Phoebe Price

It's Chicken Cutlets day on Dlisted. Yeah, when isn't it PP day? I need rehab and a straitjacket or at least a fingerjacket to keep me from posting about her. Anyway, while PP was busy dealing with Chanelgate '08, "Extra" aired a segment featuring the world famous superstar. The segment was about Z-listers. WTF! Z for Zesty! They call PP the "Queen Bee of the Wannabes." That's "Hot Babe" to you.

Every day I learn something new about PP. Who knew that she was HUGE in Korea. HUGE!

My new ringtone is totally going to be PP saying, "They're jealous little PR BLEEPS that don't like me because I'm famous!"

The International talent known as Phoebe Denise Price held a press conference for the worldwide media outside of the Chanel store on Robertson Blvd. yesterday to announce her lawsuit against the brand for not allowing her into a party. PP was joined by her dream team of lawyers from the offices of Jacoby & Meyers. No, I don't know which firm they work for.

Chicken Cutlets told the 5 men with cameras media that she was invited to the Chanel party, but the dumb bitch PR girls refused to let her in. She ran home to get her invitation and presented it to the girls, but they accused her of making it up. Phoebe has asked Chanel for a formal apology and has yet to receive one. She will file charges against them so that no celebrity has to go through this again!

When asked if she was planning on throwing out her Chanel earrings, she said that she could not answer the question at this time. She also said she didn't want people going through her garbage to find the earrings. Oh, if you want some Chanel earrings like PP's, go down to Chinatown. I kid, I kid. PP doesn't wear fake trash! Her ears would fall off if she did that.

There's no video right now, but I'll post as soon as it comes in. You know that's some good shit.

Okay, when the trial of the century begins, I'm going to offer PP my services as her style consultant. You do not wear a Valley of the Dolls cocktail dress to a serious press conference! She needed to wear a high-powered business woman's suit and carry a briefcase. Carrying a briefcases shows everyone that you means business. And why is PP throwing the peace sign in front of Chanel? She should be flipping those cunts off!

Lastly, I hope you're all still boycotting the devil known as Chanel! I have not purchased one of their products since....well ever. I have also ripped their ads out of several magazines. Do your part! TEAM CHICKEN CUTLETS! PP must be vindicated!

International supermodel Phoebe Price did some charity work last night by presenting Paula Abdul with an award from the Neuromuscular Disease Foundation. When cutlets met crazy! You know what's wrong with the picture above? Paula is not bowing down to Her Royal Highness The Queen of Chicken Cutlets.

I doubt these two spoke one word to each other. Paula just grinned and watched the chicken cutlets dance happily on Phoebe's cheeks. PP didn't notice, she was too busy trying to do her best Morticia Cutlets impression.

In other PP news, she will hold a press conference today in front of the Chanel store on Robertson in Los Angeles. PP will address Chanelgate! She has not received an apology from Chanel, so she's expected to announce her lawsuit against them. Scooby Doo will be her head counsel. I can't wait to hear this shit. Trial of the fucking century!

As soon as I finish this cocktail, I'm going to enroll into weekend online law school! Phoebe Price needs vindication and I feel I'm the only one that can properly represent her. You see, on Friday I posted a sad story about PP getting DEE-NIED from the opening of the Chanel store in Los Angeles even though she was invited. She has the e-mail to prove it! A total tear jerker.

Well, Chicken Cutlets told TMZ that she's planning to sue Chanel if she doesn't get an apology by next week. She also wants the "PR girl" that denied her, fired. Fuck that! I want that dumb bitch PR girl sent to death row! What she did to PP was a sin and a crime! PP is a fire angel sent from the chicken cutlet heavens to bless this world with a little glamour! That PR cunt hurt an angel!

Like she says on the video, PP is from the south where people are nice and sleep with their first cousins. Ok, she didn't say that last part. I was joking! Damn. It's the Ketel One talking.

Hear PP's cry below:

Take off your earrings, put on your heavy rings, hide razors in your hair and grab your shank! Chicken Cutlets needs our help.

Last night, the International supermodel and Queen of Cannes was denied entry to the opening of a Howard Johnson in Rockford, Illinois. NO! It was the opening of a Chanel store on Robertson Blvd. in Los Angeles. Yes, she was denied. DEE-NIED! I'm surprised PP even knew what they were saying. I doubt she's ever heard that word before. How fucking dare they! The audacity! Robertson is PP's stroll. Those dumb ass whores need to recognize.

