Nicole Richie

"Heeeeeelooooooo, is it me you're loooking for?"

Harlow Winter Kate is like 4-months old and she already has 2 magazine shoots under her belt. She should try out for "America's Next Top Model" next season. Can she smile with her eyes? Well, it wasn't really Harlow's choice to pose for these shoots. She's not into this shit. She's looking for the exit. Unfortunately sad clown baby, you're stuck!

Nicole Richie whored out her baby Harlow for Harper's Bazaar. Don't judge Nicole! What else does she have to do? She probably doesn't cook, clean, work or change diapers. She has to fill her schedule with something she can entertain her brain with.

Harlow better have been paid a shit load for this mess, because it interrupted her 20-hour nap.

Visit HB to see more pictures of sad clown baby with two dbags

It was nice while it lasted. Nicole Richie's bodacious pregnant chichis are completely gone now. We barely knew each other. She's back to looking like a surf board. I just want to grab her ass, head to the beach and catch a wave.

And is this ho moonlighting as a night nurse in the maternity ward? What the fuckity fuck is she wearing? It's probably from Katherine Heigl's medical uniform collection.

Paris Hilton is planning a spectacular double wedding with Nicole Richie. Showbiz Spy reports that the two want to marry their boyfriends, The Madden Douches, in a double wedding to make millions from all the publicity.

Are these cunts 8-years-old? This is the kind of shit you joke around with your friends at a slumber party while waiting for the bras and panties to freeze. "We'll get married in a double wedding, with an ice cream wedding cake! You'll wear pink and I'll wear white. "

A source said, “Paris is doing it all for attention, as usual. It’s a publicity stunt, just like everything else."

Wonky has also been walking around town with a ring on her engagement finger. It's probably Benji's cock ring. She really does love him!

Here's more pics of Wonky being a skank slut yesterday.

The Richies all came out together to the ASCAP Pop Awards last night. Nicole's mommy, Brenda Richie, told UsWeekly that her granddaughter is already talking. Harlow Kate Winter Madden is only three months old, but Brenda claims she already said her first word. Was this before or after Brenda's 4th martini?

Brenda said, "The other day I was holding her, and Harlow said, 'Hi!' I said, 'Nicole, did you hear that? Nicole said, 'I don't think she knew what she was saying! Nicole talks to Harlow constantly, and she tries to answer back!" Sad Clown Baby wasn't trying to say HI. She was trying to say, "HO, your bref stinks like happy hour." She couldn't get the words out, but she'll get there.

Here's more pics of Lionel, Nicole and his other daughter Sophie last night. Scary Spice, Fuggie and Elliot Yamin were also there. I also couldn't forget to add the extreme sexiness of Verdeen White.

These pictures were tagged "Nicole Richie and Harlow Winter" by the photo agency and I seriously thought that baby in the blue was Sad Clown Baby. I was thinking, "Damn, Nicole's Sad Clown Baby weighs more than she does and she's suddenly white!" Give me a break, it's Saturday and I've only eaten a corn dog. Eff off. Anyway, if you peer through that little whole and squint your eyes, you can sort of see....shit...you can't see a damn thing.

Nicole Richie joined Tobey Maguire's woman and their baby for a playdate yesterday. When I say "playdate" I mean the grown-ups watched R-rated movies and get drunk while the nanies watch the kids spit up on each other.

Nicole was wearing those Arthur the Aardvark sunglasses that every celebrity natch is trying to work. When will they realize that those things only belong on talking cartoon animals. I guess Nicole sort of counts.

Rumer Willis is turning into Pete Wentz. She's only missing the nerd glasses and emo stories. Wait, maybe that IS Pete Wentz. He did say he's been wearing heels and women's clothes lately. That's either Pete Wentz or Liza Minnelli during her bloated drug days. Anyway, here's our favorite fug at the screening of "Trembled Blossoms" at the Prada store in Beverly Hills last night.

The event was also attended by Nicole Richie. It's funny, for someone that "misses her daughter so much" bitch is out a lot. Nicole claims she leaves sad clown baby with her mother. How much do you want to make a bet that Harlow will be calling her grandmother "mama" when she gets older.

