Fake Asses

Even fake ass hair can't stand Kate Moss. A hair extensions freed itself from her skull as she arrived at her hotel in Berlin last night. Some pap picked up the horse hair like he won a prize. Wait, maybe he did win a prize! I bet if he shakes that thing over a mirror, he'd get a couple of coke lines out of it. Score!

Kate Moss was in Berlin to promote her new perfume "Velvet Hour." It probably smells like burnt weave, cokey breath, Dreamboat Dohery's love chunks and crumpets. Basically, it smells delicious.

Donald Trump manages to have bangs without having bangs. How is this possible? Get Ken Paves on the case!

It's pretty frightening to see Don's dark-sided comb over actually moving. This isn't good news for Rosie O'Donnell. She better lock her doors and go to bed with a can of Aqua Net by her side. The comb over is coming for her!

Don's comb over looks like a pre-k craft project. It's some paper mache shit. When a glob of his hair falls out, he makes Melania dip it in glue and slap it on his head. He really should get hair advice from Trump Dog.

Here's Donald and his weepy comb over in Scotland yesterday.

Ceiling eyes Audrina and LC from "The Hills" got into a backyard fight over some stupid ass photo shoot. TMZ reports that LC came home to find Audrina in the middle of a shoot with some magazine. LC flipped out because she promised exclusive pictures of their backyard to another magazine. Exclusive pictures of a dumb backyard? These fake celebrities are so weird. Both of these dumb whores need to have a cupcake and sit down.

Audrina apparently got approval from LC's manager. She has one of those?

Can you imagine seeing these two boring ass fools trying to fight without a script? LC probably kept yelling "LINE! LINE!" and didn't know what to say when nobody responded.

I've worked in a cubicle before, but never a cubicle city like the one above. That shit will make even the sanest bitch go nuts. These two videos of extreme workplace rage have been making the rounds on the internets. This dude is awesome. You know his co-worker just asked him, "Um....are those your papers that were left on the copy machine?"

The dude throws his monitor at some poor chick! He makes Michael Douglas from "Falling Down" look like a pussy.

That being said, this shit is probably fake. I mean, where's the annoying office manager screaming at him, "I'm going to write you up for this!!"

Above is footage from a security camera and below is footage from someone's celly.

VIA Gizmodo

Thanks Joe

George Clooney's mannequin call girl is on her own now that he's cancelled his lease with her. Sarah Larson put on a brave face to attend the opening of Palms Place Hotel in Vegas last night. Scratch that. Her brave face is her only face. That shit don't move. It takes a skilled wax artisan a couple of hours to give the ho a different expression.

Yes, Sarah was a guest at last night's party. The ho better not get too comfortable because she'll be back to serving Jello shots in a bikini next week.

Verne Troyer and Constantine Mouralis were also at the party. Sarah better have turned up the charm to snag one of these eligible bachelors. Although, I don't know if she can handle Connie's magnet stare. That shit could melt her wax ass.

These two people are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie impersonators. Yes, they actually make a living out of pretending to be Brangelina even though they look nothing, I mean nothing, like them. They look like your two co-workers dressing as Brangelina for the office Halloween party. What a fuck effort! The Angelina impersonator ain't got shit on Tiffany Claus. They aren't fooling anybody. Well, they could probably fool Shiloh, because she doesn't see her parents that often.

The broke ass Brangie attended the 17th Annual Reel Awards last night in Las Vegas. It's like the Oscars for impersonators.

Feast your eyes on more fake asses below. Some of them have their shit together (Chevy Chase) and others just need to quit the game already.

That dude behind Tony Romo in the picture above is amazing. Waaasted. Too bad he didn't yack all over Romo's back. So..... Papa Joe's fake love machine is still hard at work. Jessica Simpson and Romo were spotted having dinner at N9NE in Dallas reports the Dallas Morning News:

Saturday night, Tony and Jessica shared a corner booth for two at N9NE Steakhouse in downtown Dallas’ Victory Park. The couple said hello to Cowboys receiver/kick returner Isaiah Stanback who was dining at N9NE with his parents.

On the way out, Tony and Jessica stopped to say hello to another diner and play with her baby girl (foreshadowing?). For the record, Jessica had a steak and Tony had a burger.

She probably stuck the whole steak in her fat mouth too. You know this bitch eats with her mouth wide open with the meat flying everywhere.

In other news, I can't believe I'm posting this inane shit. Papa Joe has gotten to me! His pr magic is working on me. Must resist. MUST.

Tony Romo escorted Jessica Simpson to her sister's douche fiesta on Saturday night. Get this shit. Asshole and Pete's wedding reception had an Alice in Wonderland theme. Well, Jessica does make the perfect Tweedledum. Sources told People that Romo and Jessica were very "cozy" during the reception.

A source said, "They were very cozy and cute together. They were kissing and holding hands throughout the night. He was very sweet to her. They were very much a couple."

DUH! Of course they are going to be touching and fake kissing. Papa Joe wants to get his money's worth. You know Papa Joe sat and watched them the whole time to make sure Romo was not breaking their contract. Papa would have watched anyway though. He was looking forward to watching them all week. He cut a hole in his trouser pocket and everything. Easy access.

The truth is that show is a fake piece of trash.......and I watch every week. WELL! I really like Audrina. When her ceiling eyes finally drop, I want to be there to see it.

The girls of The Hills are on the new cover of Rolling Stone. Heidi and LC were not photographed separately. They were put on either side of Audrina and Whitney. Heidi totally looks like she's pushing out a wet one.

Heidi and LC still hate each other though. At least until the writers tell them otherwise. Heidi told UsWeekly, "I really pray for her." LC rolled her eyes when she heard what Heidi said about her. LC's friend, Lo, added, "I wasn't aware that Heidi was an especially religious gal. But if she wants to pray, she can pray all she wants."

And I'm sure you're rolling your eyes at me for posting this mess. Well, it was either this or a video of Chrissy Crocker dancing around naked! (Click here if you want to see that. It's NSFL!)

Thanks Jay

Brooke Hogan almost ate this puppy while shooting scenes for her reality show yesterday. Luckily, the puppy bit her in the nuts and got away. Brooke is filming scenes on the campus of Florida Atlantic University for her show. The thing is, FAU was not her first choice or her second. It was her fourth.

19-year-old Brooke chose University of South Florida, Florida State University and the University of Central Florida as her first, second and third choices, but they denied her ass! The schools didn't want to deal with all the cameras and production team. They felt it would get in the way of the other students' education. So would having to stare at Brooke's adam's apple all day.

FAU still hasn't fully agreed to let her shoot on campus and Brooke hasn't been accepted yet. FAU told People, "The university would not agree to an arrangement that would be disruptive to the academic setting." So far, Brooke has only been allowed to shoot her tour of the school.

If that doesn't work out, I'm sure DeVry Technical Institute would allow her to shoot on their campus. They are serious about success!