Nicole Richie

 

What color is this girl's natural hair? Aren't you supposed to stop dying your hair when you're knocked up. That's probably old-school shit. 

 

Anyway, this is actually the best I've seen Nicole Richie look since she's gotten knocked up. Here's Nicole leaving dinner with her manager, Benny Medina. What she needs a manager for is beyond me. Someone to manage her shopping trips and call the paps for her?

 

 

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It's grooooowwwwwing!

 

Nicole Richie continues to grow, because she's pregnant. DUH! Nicole made a little stop at Petco yesterday to pick up a pet goldfish. That's not a pet! She's using it as a fit model. She needs something small enough to model her upcoming baby's wardrobe. Nicole is very visual and likes to plan ahead.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cindy Adams claims that mother-to-be Nicole Richie was caught lighting up twice in NYC. A witness saw a pregnant Nicole smoking outside of DaSilvano. Three days later she was spotted smoking outside of Nobu after dinner. 

 

Damn. The baby isn't even born yet and it's already on the Richie diet of Marlboros and Diet Coke. That baby's gonna come out healthy.

 

Here's Nicole in Hollywood attending her baby shower thrown by the ever-lovely Samantha Ronson. Sam is such a grouchy lesbian! Sad lesbians make the angels cry. 

 

 

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UsWeekly claims that Nicole Richie teases douchebag, Joel Madden, about his former relationship with Hilary Duff. Apparently, Joel ended shit with Hilary, because she wouldn't give up the panty.

 

A source said, "She will ask if he's going to watch Lizzie McGuire DVDs or listen to Hilary's albums. Joel tells her she's being out of line."

 

That's the best Nicole can do? She needs to go back to shit-talking school. I'd tell his ass to go wack off to pictures of Mr. Ed...I mean Hilary. I'd check his dick for teef marks from Hilary's horsey mouth. 

 

Getting knocked up has ruined her game.

 

 

 

Nicole Richie's daddy, Lionel, is going to buy his daughter and her unborn baby a house in a gated community. Lionel wants Nicole and the baby to be safe, so he's looking for something gated in Century City.

 

Nicole is currently staying with Joel in Glendale, but she doesn't want a Valley baby.

 

A source said, "She recently leased out her West Hollywood condo, and, while she likes living at Joel's bachelor pad in Glendale, she doesn't want to raise her baby in the Valley. 

 

What a dumb twat! I was raised in the Valley and look how I turned out......scratch that. Get that baby out of the Valley Nicole!  

 

Here's Nicole protecting her baby with a pillow at an airport in Australia yesterday. Bitch needs new glasses bad. Everytime I see her wearing those hideous spectacles I can't help but think of that famous monkey picture! They are twins! Throw a beat ass wig on him and voila! I mean he's already got the "grouch face" down.  

 

 

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Nicole Richie has joined Joel Madden in Australia while his band is on tour. Do people still pay to see that douche show?

 

eNewsBuzz caught Nicole, belly bump and all, hanging out by the pool.

Look at her! Not that raggedy in the body anymore. Is that an ass I see? No, not Joel! The one on Nicole.

 

 

 

 

Exciting isn't it? Nicole Richie eating a Kit-Kat is a thrill. You know people keep saying that Nicole looks so much "happy and healthier" ever since she's been knocked up. I know I'm Grouchy McGrouch, but I just don't see the "glow." Homegirl still looks a little rough around the edges. She's probably happy because she finally has a reason to eat Kit-Kats and shit.

 

Hmmm...Kit-Kat. Dip 'em in peanut butter and it's even better.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nicole Richie and Joel Madden will become legally married on October 13th in Laguna Beach, CA reports TMZ. Nicole is currently knocked up with the couple's douche/troll spawn. The ceremony is said to be small and intimate which probably means 500 people instead of thousands. 

 

Booooring. Somebody send Hilary Duff an invitation, but mask it as a pony convention. Bitch will gallop on in and ruin everything. Hollyweird has been such a bore lately and we need some GD action!!!

 

 

 

 

 

That unborn baby is saying a prayer!

 

Nicole Richie left Joans on 3rd in some high high high wedges yesterday after lunch with one of her gays, Carlos. I'm sure she can handle it...hopefully.

 

Her shoes remind me of silver leaving. Have you guys ever tried doing that crap? Since I'm gay I like to do gay things and I tried silver leafing a damn trunk. I still have silver leaf in my damn butt crack from that mess. That shit is not easy. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Remember Pillow People?! Those things were some of my best friends growing up. Ok..ok...they were my only friends. Happy now?! Seriously, my pillow person was fucking beat as beat. It had stains all over it's ass yet I still slept and cuddled with it. No, not baby jizz stains! Get your mind out of the trash hole! 

 

Seeing these pictures of Nicole Richie carrying around a small throw pillow at LAX yesterday reminded me of my old pals. Rest in peace Pillow People!   

 

 

Images: Splash