PLEASE do not disfigure Richard Simmons, EVER. Who could do such a thing? In this video from TMZ, some Asian guy (okay, stop with the Asian driving jokes) did just that, and watch how Richard handles his flattened foot situation. Too cute.
Richard Simmons is the hot slut of this and every generation, okay??? RECOGNIZE, step off (his foot, no seriously, step off), and give a little love to the man who believes that fitness is fun while the rest of us just go "meh" and scratch at our hairy FUPAS.
I can't believe I'm blogging about a child (read: slow news day), but this story was so cute I couldn't resist. Borrowing from a story that Celebitchy borrowed from In Touch Weekly, the rumor is that Shiloh Jolie-Pitt wants to change her name to "Shax" to be more like her brothers who all have the cool X end to their names. Between her Montenegro style and this latest revelation, I think it's safe to say that Shiloh is not much of a girly-girl.
Quoted from In Touch: "What’s in a name? A lot, if you’re 5-year-old Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. The famous tomboy – who prefers to play rough with her older brothers than play dolls with her sisters – has taken her gamine ways to new extremes, asking her parents, Brad Pitt and Angelina, to call her Shax.
Why Shax? She wants to be just like her brothers, Maddox, Pax and Knox, whose names all end in the letter “X”. A childhood friend of Shiloh’s mom isn’t one bit surprised.
“Angelina was also a tomboy,” the friend tells In Touch. “She changed her name to Vince when she was the same age.”
Vince? Okay I'm just going to choke that down and focus on Shiloh here since she's much more interesting. I can relate to her, since I had three brothers, and I would rather climb a tree than dress up my Barbie, although I did enjoy undressing her and Ken and forcing them to do unspeakable things in the Barbie van. Memories. Anyway, I turned out fine (SHUT IT) and I'm sure little Shax will too. Even if her new name means broken down ghetto ass houses, like the one I live in. Get your tomboy on Shax Pitt-Jolie!
In Touch Weekly
Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a giant joint floating down from heaven with Bob Marley riding on top of it. Breathe it in and hold it! Bob Marley is here to gently touch the fool who said Spencer Twatt is the "King of Weed" and free him of THE GIFT. I'm talking about the gift that is getting stoned. Seriously, the giant used anal bead who said that should never ever be allowed to feel the warm embrace of the green cloud ever again. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE (copyright: Kanye West).
The moron told Star Magazine that the breathing maxi-pad is a major pot head, "He was smoking it every day. He always had a big bag and would share with everyone. He was the King of Weed!”
Twatty also had a problem with dolls, specifically Valium, and went to a rehab facility in Arizona to break the habit. When he busted out, he went right back to the good shit. The friend added, "One day, he walked in on a party and pulled out a bag of pot and said, ‘'We are soooooo getting stoned! No one thought much of it, because at least he was staying away from pills."
Twatty's obviously not smoking up enough, because he's still a major asshole. Lube up and sit on your bong, Twatty. Maybe that will help. Ugh. Can you imagine smoking out with this giant pube bush? He's the reason why some people call weed a "gateway drug." Because after a few seconds with him, you'll realize that weed isn't enough and you'll start injecting your eyeballs with schmack.
Ryan Gaycrest already has a radio show, a TV job on E!, American Idol and now comes word that he may violate our TV screens even more. The Scoop reports that Gaycrest is in talks to replace Larry King later next year. CNN must really despise this country.
Gaycrest regularly fills in when Larry goes and gets his heart restarted. A sourcie said that Gaycrest is looking to make a serious change in his career, “He's so serious about his career, but like anyone, he wants it to evolve. Hosting ‘Larry King’ would be perfect for him." If he wants a serious change, might I suggest early retirement? I'm sure there's a deserted island somewhere with his name on it.
A spokeswhore for Gaycrest would not comment.
Don't you fret, this disaster will never take place. Larry King is never retiring, because he will live on forever. Zombies don't die.
Adrien Brody is slowly melting my tar heart by continuing to have a fraudulent relationship with that Elsa chick. I have nothing against the broad, but she better step off if she doesn't want her face on a milk carton. That gorgeous Afghan Hound belongs to me and not her. The tattoo on my nalgas proves it. Not really, but if Adrien wanted me to ink my foreskin with his initials, I'd do it. Ugh, they are totally going to have beautiful Afghan Hound puppies together. Bringin' on the heartbreak...
Here's Adrien with homewrecker at a party for Conde Nasty Traveler in NYC on Thursday night. I've also added some Milo Ventimiglia, because I know you whores get sticky for him. Oh and this post would not be complete without Lady Miss Kier.