Charlize Theron

Imaginary Marriages Are The Way To Go

Charlize Theron and Stuart Townsend say they are husband and wife even though they've never gotten married. The two wear wedding rings even though nothing's official.

Stuart said, "I didn't do a church wedding or anything, but we're married. We're husband and wife. We love each other and we want to spend our lives together. We didn't have a ceremony, I don't need a certificate or the state or the church to say otherwise. So no there's no big official story on a wedding, but we are married. ... I consider her my wife and she considers me her husband."

This is the way to do it. Imaginary marriages equal imaginary divorces and maybe even imaginary children! That's the life. Oh and I'm "married" to George Clooney, he just doesn't know it yet. I wear a ring and everything.

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Posted by: Michael K

62 comments •

Charlize Theron • Weddings

This Bitch Is No Joke

I really think before selecting a gown for an event Charlize Theron thinks to herself "What would Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan wear?" and then she goes with that. Charlize knows how to entertain the gays with her wardrobe selection. She looks like Goth Princess Barbie and that's the only way I would have it.

I also love Charlize because one minute she's smoking up out of an apple and the next minute she's the goddess of the red carpet. I'd definitely eat the cat for her. NAST.

Here's Charlize promoting her movie "In The Valley of Elah" at the Venice Film Festival yesterday. For the after-party she was more Sammy Jo than Alexis, but that's fine by me.

Posted by: Michael K

75 comments •

Charlize Theron

Can You Move A Little To Your Left Kate? Keep Moving. Keep Moving.

Tell Kate Hudson to get out of the frame! She's making Charlize Theron look homely and that's just downright illegal! Charlize Theron is a goddess. She's mostly so hot, because she looks stoned in every picture. We all know that bitch loves to smoke the herb out of an apple and I'm not joking.

Here's Charlie being a hot bitch at the Dior show yesterday. Oh and that butt pirate is John Galliano.

Posted by: Michael K

101 comments •

Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron is Still On Top

Charlize Theron is one of the only chicks that I'd actually go down on. I'd probably have to shoot myself up with heroin and almost OD to do this, but I'd still do it. Homegirl is perfect. Now, she wasn't looking her best at yesterday's Dior Cruise Show, but she's still one of the hottest pieces out there.

Charlize joined Dita Von Teese, Anna Wintour, Penny Cruz and Butt Pirate Galliano.

Did Anna Wintour die and come back from the dead without any of us knowing? She looks worse than Skeletor! It's honestly a skeleton with a wig on it!

Posted by: Michael K

140 comments •

Charlize Theron • Hotness • Penelope Cruz

Everyone Wants a Piece of Charlize

Charlize Theron is so hot that dogs, toddlers and boys want to get close to that. She was spotted outside her home this past weekend soaking in some sun. She's even hot from a far.

In other Charlize news, she's apparently in talks to play Marilyn Monroe in ANOTHER biopic. There were rumors that Charlize was going to play Anna Nicole Smith, but looks like that's not happening thankfully.

Tom Hanks owns the rights to "Goddess" a biography about the late blonde icon and is hoping to cast Charlize in his screen adaptation. YES! I finally want to see this ho being the glamourpuss she really is. I'm so sick of her playing straight-up dogs. Leave those roles to Hilary Swank. Put on some sequins, make-up and live a little Charlize.

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Posted by: Michael K

35 comments •

Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron Sued

Swiss watchmaker Raymond Weil has sued the hotness that is Charlize Theron, because allegedly she broke their contract. The watchmaker says that Charlize broke their contract by not wearing only their brand of watches when out in public. The lawsuit was filed in New York City court today.

Charlize signed to be their spokesbitch in 2005. She also whores herself out for Dior. Reps for both Weil and Charlize have not commented.

Can you blame her? That shit is ugly. She's kind of dumb for agreeing to that though. She probably smoke too much weed and totally forgot.

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Posted by: admin

2 comments •

Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron is the Stunningest of Stunners That Ever Stunned

Yes, I know stunningest is not a word, but I'm not known for amazing use of the English language. Hell, even proper use of the English language. Anyway, I'll say it again! Charlize Theron is perfect. She's gorgeous and she loves the herb. Here she is at last night's DKNY JEANS presentation of "East of Havana" which Charlize is a part of.