White Oprah

Friday, March 28th 2008

White Oprah Invades Harlem

White Oprah, her mother and her 14-year-old daughter infected Harlem yesterday....WAIT. Let's put this shit on pause for a minute. How in the name of Herbie is Ali Lohan 14?! I mean, maybe this girl is on to something. Maybe looking like a twice divorced mother of three who works as a telemarketer by day and a NJ taxi dancer by night is the new thing for teen girls? OLD is new, I guess. Ali better take a good look at Granny Lohan, because that's what she's going to look like in 10 years.

As I was typing......White Oprah and clan visited a community center in Harlem, because they wanted to give back. BIG HA! They were there to shoot scenes for their new reality show.

You have to see the pictures below of White Oprah busting a move. The girls are laughing at her ass!

Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, March 6th 2008

Another White Oprah Post!

It's White Oprah day here on Dlisted. What have you done to deserve two White Oprah posts almost back to back? Well, you took a doody this morning and didn't wipe. I saw you.

Anyway, W.O. spoke to PageSix.com at the premiere of "High School Confidential" about her new reality show. She said they had no choice, because "tabloids and reality shows are not going away. If they know who Ali is as a person, it’s better.”

She went on to say, "We're doing it, because it's not going away. We're going to find a way to navigate through the waters of that, tabloidisim and just try to have a career and be successful. There's no protection like the old days."

No choice? I'm surprised she didn't say Lindsay Lohan had no choice to get nude for a magazine, because the paparazzi were getting pictures of her hooha. White Oprah is amazing. She actually believes the garbage that comes out of her wrinkly lips. She probably practiced that speech in front of her magnificent magnifying mirror.

Michael Lohan was also at the premiere and was looking hot in Bugle Boy jeans. He also talked about the Lohan reality show, “Lindsay is a silver screen star; she’s an actress. I don’t think the reality genre is a place for her and I don’t think she thinks so either.”

Silver screen star? He's drinking from the same glass as White Oprah. Yeah, reality isn't the place for her. Porn is!

Wireimage

Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, March 6th 2008

White Oprah!

It's been too long since I've seen this crusty and over-processed version of Mama Rose. Oh how I've missed White Oprah. W.O. dragged her 45-year-old daughter, Ali Lohan, out to meet Lindsay Lohan for dinner last night in NYC. Aren't they a lovely family. Dirty, but lovely. I could wring all them out and probably provide Sunset Tan with enough fake tan liquid to last them a few years. Recycling!

And why must Lindsay always fuck the camera with her eyes? Must this slut try to fuck everything? Not even cameras are safe. I totally love her gorilla pubic hair coat. It must have cost her a pennies. Yeah right, she stole it.

Splashnewsonline.com

Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, March 4th 2008

Finally, Some Real TV

White Oprah's reality TV masterpiece will debut this Summer on E! The show has tentatively been called "Living Lohan" and will follow White Oprah as she tries to make a star out of 14-year-old Ali Lohan. The other Lohan kids will also be featured, but White Oprah is the star. FINALLY! She is the real star of the family.

E! said, “The Lohans are one of the most intriguing families in the entertainment industry today. This is a family that knows how to roll with the punches and come out on top. Dina is an incredibly hard-working, passionate mom that I think our viewers will find both relatable and highly entertaining.

Rolls with the punches? More like knows how to roll the blunts. I can't wait to follow the Lohan family as they get drunk, go fake tanning and....what else do they do?

Source: People

Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, February 19th 2008

It's Art!

White Oprah loves her "statements," so it's only fitting that she issues one regarding Lindsay's nude shoot for New York Magazine. White Oprah said the photographs are art. Like this bitch knows what art is. She probably thinks Van Gogh is a very talented calendar artist.

White Oprah told People, "It was very tastefully done. "I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically. For him to call Lindsay 46 years later and to say can you recreate these photos is an honor. I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don't look at them like it's Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother."

Showing your tits is showing your tits. There's nothing wrong with it, but dudes will jack off to her "art pics" the same way they would jack off to Playboy pics. They see tits and they whip it out.

