Nicole Richie

 

Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan's alleged muff-muncher, Samantha Ronson, were spotted at the Justin Timberlake show last night at MSG in NYC. Nicole was mostly all smiles as she sported a slight bump.

 

Friends of Nicole say that she might get married any day now. They claim Nicole wants to tie the knot with Douche Madden before she's as "big as a whale." Um...a baby whale? She won't even get as big as a guppie.

 

This source said, "Whe does not want wedding pictures of her in a big old white dress, with a big old pregnant belly."

 

They claim she will probably get married within the next 3 weeks in an intimate ceremony.  

 

That's all lovely and everything, but how does Nicole find bracelets small enough?! Do you think those are rings and not bracelets? Her wrists are miniature. 

 

 

 

 

 

Because I love boobs, I'm putting myself on the Nicole Richie "boobwatch." I actually think this is the biggest they will get. Hopefully they get to Salma Hayek proportions, but this will never happen. If it did, Nicole's back would explode.  

 

Here's Nicole in NYC the other day.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pregnancy is doing good things to Nicole Richie's body. I actually see breastses! At first I thought it was a mirage, but nope...she has them! She's looking hot. She should stay knocked up forever.

 

Source: TMZ

 

 

 

Parasite Hilton told People Magazine that she thinks Nicole Richie will make the "best mom ever." Compared to who? White Oprah? Ok, then I agree.

 

Paris said, "She's really happy! I just got off the phone with her. She's so excited."

"I know she's going to be the best mom ever." 

 

Oh and that isn't Paris kissing Nicole in Malibu yesterday. Yeah it took me a little while to realize it was her dog, Hendrix. Yeah, Hendrix. She's so rock n' roll.

 

I'm not sure what she's reading. My guess would be the DUMBWHORESKANKUGLYRATNOSEDWHORE's handbook. That's just a guess.

 

Hendrix is truly an angel and now he's in bed with the devil. I hope he's ok with that.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was just a matter of time before the "NICOLE RICHIE MIGHT LOSE BABY" stories started to surface. Star Magazine claims that Nicole was rushed to the hospital fearing that she might lose her unborn baby. Sources claim Nicole started bleeding and immediately freaked out and made Douche Madden rush her to the hospital. The doctor apparently assured Nicole that her baby was safe, but told her to eat more. Uh...huh...

 

A source said, "Nicole was bleeding so much, it was really scary for her. They found out she's suffering from both a hormonal and nutritional deficiency."

 

How much is a lot of blood to Nicole Richie? She probably hasn't had a period since 2002, so any amount of blood probably freaks her out! I'm sure it was normal spotting, but chick isn't used to seeing blood come out so she freaked.

 

She's gonna pass out when Thumbelina is born!

 

That picture is a couple of months old, but I love it when Nicole covers her face. She looks like such a fool! If I was her carrier I'd walk her into an open ditch and laugh!

 

Image: Splash

 

 

 

Part two of Nicole Richie's thrilling (I'm being sarcastic) interview with Diane Sawyer aired this morning on "Good Morning America." Today they talked about Nicole's weight and again bitch claims she eats all the time. A regular garbage disposal that one. She said she's stepped up the eating now that she's knocked up.

 

"Do I eat is kind of an understatement. I eat all the time, especially now. I'm constantly hungry. I'm eating at least every hour."

 

 

Joel Madden said not being able to smoke is the hardest part. He claims he has given up his one and half pack a day habit. If this is true I can't wait to see how fat this fucker get. He has "fat gene" written all over him.

 

Nicole also said that she doesn't have an eating disorder and is ok with gaining weight. "I'm totally okay" with gaining 40 or 50 lbs. during her pregnancy if "that is what my body needs to do." 

 

"No, I do not have an eating disorder. I've never had an eating disorder. Ever. ... It's anxiety. It's stress. It's just not being careful." 

 

And when Diane showed Nicole pictures of her looking like an ano-skeleton a few months ago she said she was a very skinny girl going through something then. Diane asked if it was drug related. Nicole answered, "I think it possibly could have been."

 

You think!? I hate when bitches answer a question without truly answering. Just say YES bitch, because that's basically the answer. You are doing a tell-all interview so TELL-ALL!

 

In cased you missed all the hilarity and entertainment, Nicole's interview will air again tonight in full on 20/20. Everytime I hear, read or write 20/20 I think of Barbara Walters saying it in her accent. Think of it. 20/20!!! 

 

Source

 

 

 

The crabs Paris Hilton left behind will now have someone to talk to! Nicole Richie will serve her sentence at Lynwood. That's where Paris spent 23 lovely days.

 

Nicole had the option of choosing a private and "nicer" facility to serve her 4 days, but if she would have to serve the entire sentence. At Lynwood Nicole will get time for "good behavior" and all that other crap. She could end up being released within a few hours due to overcrowding.

 

Nicole may also serve in the medical ward, because she's knocked up and special like that. 

 

Paris will hand off the keys to Nicole and then maybe...just maybe...Nicole will hand those keys off to Blohan!

 

Source: TMZ

 

 

 

Nicole Richie's interview aired on "Good Morning America" this morning and did anyone catch it? That shit is too early for me, so I'll wait till they air it tomorrow night on 20/20. My TiVo doesn't even get up that early.

 

The interview was already uploaded and you can watch it here.

 

Richie basically just talks about being a changed person and how getting arrested was her wake-up call and blah...blah...blah...

 

When Diane asked her if she did drugs. Nicole said, "I don't take anything now." I should hope not! You're knocked up!

 

She said she smoked weeds the night she was busted and Vicodin for her period cramps.  

 

Here's Richie and Douche Madden yesterday. Doesn't she realize she looks like a fool trying to cover up her mug like that. She's always doing that! He's just sitting there laughing at her ass!

 

 

Images: Splash

 

 

It's a dude for Richie and a chick for Xtina according to InTouch Weekly . The mag claims that both girls had ultrasounds on the same day, July 25th, at the same hospital, Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. Weird. I wonder if they shared ultrasound jelly. They probably didn't even use a machine on Nicole! She's so small that they probably just put a magnifying glass up to her belly!

 

Both are expecting this December.

 

Xtina is back in Los Angeles after her doctor ordered her on bed rest after contracting the flu. She cancelled the rest of her tour and came home. Xtina has yet to confirm she's popping one out.

 

A source claims Nicole wanted a girl, but she's "happy" she's having a boy. This source said, “She’s having fun planning for the baby — shopping, picking out names and designing a nursery."

 

Ooo...these brats can date. Naw, Richie's boy will be too small to date Xtina's lady.

 

Richie boy's can date Thumbelina.

 

 

Images: Splash

 

 

 

 

Blitz! Blitz! Blitz! Ok! Magazine sat down with mommy-to-be (that sounds so weird) Nicole Richie to talk about going into the slammer. Unlike Paris Hilton, Nicole is accepting the blame and the responsibility. She has better PR bitches.

 

She said, "I think this was a blessing in disguise. This year has been full of lessons learned and soul-searching and realizing I'm an adult. It's time to take responsibility and not take the easy way out."

 

Well...um...err...doesn't she sort of have another life in her hands right now? So, eat up!

 

Nicole is also standing by her story that she was taking Vicodin for period cramps. She says she doesn't know what Midol is. Ahaha....good one.

 

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