PP showed the paps the e-mail she made up herself she received from Chanel's PR whores. You need to read this e-mail. It's amazing. It lists all of PP's accomplishments on one page. That shit should be like 600-pages. Shit, it should be a couple of volumes. PP's resume is neverending!

She also posed in front of the D&G store instead. She really showed those bitches!

BOYCOTT Chanel! You won't ever see me buying a $10,000 bag from Chanel. You wouldn't see me buying one anyway, but at least I have a reason now.

International supermodel, Phoebe Price, has returned from her triumphant turn as the Queen of Cannes and she's still going off about the evil doers that faked her cellulite in their magazines! Cellugate!

PP's cottage cheese thighs made the covers of even more magazines and she's not taking it. Outside of The Ivy, she told paps she does not have a cellulite problem. You know, in case they didn't hear it the first ten million times she said it. When is she going to go on Tyra Banks already? The two of them can have fake cotty cheese applied to their thighs. Then they can walk around the city in coochie cutters to see what it really feels like having a cellulite problem. The tears! I bet PP's tears taste like chicken broth! Delicious.

Lezzy Lohan wore a ring on her engagement finger to last night's Dolce and Gabbana party in Cannes. You know what this means? A big ole' gayelle wedding! Break out the flannel and birkenstocks! We've got a gayelle wedding to attend.

Yeah, right. Lohan just wore the ring for attention. It's probably some glass shit from Claire's. Let's be real.

International supermodel, Phoebe Price, attended the same event and she also wore a ring on her left hand. It wasn't on her wedding finger, but she's trying to be slick. OMG! Eff Samantha Ronson! LL and PP are engaged! Sorry Rojo Caliente and Cynthia Nixon. There's a new hot, lesbian, ginge couple on the scene.

Sorry, I'm hungover......

Holy chicken cutlets with parmesan sauce! Phoebe Price's cottage cheese thighs need their own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. They are famous than their glamorous owner! They have already made the cover of The National Enquirer and now they are on this week's cover of Star Magazine. PP's cheese thighs will be on Vogue's July cover. Trust this!

And Brit Brit has the best beach bod? In some cultures, maybe. Sarah Jessica Parker's beach body looks just like Mr. Burns' beach body. Wait, have they ever been in a room together?

Phoebe Price should really consider moving to Cannes. They adore her there! They photograph her chicken cutlets every hour of the day. I'm not even posting half of the pictures they take of her. They can't get enough of her! The French must love poultry.

PP crashed show up to another Angelina Jolie premiere at Cannes today. She already attended the Kung Fu Panda premiere last week. You know she totally swiped Angie's itinerary. Well, PP is the next Angelina Jolie, so she's just training for her inevitable future by following Angie around. Angie better watch her man. No man can resist the warm and salty taste of chicken cutlets.

And PP kept flashing two fingers to the paps while on the red carpet. Is she trying to do a peace sign? It looks more like she's about to stick her tongue in between the V and make the "licking coochie" gesture. She's directing that towards Angie. No woman can resist the warm and salty taste of chicken cutlets either.

Anyway, the poor fools that had to share the red carpet with PP during tonight's "Changeling" premiere included Victoria Silvstedt, Sharon Stone and Dita Von Teese. Their beauty pales in comparison to the radiance of Phoebe Price!

Phoebe Price is taking Cannes by storm or is it Cannes is taking PP by storm? I'll get back to you on that one. PP once again provided some much needed glamour to the red carpet by attending the "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" premiere. PP does not play Vicky, Cristina or Barcelona. Shit, she's not even an extra in the movie. That doesn't matter! I'm sure Woody Allen himself asked PP to bless his premiere with her chicken cutlets.

Don't ask me what the hell she's wearing. I'm sure it's from a designer whose name I can't even pronounce. Actually, it's probably from Sally Kirkland's garage sale. That doesn't matter! PP is stunning as usual. You know she thinks she looks like Lucy Westenra from "Dracula."

Those Cannes bitches better give PP some sort of prize at the end of this. I'm thinking "Hottest Babe at Cannes!"

The premiere was also attended by Star Jones and her arm vagina, Woody and his mute bride (does Soon-Yi even talk?) and Penny Cruz.