Morning Wood

Things they torture you with in Hell: A video of Tori Spelling doing "The Potty Dance" with Rachael Ray - I'm Not Obsessed

And another torture device used by Satan - Socialite Life

Jennifer Aniston says she's totally over Brad. She went on to say, "But he's not over me, okay. In my heart of hearts, I know he still loves me. My cat friends tell me so. He always will. He does. Right? Does he ask about me? Tell me he's not over meeeeee!" - Celebitchy

Parasite Hilton's feet should play the title role - Coming Soon

Don't ever make out with Tracy Davies - Scandalist

Michelle Obama should have been carried into every inaugural ball on this chair and in that dress - Buzzfeed

YouTube commenters are the new Siskel & Ebert - Best Week Ever

A Seinfeld reunion! But I'm more interested in seeing Jerry reunite with his ruffled shirt - ICYDK

The queen of the trailer dumpster Tonya Harding is mad at Obama. And I'm mad at her for those bangs - Jezebel

Eva LongWHORIA is full of doody - I'm Not Obsessed

Maria Conchita Alonso thinks Sean Penn needs to shut the fuck up - Celebitchy

THIEF! That's what JLo is - Socialite Life

Cheryl Tweedy's husband arrested for being a sloppy drunk - Holy Moly!

Emma Roberts is about to be eaten alive by a mob of crazed Jonas fangirls - Scandalist

The biggest piece of trash in the world is going to ruin another innocent life! - ICYDK

I mean, can you blame Jon Gosselin? - Celebslam

Mischa Barton's dealer drives a white Caddy - The Bastardly

Who needs sugar and rice for breakfast when you have these two to entertain you? - Crunk + Disorderly

Legally whory - I'm Not Obsessed

We get it, Heidi. We get it. - Socialite Life

Brit Brit isn't the only crazy on the comeback trail this year - Celebitchy

Finally a Krispy Kreme slogan that speaks to me - Videogum

Bizkit probably just had too many chocolate martinis. They have that effect - Urlesque

Somebody please pour salt on these two and end their misery - ICYDK

Gloria Estefan still tours?! But apparently not for long - SOW

Fuganizer: I wouldn't even pick the dingles from my dog's ass with Brit Brit's tour shirt - I'm Not Obsessed

The new face of the Nation of Islam: Snoop Dogg - Celebitchy

Charlize Theron is still hot even in a Reynolds' foil oven bag - ICYDK

Jordan says she's not a famewhore. Harvey's response is, "Fuck off!" - Holy Moly!

This model was crying because she's hongray - The Frisky

Cougar Barbie can also double as Rock of Love Barbie - WOW Reporter

HoHan to become JewHan - Celebuzz

Rob Lowe is either too tan or his co-stars are too damn pasty - SOW

I almost didn't recognize this sexy lady without her mask! - SOW

RyanAir will start charging to use the toilet. No thanks, I'll just shit in the barf bag - Holy Moly!

BEAT - ICYDK

Pasadena Magazine's photo spreads will now consist of pictures of Tori Spelling with the words "DIE CUNT" scribbled in blood on them - Videogum

The Jonas Brothers are a big, steaming hot plate of No. 2 - E! Online

I love that Blaaaake's mom uses the word "trollop" - Celebitchy

What the hell kind of GD outfit is this dude wearing?! - I'm Not Obsessed

Pete Wentz continues to be the biggest douche in doucheland - Socialite Life

Kellie Pickler needs to put down the Botox needle and step the fuck away. And Phyllis Diller better sue her ass for copyright infringement - Celebitchy

Whitney Houston can put down the shank for now - Vh1 Blog

Kanye West will tell you that he has the power to put the hunger for ze cock on your tongue - The Frisky

Since Kelly has been gone, she's been hittin' the Hometown Buffet. JOKES! - ICYDK

From the department of NOT RIGHT: Rosario Dawson's mother is a pit licker - I'm Not Obsessed

Sookie & Bill 4 EVER - Popeater

This picture would be better if they were making out - Socialite Life

Spoiler Alert! Marc Cherry really hates Nicollette Sheridan - SOW

The Willy Warmer looks like something out of The Muppets, but this peen cover is not for children. It also kind of looks like Vadge's sascrotch. - Buzzfeed

Charles Barkley is going to the clink where he can get a blow job in peace! - Celebitchy

Natalie Portman might be frolicking in the unicorn forest soon - I'm Not Obsessed

We've already seen Kate Winslet nekkid. Plenty. - Socialite Life

Surprisingly, the Jonas Brothers #1 fan didn't melt into a panty pudding puddle - SOW

Martha Stewart's pansy ass weed show - Popbytes

Ed Westwick is wearing your pepaw's old velour tracksuit - Pink is the New Blog

George Clooney wants Obama NOW! - Holy Moly!

Courtney Love is looking beat - ICYDK

Some of the hot moment from last night including Phillipe Petit giving Oscar some head (or is it the other way around?) - Gawker

Jessica Biel's fugly ass is making the roses run for cover - ICYDK

Barbara Eden looks younger than any of the Lohans - SOW

I'm surprised Mel Gibson doesn't keep his Oscars up his ass - Celebitchy

Heather Graham kept it green by wearing a recycled costume from Boogie Nights - Popoholic

Simon Cowell's heart is already made of black ice, but he wants to freeze his whole body too when he kicks it - Socialite Life

The court room should be cleared of water carafes when Heather Mills steps in - Holy Moly!

Josh Kelley is a mega lie-teller - I'm Not Obsessed

Here's more pics of Miley Cyrus' trick looking gayer than Gayken's glazed donut hole - Popbytes

People don't hate Ann Coulter, says Ann Coulter! Dude is seriously crazy - Jezebel

No more titty baring for Kate Winslet - Celebitchy

MiserAlba won an award for her acting skills! - I'm Not Obsessed

Danica Patrick is a Brangaloonie - SOW

Mickey Rourke is really having the worst week ever - Holy Moly!

Beyonce is shooting her next video at the beach. The glittery gays of YouTube are already scouting local sand boxes to recreate this shit in - Socialite Life

More Fockers - ICYDK

My next Facebook status: "Facebook gave me the cancers!" - Holy Moly!

Spoiler Alert (maybe)! The Bachelor dramaaaaa - ICYDK

The "Over the Moon" watch: Charlie Sheen edition - People

Coldplay got their asses beat by a bunch of girls - Celebitchy

Breaking! JLove exercises her size two ass - Popoholic

The Twilight sequel dodged a roided-up pussay bullet - ONTD

Basement Baby is on a Twitter diet - I'm Not Obsessed

Katy Perry barfs and bolts - Socialite Life