Penelope Cruz

Penny Cruz Is A Video Ho

In case you missed it, here's a video featuring Penelope Cruz and her sister, Monica Cruz, being all slutty and lesbian-like. The video is for their brother, Eduardo Cruz's shitty song. In the video, Penny and Monica are dubbing a porn movie into Spanish. They also sort of kiss, but it's nothing hot. I get the feeling that these Cruz siblings really want to have a threesome with each other.

Posted by: Michael K

57 comments •

Penelope Cruz • YouTubes

Penny Is Hot, But That Woman Next To Her Is Hotter

Penny Cruz wore what looks like a recycled 80s prom dress to Queen Sophia Spanish Institute's Gold Medal Gala last night in NYC. FANCY! I actually like the dress. I'm gay and gays like bows. They do. The bigger the bow the better.

I also adore Penny, but I have a friend who thinks she's the ugliest thing. He said she looks like a "stingy bird." What the hell is that? Aren't all birds stingy? I mean I've seen one mommy bird straight-up take a worm from her baby's mouth. Selfish.

I would immediately go lesbo for Penny.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

58 comments •

Penelope Cruz

Monica Is Way Hotter

Penny Cruz and her sister Monica Cruz launched their new collection for MANGO yesterday in Ibiza. MANGO? Isn't that shit like Forever 21? Anyway, back on topic! Monica is way hotter than the two. She's trashier and looks like she knows her way around a peen. Definitely my kind of girl. Penny is too natural and looks like she knows her way around Salma's poon. I bet she's the real baby daddy.

Posted by: Michael K

54 comments •

Penelope Cruz

A Motley Crew

Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Madonna, Penelope Cruz, Janet Jackson and Shakira all partied together at Butter in NYC last night. Oh to be a fly on the wall.

Madonna probably talked about Africa and herself, Penelope and Shakira probably made out, Janet Jackson probably didn't talk, Ashton probably spent his time gabbing on his celly to Rumer Willis and Demi Moore sat there looking hot.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

75 comments •

Madonna • Penelope Cruz

Charlize Theron is Still On Top

Charlize Theron is one of the only chicks that I'd actually go down on. I'd probably have to shoot myself up with heroin and almost OD to do this, but I'd still do it. Homegirl is perfect. Now, she wasn't looking her best at yesterday's Dior Cruise Show, but she's still one of the hottest pieces out there.

Charlize joined Dita Von Teese, Anna Wintour, Penny Cruz and Butt Pirate Galliano.

Did Anna Wintour die and come back from the dead without any of us knowing? She looks worse than Skeletor! It's honestly a skeleton with a wig on it!

Posted by: Michael K

140 comments •

Charlize Theron • Hotness • Penelope Cruz

Drunk & Hot

First of all, Lenny Kravitz and his daughter are so damn beautiful. I just want to shrink them and place them in my panty drawer forever and ever. They'd probably die from the fumes, but still.

They attended Penny Cruz's birthday party this past weekend. She's a drunk mess! She's probably cursing in Spanish. The paps should've caught her off guard and told her that Salma Hayke's sucking new twat. She probably would've lost it.

Posted by: Michael K

99 comments •

Hotness • Penelope Cruz

Penny's Secret Love

Penny Cruz is trying to keep her latest "relationship" a secret. Sources say that Penny is currently dating Josh Hartnett. She was recently linked to Orlando Bloom. Last week at El Coyote in Hollywood, the couple left immediately when they found out all the private rooms were taken.

They decided to go to The Little Door restaurant instead where a waiter said they were very touchy-feely and kissed goodbye.

Please. First of all, if you're a lesbian you don't date dudes. Second of all, if you want to keep things private you don't go to a restaurant in Hollywood.

Source

Posted by: Michael K

58 comments •

Josh Harnett • Penelope Cruz

The Old and the New

Tom Cruise's new beard, Katie Holmes and his old beard, Penny Cruz, made like friends at the Armani Prive show in Los Angeles last night. Penny is probably so happy that it's Katie and not her that's married to the nutcase.

Penny's dress is fugly fug. It looks like something a first lady would wear. Katie is...um....awkward. I don't know how I feel about the flat ironed hair.

Posted by: admin

76 comments •

Penelope Cruz • TomKat

Who's the Hotter Cruz Sister?

Penny Cruz and her sister Monica attended the premiere of "The Inquiry" during the "Los Angeles Italia" on Tuesday night. Penny's in Los Angeles getting ready for the Oscars this Sunday. I actually think Monica is kind of hotter. She needs to change the foundation though. That pancake crap isn't working.

Posted by: admin

10 comments •

Penelope Cruz

So Original

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were front row and center at the 6th Annual GM fashion show in L.A. yesterday. I know, a GM fashion show? WTF. Anyway, they spent their time flipping off the photographers and taking pictures of themselves. It also looks like Demi Moore showed Penny Cruz what Ashton is working with.