Phoebe Price

This shit basically speaks for itself. There are no words..... I am Spaghetti Cat speechless. But before I go and cuddle up to a plate of chicken cutlets, let me officially declare Phoebe Price as "Hot Babe of the Millennium!"

I don't even know how the Oscars could go on last night without the premiere seat filler in Hollywood bringing the poultry glamour to the audience? International supermodel and silver screen sensation Phoebe Price was not there! I'm not out of line when I say that they should have canceled the whole thing. The statues just weren't as sparkly or shiny, because PP was not holding it down in the audience. I blame St. Angie for this. That chicken hater knew she could not compete with PP's elegance and sophistication, so she got her fired. And Angie was afraid PP would steal her man. Men just can't refuse a firm pair of greasy cutlets. No, they can't.

Instead of gracing the Oscars, PP attended Popeye's Oscar party and cookout in Van Nuys. No, she went to JLove's Oscar party at the Abbey in West Hollywood. PP brought her mama je'e, Flora. They have matching organic cutlets! PP also brought out her raw chicken breasts out too! The Oscar bitches are fools! They could have had all of this.

International supermodel and Hot Babe of 2007, Phoebe Price, was gracious enough to speak to the worldwide media (aka Channel 7 in L.A.) at the opening of Orange Bone pet store. The pet store was named after her, obviously. Don't worry your pretty little genitals, Orange Bone sells dogs from shelters instead of puppy mills. PP knows what's right. Or she's just there for the free Andre champagne. Which she had to serve.

In between her canape serving shifts, the always eloquent PP gave her thoughts on the new pet store. Shortly after this interview, the needy and tortured animal lying on her head was adopted by a good family. Henry the dog thought to himself, "Why couldn't it be me." But seriously, PP is changing the world one cutlet at a time. I don't know what that means exactly, but it seems fitting.

In the video above, PP's at the 1:01 mark, but stop by a few seconds before that to gaze at Charlotte Ross' ravishing eyebrows.

It's been much too long since international supermodel and silver screen star Phoebe Price has graced us with her chicken cutlets. Dlisted and Robertson Blvd. have been so lonely and cold without her. PP knows this, so she brings us gifts to make up for her absence. You see, the Claire's of the poultry world has been keeping her glue gun busy by making hats! Yes, she's moved on from bedazzling toddler belts you wear around your head to creating one-of-a-kind art pieces for your head. This is some Blossom shit DONE RIGHT. I can't wait to buy my very own original PP Chicken Hat in the black label section at the swap meet.

Anyway, PP dressed in Garbage Pail Kids Chic to host this open post for you. Nibble on a chicken wing and rant away!

Mischa Barton has FINALLY launched her eagerly-awaited (NOT) line of headbands. Yes, because there are zillions of dumb whores who want to throw away $200 on a piece of shit that you can make yourself using scraps from your memaw's craft box. But don't even bother. Wearing a piece of paper that says "I am a foolio" is cheaper and gets the message across clearer.

Mischa's cacabands cost anywhere from 90 clams to 200 clams and are sold at some joint called Stacey Lapidus. If you even think of buying one of these, I swear. I'll.... I'll.... curse your name and never masturbate to you again. There is only one celebrity headband line allowed and that one belongs to international supermodel and silver screen star Phoebe Price! Of course, Phoebe had her line first. Mischa is a copy cat bitch! Phoebe even had her cellulite photos on a tabloid first and then Mischa had to go and copy her with that too! Mischa is a devil woman.

Mischa's headbands won't do anything but make you look like your head is too fucking fat, so you need a belt to hold it up. That doesn't really make sense, but I never do, so just go with it. Phoebe's headbands will do so much more for you!

Only after wearing them for a few minutes, you will get the sudden urge to pose on the street for absolutely no reason. Before you know it, paparazzi or creepy old men will start taking pictures of you and turn you into an overnight supermodel sensation just like Phoebe. Her headbands have that power! They might also cause you to rub raw chicken cutlets all over your face, but that's a small side-effect you can kind of live with.

