Beth Ditto

Oh, look! It's the broken condom baby of Little Orphan Annie and Divine! Although, the sun won't be coming out tomorrow, because Beth is blocking it!

Beth Ditto normally looks like something Leigh Bowery queefed up, but she looked extra dragalicious last night, because she was judging some drag show in London. I approve of this look only because her hair is probably what Carrot Top's nut bush looks like.

This is some "Poor Unfortunate Souls" shit and that is the highest of compliments! I mean, Beth Ditto's mesmerizing cholita eyebrows are a work of high art! This is the real reason why the Sharpie was invented! Seriously, they should teach this shit in all schools. Fuck 2 + 2, our nation's children need to know how to achieve stunning brows like this.

Beth is a brave bitch traveling without a couple of Brinks guards, because I know a few hardcore cholas that would cut those things right off! Although, Beth could probably knock them the fuck out just by rolling her dice.

Here's Beth and her holy eyebrows at the launch of her fashion line in London yesterday with some overgrown Oompa Loompa.

Beth Ditto once again bares her chitty balls on the cover of a magazine and this time it's for some shit called LOVE. My only question is: Where the eff are her nipples?! Are they camera shy, so they jumped off that bitch? Did the Shar Pei puppy on her back eat them?

The NSFWish version is after the jump and you tell me why they took a Magic Eraser to her nipples. We're nothing without our nipples! JUMP!!!

Beth Ditto left Punk nightclub in London last night with a trash bag over her head because she didn't want the paps to recognize her. I didn't know Hefty made BBW size. If she didn't want the paps to recognize her, she should have put the bag over her ass. Even Audrina Patridge's fucked up ceiling eyes would recognize that ass from across a field.

And didn't Ditto learn that putting a plastic bag over your head could cause suffocation? We learned this shit as children. Hold up, maybe she did play with plastic bags as a child. That would explain everything.

I still love that batshit crazy BBW.

If Beth Ditto was a planet she would be Saturn because I'm pretty sure Saturn doesn't have any eyebrows. It does have plenty of rolls rings though.

This bitch is so hot that she burned her own eyebrows off! I hope this shit doesn't become a trend because eyebrows are a beautiful thing!

Ditto kept her ham hocks and jumbo cherry turnover covered, so this is an upgrade. I almost didn't notice her without her triple ass hanging out. Bitch looks like Mama Cass on a very special episode of "The Jetsons." Hot.

Here's Beth and guest at the Glamour Awards last night in London. Her guest is a chick, right? I'm totally getting Rojo Caliente-y vibes from her.

Oatmeal and raspberries with a side of Gouda cheese! Delicious!

We haven't caught up with Beth Ditto in a while, so here she is in all her glory performing at Shepherds Bush this past Friday. Shepherds Bush? I can almost see Ditto's Bush in that outfit. This is actually covered up for Ditto.

Ditto said that she's planning to visit Paris sooner with her girlfriend. She can't wait to work off all the treats she's been eating.

Beth told the Mirror, "I'm taking my girlfriend Fanny to Paris. I've eaten a lot of treats and I'm going to burn it off with her!" Fanny better bring an oxygen tank, power bar and flare gun just in case. You don't want to get caught under Ditto without the necessities.

It's fucking good to see Beth Ditto even though she looks like one big Nerf ball. I'm also a little weepy that she didn't bring it all out for the Brit Awards and by "all out" I mean show her ass. I'm sure she will by the end of the night when she's had too many Fuzzy Navels. That dress will be on the floor and I probably will regret what I wished for.

Also at the Brits tonight are Alien Princess RiRi in a dress by Reynolds Wrap. She's fucking ready to be beamed up after this bitch. Also Kelly Osbourne who is basically shrinking into nothingness. She was with her family and her mother wore the same damn frock she always wears. Of course, Mark Ronson was there. He's performing with Amy Wino tonight. He could be covered in elephant shit and I would still think he was a hot piece.