Below are also pictures of Michelle Trachtenberg with cum lips and either Cojo or Chastity Bono. I'm not quite sure.

Nicole Richie recently said that she doesn't like having big chichis, because they aren't really her. How can you not like having those things? I would never leave the house if I had those things. I would be too busy singing them lullabies and telling them how much I love them. I would send them Valentine's cards and we would frolic through the fields together. It would be a wonderful life.

Bitch should get knocked up more often. It won't last. She'll be back to looking like a rat fetus in no time. The weave isn't looking as fresh though. She should yank that shit out while she's hanging on to it. Rip that motherfucker out.

Here's Nicole at the opening of DCMA. The tool that got her knocked up owns the joint.

Nicole Richie is not embracing her new big chichis. Nicole bitched and moaned to OK! Magazine that she doesn't like having big boobs, because she thinks it's slutty. She said, "I am bustier now and I really don't like it. It doesn't really fit with my wardrobe, it's not who I am. I am not someone who is used to wearing a bra or having to wear a bra. I really don't like it."

"I like wearing vintage hippy see-through shirts that aren't slutty on me because there is nothing to look at. Now I have boobs so I can't really wear it because it sends out a different message."

Nicole, it will go away. Embrace them and love them while you can. Big chichis only do good things in this world. She needs to stop crying about it. Besides having big chichis does not mean you're a slut. Look at Nicole's BFF Paris Hilton. That skeezer is flat like a board and she still looks like she enjoys giving blumpkins to strangers. In case you don't know, a blumpkin is when you blow a dude while he's taking a hot dump. I know, such lovely evening conversation.

Speaking of hot dumps. Here's Paris Hilton and her new soulmate Benji Madden out in Los Angeles the other day. These two tools are even wearing each other's initials on matching necklaces. A hot dump indeed!

Nicole Richie's People magazine cover has outsold Xtina's People cover. MSNBC's The Scoop reports that Nicole and sad clown baby's cover is on track to sell around 1.8 million copies. Xtina and Max didn't even come close to that. A source said that Xtina never does well on covers.

They went on to say that people are intrigued by Nicole. “There’s also a greater element of curiosity with Nicole. She’s gone public about being a heroin addict. Her boyfriend is covered in tattoos. By default, she’s got the more interesting baby. People want to see how she settles down. They want to see what kind of baby someone with her background has.”

Interesting baby? Is that a nice way of saying she's got an uglier baby. People do like seeing ugly babies. It makes them feel better about themselves. Those two babies look the same to me. Switch them and I wouldn't even notice.

JLo is going to trump them all! JLo allegedly got paid around 6 million clams for her People Magazine cover. She better step it up if she wants to sell in this market. I'm proposing an all-nude family portrait. Well, everyone except Skeletor. I don't think my retinas could handle seeing Skeletor's bone.

The real loser in all of this is People Magazine for paying all that dough for these 3 skanks!

UsWeekly reports that Nicole Richie is considering moving her entire family to NYC to perform on the Great White Way. Nicole is in talks to play the role of Roxie Hart in "Chicago." This isn't Nicole's first try at Broadway. She auditioned for a role in "Rent" a few years ago, but got turned down.

A source said, "It would give her a reason to really show her talent and to stay in the new place in NY Joel just got. It also shows people are really excited about Nicole right now." Who are these people that are excited about Nicole right now? Show them to me, because I'd like to kick them in the knees.

Nicole Richie would join a long list of no-talent skeezas who have already performed in the show. Asshole Simpson, Kelly Osbourne, Lisa Rinna, Melanie Griffith, Robin Givens and Rita Wilson have all performed in it at one time or another. I hear Melanie was particularly painful.

Let's see...give the role to someone who has actually worked their whole life for this or give it to someone who is famous for being the best friend of the world's most famous hooker? That's a tough one. The sad part is, I'd probably pay to see her. Well, I like seeing people fail. It's the best temporary cure for low self-esteem!