White Oprah said Lindsay did the shoot, because she felt she would never get this chance again and she feels connected to Marilyn. "For Christmas, my girlfriends even gave her a Marilyn cookie jar. I think there's a sadness that Lindsay feels for Marilyn. Lindsay really saw it as a gift back to someone." It was a gift to millions of prepubescent boys that have been playing her sex scene in "I Know Who Killed Someone" over and over again. They have new material!

It was also ok with White Oprah or she wouldn't have sent over her 14-year-old daughter to watch! "I wouldn't have sent my 14-year-old to the set [if the shoot was in bad taste]. And obviously Lindsay wouldn't do anything with her sister there, that was risqué."

She sent Ali over, because she wanted to show her what she's going to be doing in 4 years. White Oprah likes to prepare her meal tickets.

P.S. - I know I've used that pic before, but I use it any chance I get.

Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, January 3rd 2008

White Oprah Likes To Tell Jokes

 
Lindsay Lohan boinked that Riley Giles dude for a quick second and right after they broke up he sold his story to The News of the World. UsWeekly claims they paid his ass almost $120,000 to kiss and tell. Well, apparently White Oprah didn't appreciate it and called up Riley's mommy right away to let her know what's what.
 
A source said, “Dina insulted her parenting." A friend of White Oprah's confirms she called Riley's mom. 
 
Insulted her parenting? I doubt it. She probably called up asking for a piece of the pie and to give him advice on how to milk it even more! I'm sure White Oprah also offered to be Riley's manager, so she could make more cash.  White Oprah doesn't give a fuck about parenting skills. She loves the dollar too much.  
 
White Oprah and Lynne Spears should team up to teach a class at the Learning Annex, How To Pimp Out Your Kid In 10 Steps!
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Sunday, November 25th 2007

Lindsay Bonds With Her Family

Lindsay is making the family rounds this holiday weekend by attending her brothers basketball game yesterday with White Oprah and boyfriend thing Riley Giles in tow. What the hell, she's still with this guy? You think she would have downgraded by now.

She was also seen meeting up with her dad and his girlfriend after the game at a drug store. Drug store huh. Classy.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, November 21st 2007

Throwing Daggers

 
Come on Lindsay. Give us a little smile. You've been reunited with your younger sister, White Oprah! Look happy.
 
Lindsay Lohan is back in NYC for the Thanksgiving holiday with her family. Imagine that Thanksgiving? White Oprah and Michael Lohan probably spend most of the time fighting for the spotlight. 
 
Here's Linds having dinner with W.O. and her boyfriend, Riley Giles, in NYC. Ugh, when is that Riley person going to go away? He should be bagging groceries at Ralph's. The name alone is completely annoying. Riley Giles? That sounds like a cheap ass men's label they carry at Sears.  
 
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Monday, November 19th 2007

Daddy Lohan Gives Back

 
But you better believe he got something in return, PRESS!
 
Daddy Lohan and his girlfriend, Eren, served Thanksgiving today at the NYC Rescue Mission.
 
Since it's getting cold, I'm glad Michael has traded his mock turtleneck in for a real one. That shit was really bothering me. His girlfriend looks brainwashed. Cute, but brainwashed. You'd have to be to suck that dick!
 
Is Daddy yelling at someone in the last thumbnail? Don't yell at people on Thanksgiving! Damn, the pilgrims would not have approved.
 
Daughter to father! Daughter to father!
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Friday, November 16th 2007

13 Isn't What It Used To Be

 
UsWeekly posted a side-by-side of Lindsay Lohan when she was 13 and her sister, Ali Lohan, who is 13 now. Yup, 13 has changed a lot. We know this. Nowadays 13-year-olds are having babies and bragging about it on Maury.
 
However, Lindsay jumped from 16 to like 45 overnight. 
 
White Oprah said that Ali and Lindsay are a lot alike. She told UsWeekly, “My daughters have an interest in the arts and I support them.”
 
The arts?! The art of being an orangehobagskankslutcokehead.
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


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