Suri Suri

Tommy Girl dragged the whole clan out yesterday to see his man, David Beckham, play that sport where they kick a ball around. Tommy wants to be that ball soooo bad. It was nice of Tommy to let Isabella and Connor out of their alien cages. He made them come to the game or else they would have to spend 6-months at Scientology camp. They are still having nightmares over the last time they were there.

Katie's hair is looking more and more "Stepford Wifey" each day. One day she's going to show up wearing and apron and carrying a fresh baked apple pie. They creep me the fuck out! These pictures look like stills from "The Others."

Tommy Cruise never lets go of Katie. NEVER. He's either grasping her hand or holding her back. The bitch cannot keep his hands off of her. He might as well put a leash on her. Better yet, install LoJack in her ass. If Katie wasn't a robot, she would probably tell him to step the fuck off.

The twin aliens went to see "The Country Girl" on Broadway last night. Please. You know Tommy Girl really wanted to go see Xanadu. He totally knows all the steps and songs. I know I do. Well, I'm gay. We know these things.

Here's also some pics of TomKat with Suri boarding a helicopter earlier today. If Tommy wasn't busy trying to keep Katie from running away, he'd notice that Suri isn't wearing shoes. The precious robot is cold! Put some Uggs on those feetsies. Damn.

Suri and those two creepy aliens were in NYC today. I should stalk their asses and throw water on Katie to see if she malfunctions.

Did Suri get into Tommy Girl's Miss Clairol stash, because homegirl's hair looks lighter. I know it's the thing in Hollywood to go lighter, but the girl is 2. She should at least wait until she's 3! What's next? A titty job?

I'm sure it's natural. Suri keeps it real. Seriously, she probably just walked in on Tommy Girl doing Xenu knows what and her hair went light from the shock of it all.

And someone should really check Suri into Promises for her barley water addiction. It's getting a little out of hand. We're going to find her roaming the farms and fields jonesing for a barley fix.

Maddox and Suri are finally together thanks to Photoshop and Radar Magazine. Actually, I think they used MSPaint, because clearly this was a quick "copy and paste" job. And Suri would never wear that shit! She only wears couture fashions straight off the runways of Paris!

Shiloh is pissed that Maddox made the cover and she didn't. Maddox is going to pay for this.

Source: Cover Awards VIA ONTD

Suri Cruise celebrated her second year alive with an alien themed Birthday party yesterday. It wasn't really "alien themed," but there were tons of Scientologists there, so it's the same thing. I see that Tommy Girl wore his special platform white sneakers for this occasion. You know he got those at Lady Footlocker.

Tommy also brought Connor and Isabel out of hiding to attend the Birthday party. Nicole Kidman couldn't make it, because she doesn't give a shit.

How much do you want to make a bet that Tommy is going to try and pass off Suri's little doll as his next child. They are made from the same parts. Could be believable.