Jamie Lynn Spears

Jamie Lynn Spears is having a baby boy so says MSNBC's The Scoop. They claim Brit Brit and Jamie Lynn were shopping at Petit Tresor in Los Angeles last week and only bought blue things. Yes, this totally means she's having a boy. I mean, maybe the bitch is color blind?

Is Petit Tresor the only baby store in Los Angeles? Do they not have a Gymboree?!

Britney told everyone that the items were for her boys, but a source said, “None of the items could have been mistaken for being purchased for the two kids Britney already has.”

I'm going to bet my Tivo that Jamie Lynn and Casey are going to name their son.....Casey Jamie or Jamie Casey! Personally, I think Jamie Lynn should name her son after her favorite Uncle, Uncle Willy!

Jamie Lynn Spears' Uncle Willy spoke to the media again about his knocked up niece and he really only had lovely things to say about her. Uncle Willy spoke from his camper van home and said JL was an accident and that Jamie Spears didn't want her. I'm sure Uncle Willy is JL's favorite uncle.

Uncle Willy told InTouch that Jamie had a vasectomy after Britney was born and he was shocked to learn Lynne was pregnant. He said, “Jamie got awfully mad. He said it couldn’t be his." Jamie also demanded a DNA test which proved JL was his. Uncle Willy added, "That’s why they named her Jamie Lynn, to kind of make the point that she was from both of them.” He thinks "history is repeating itself," because JL is knocked up.

Uncle Willy needs to shut the fuck up. He needs to go outside, fuck a goat, inhale some more Jenkem and keep his trap shut. I should take my own advice and quit listening to his hillbilly ass. Whenever I read Uncle Willy's quotes, I imagine him saying it in a Jethro Bodine accent. It sort of makes me laugh.

How many blocks of government cheese do you think these tabloids are giving Uncle Willy to say all this crap?

Here's JL house shopping yesterday. They grow up so fast.

While the cat's away....

Lynne Spears is currently in Los Angeles dealing with the Brit Brit debacle leaving Jamie Lynn by herself in Kentwood, LA. What does a knocked up teen do while her parents are away? She parties! Jamie Lynn threw a Super Bowl party at her mother's mansion, Serenity, and invited Casey Aldridge and a bunch of her friends reports Star Magazine.

A source said, “They were all laughing. They looked really happy and excited to be at the house, like they hadn't seen Jamie Lynn in a while."

Earlier in the day Casey and Jamie Lynn drove to a Wal-Mart Supercenter 35-miles from Kentwood. One source said they might have been buying booze, because the store near her house doesn't sell that shit on Sundays. Ugh, I hate dry Sundays!

Don't jump too conclusions! I'm sure Jamie Lynn was keeping it classy and safe by only drinking Sunny-D spritzers all day and snacking on nachos made with Doritos. Speaking of Doritos nachos. When I went to London a couple of months ago, someone told me they make their nachos with fucking cheese Doritos instead of regular tortilla chips. I didn't believe them, but they do! It's strangely delicious, but then you realize what you're eating and that's when your butt starts rumbling.

Jamie Lynn is sick of Britney getting all of the attention AGAIN. Either that or she's stick of Lynne Spears, because The National Enquirer (VIA MSNBC) reports that Jamie Lynn wants to run away from her mother and move to Los Angeles to live with Daddy Spears.

A source said, “She wants to be settled in before the baby is born in March or early April — and she wants to be closer to film projects she’d like to start after giving birth.” Lynne also refuses to let Jamie see her baby daddy, Casey Aldridge. Jamie looooooves that boy and wants to marry him or something, but Lynne isn't having it.

Lynne is also afraid that if JL moves to Los Angeles, she will suffer the same fate as Brit. “Jamie Lynn knows Britney smoked and drank during her pregnancy — and because Britney’s boys turned out fine, Jamie Lynn thinks her baby will be fine too.”

Brit's boys turned out fine? Isn't that up for discussion?

Jamie Lynn is probably sick of sitting on the sofa, snacking on Raisin Bran out of the box and watching her sister get all the attention. She wants to be on the cover of every tabloid weekly too! I'm sure she tried to have a major breakdown in the middle of the Kangaroo Express gas station, but nobody cared.

I think we should put in an emergency vote on the ballots today. Only 1 Spears sister is allowed in 1 state at a time. California has been through enough.

Gatecrasher interviewed Brit Brit and Jamie Lynn's pepaw, June Austin Spears, and he had a lot to say. Give him his own show. I love that his name is June Austin.

Pepaw June talked about why we haven't seen Jamie Lynn out and about. "Lynne keeps Jamie Lynn hidden. [Lynne is] in denial about the pregnancy. She thinks it's just going to go away, but it's not. It's going to get bigger and bigger." He then goes on to babble out some other Spears girl, "My granddaughter Tara Ann Ballard is getting married in Baton Rouge in June. I might walk her down the aisle." he said. "There ain't gonna be no wedding if I'm not there."

And when asked about the rumors of him shooting at reporters, he sad, "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. I don't have a gun permit. I keep it under the front seat of my truck."

Does he have teeth? When I read his quotes I pictured his gums flapping, but no teeth in sight. I also pictured him drinking a mug of hot Tang. Ship Brit back to Kentwood and bring Pepaw June to Hollywood.

Lynne is doing the right thing by keeping Jamie Lynn locked up. It's for her own good. Now if she would only do the same for Brit.

And since we're on the topic, Daddy Spears will be back in court today fighting to keep his place as the Captain of Brit's finances. Brit's law firm, Trope and Trope, will ask the judge to change conservators. Britney asked them to, because she doesn't get along with her daddy. However, the next night Britney asked her daddy to come visit her. Basically, Brit has no idea what she wants. No word yet on who the law firm will suggest replace Daddy Spears as conservators. I'm guessing it rhymes with HAM and smells like a rat.

Get the Dlisted carrier pigeon! I need to send Jamie Lynn Spears a note: "Dear JL, You are not Juno. It was a damn movie. Only a movie. Now go slap your sister for me. xoxoxoMichael"

Star Magazine claims that JL is planning to hand her baby over to her mother, Lynne, as soon as she gives birth. JL wants to concentrate on her career. What career? She's having a laugh!

A source said, “After several weeks of personal soul searching and talks and discussions with her mum Jamie Lynn reluctantly agreed that giving up the baby is the right thing to do. Lynne says Jamie doesn’t understand the life long consequences of having a baby. She still wants her daughter to be able to be a teenager, go to parties, hang out with friends and have a career. So she’ll take the front seat of caring for the baby and take the pressure off her daughter.”

Jamie Lynn's manager has reportedly advised her to have the baby, take pictures with it, sell the pictures and then hand the baby over to Lynne. The source went on to say, “Lynne is convinced that having a baby on her hip will not help Jamie Lynn’s future in the business and she’s expecting her daughter to pick up where she left off as soon as the baby is born.”

Lynne is apparently excited about raising another baby. Great! That one will be having babies by the age of 11 and drinking Frapps by the age of 1! Wonderful things to look forward to.

At least Britney's not asking to take care of the baby. Shit! I just gave her an idea. What have I done?

Source - Image: Popbytes