VIA WWD

Here we have the most important 45 seconds in cinematic history. It's Phoebe Price's pivotal role in the feature film "Get Smart," which really should have been called "Get Cutlets" in her honor. Watch PP instantly go from international supermodel to international screen star in a matter of seconds. Don't blink or make any sudden movements, because you might miss it. I'm serious. Stay still.

No, she doesn't have any lines, but she speaks with her cutlets! The raw emotion is pouring out of her like gravy. I mean, can Meryl Streep pretend to window shop the same way Chicken Cutlets can? I think not. A silver screen star is born.

Below is soon-to-be Oscar winner Chicken Cutlets trying not to be noticed at the very private The Ivy restaurant yesterday. The usually humble PP was kind enough to show off her editorial spread in Vogue Magazine. Okay, it was really some tabloid, but what's the difference, really? Not much, so says Jennifer Aniston! Notice how PP tags all the pages she's in. She's so organized! PP must be prepared for the thousands of fans who attack her on the street to see let see her latest work.

I also threw in some screen shots of PP's powerful performance. My faith in American cinema has been restored.

Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie both have a line of headbands out and Mischa's got her cellulite in a twist, because she wants Nicole to step off her idea. Some bitch told Star Magazine (via Popcrunch), “Mischa is furious. She feels like Nicole completely copied her idea.”

I'm furious at both of these fugly ass slugs for trying to compete with the world's only premiere headband designer! Look at this hot slut below! How can you compete with this? Mischa and Nicole both need to take their headbands, shove it up their asses and leave headband designing to the real artist!

If Pocahontas was alive today, she would get on her knees and pay homage to headband design genius Phoebe Price!

Images: Wenn, Wireimage

I knew there was a good reason why I was sat through the American Mess Awards last night, it was so that I could catch a glimpse of our beloved "Hot Babe of the Year" and international supermodel Phoebe Price! I smelled the aroma of crispy chicken skin even before the camera caught her ravishing fire nest.

PP was there because what's an award without the hardest-working seat filler in the business! She gave out mints in the ladies bathroom between her seat filling shifts. I kid, I kid. PP was there because when you think of America, you think of PP. When you think of music, you think of PP. And when you think of award shows, you think of PP. Clearly.

Chicken Cutlets was even caught on camera like twice! She probably got a total of 10-seconds airtime. I think that's a record for her! And the Emmy for Sexiest Chicken Cutlets Filling an Awards Show Seat goes to.....

Here's more of PP wearing a vintage David's Bridal bridesmaids dress last night.

Henry the dog is thinking: "I really shouldn't be seeing this shit." I have to agree with Henry. International supermodel Phoebe Price is the reason why I open up my Safari browser in the morning, but this is too much information. To quote Valerie Cherish, "Note to self: After a long day at work, I don't want to see that!"

My gutter trash mind automatically replaces the long, pink straw with a "you know" and those milkshake drops get replaced with a load of "no comment." I do not like cream with my cutlets! That said, the picture above just became my iPhone wallpaper. Well, I'm a devoted Chickenloonie and I like feeling uncomfortable.

Here's PP doing dark-sided things with a milkshake at Millions of Milkshakes last night.

Forgive me chickens, for I have sinned. It's been almost two weeks since my last post about international supermodel Phoebe Price. So which skin doctor's office has she been hiding in? I KID! Chicken Cutlets is a natural beauty and those who say otherwise are JELIS H8RS!!1!!!

The very international PP has been busy...well...being international! Chicken Cutlets was gracing her poultry glamour on the lovely country of Sweden where she was personally invited by the royal family to attend the "Quantum of Solace" premiere. Okay, I made up that "royal family" part, but it's probably true. They probably realized that Sweden needs to learn the art of posing with inanimate objects and they need the greatest to teach them this! How do you say "chicken cutlets" in Swedish anyway? According to google translator (which is shit, I'm sure), it's "kyckling cutlets." Viva Kyckling Cutlets!

Now that PP's mission in Sweden is complete, she's back in America doing what she does best: posing anywhere and everywhere! Here's some pictures of Chicken Cutlets exposing Henry's kibbles and bits while being stunningly supermodel-y on the streets of Los Angeles!