hitting theaters in 2010.

At this point, they should just replace all of them with Charlotte Rae, Bea Arthur, Sally Struthers and Katherine Helmond. They will work for confederate dollars and be a million times more entertaining. Not to mention sexier. Well, they can keep Mrs. Rojo Caliente. Power tools don't come cheap and Rojo can't live without hers!

Seriously, are these bitches going to wear Patricia Field designed diapers and sip their Metamuciltinis through a straw or a damn no-drip cup?! They might as well just call this shit Golden Girls: The Movie, because that's what they are becoming. But without the magic and cheesecake.

P.S. - I used this old ass picture from 1996, because this is how I'd like to remember Cynthia Nixon forever. I bet you her hair in that picture is what Rojo Caliente's oyster shrub looks like. Swooooon.

This didn't come from the My Little Pony's mouth, but UsWeekly swears on Heidi and Spencer's rotten vaginas (they love them so) that the Sex and the City sequel is a go. They might as well call that shit Sex But Only With The Use Of Vagisil In The Retirement Community.

Some source said the contracts aren't signed yet, but everyone has agreed. Another source claims the 4 hos are getting a lot more money than they did the first time around. Warner Bros. wouldn't comment on this shit.

I will co-sign this shit in my own blood if they do the right thing and base the sequel around Rojo Caliente. They don't even have to do much. They can just show 2 hours of Rojo in a wife beater, cargo jeans and a tool belt drilling a piece of big wood or something. Swoooon. Those 3 hags and Cynthia Nixon can make cameos every few minutes. One can oil up Rojo's arms, two can brush her ginge bush and another can have Rojo flex for her. They can call it Gingy Bull Dyke in the Home Depot. Movie of the decade!

Ten gazillion outtakes from Vadge's Hardy Candy album photo shoot have leaked and I understand why none of these made the final cut. What braintard came up with the idea to make Vadge look like a slutty memaw wearing a granny thong inside a loony bin? And Vadge just can't put her velicicrotch away, but at least she took an electric chicken plucker to (NSFW) that shit.

You know what I love most about these pictures? The fact that they haven't been touched by a Photoshop tool! That way you can see the authentic look of desperation on her face and every mutant vein bulging out. These pictures really just make me want to hand Vadge a big bowl of caramel squares and tell her that getting old is okay and can be fun. I mean, soon she'll get a discount at the movie theaters! Becoming a memaw has its perks.

Below are more pictures that will make you want to sleep with the lights on tonight. And if you still haven't had enough, Hard Candy has many more with this came from. Oh and beware, there's a granny nip in one of these pictures. I also added some previews of Vadge with Jesus in W Magazine. Seriously, thank the gods for Photoshop. Thank them indeed.