Mischa Barton

Mischa Barton is STILL talking about those pictures of her thighs looking like a yeast infection. She's screaming reverse photoshop! Yup, they used the oatmeal tool on her.

Mischa's pr bitch told Rush & Molloy, "Those photos are doctored. I'm not saying she's perfect, nobody is. But they've given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old. Look at the shots that were taken shortly before on a beach in L.A. Did she develop all that cellulite in a couple of weeks? There's a lot you can do with Photoshopping."

She thinks that the pap who took the pics, Jamie Fawcett, is trying to make her look bad, because she bitched him out for taking pictures of her bare saggy titties. Jamie responded, "I wouldn't seek to publicly embarrass her with nudity or health issues or body image issues. It is a shame that publications tend to highlight an issue that is not fair to a young girl. ... However, sometimes these are the things that sell pictures."

Please, Mischa loves this shit. She hasn't had this much publicity since....well ever! I'm sure the offers are just rolling in after those pictures hit. I wouldn't be surprised if her thighs are named the new mascot of Quaker Oats. Poor Quaker Oats Man will be out of a job.

Mischa Barton is pissed that someone took pictures of her cottage cheese thighs and droopy boobs. Mischa feels violated and said she should be able to melt her cheese in peace! She said the photographer, Jamie Fawcett, fucked up her vacation.

Mischa said, "He's a ridiculous human being. I've never abhorred anyone more. I was so angry, I went up to him and said how disappointed I was with his behaviour. He apologized but he was very insincere." Mischa should have been the one apologizing! I will never look at a bowl of cottage cheese the same way again! You don't go up to a pap and say, "I'm disappointed." You attack them and steal their camera. Did she not learn anything from Sean Penn?

Jamie Fawcett responded by saying, "She broke my camera lens!" No, he said, "I'm not a perv, and I didn't intentionally mean to embarrass her. I don't just set out and start my day thinking I want to get any celebrity topless." Jamie claims he warned Mischa about going topless before taking pictures of her.

Life sucks when you're rich, famous and mushy!

Here's some pics of Mischa at the costume thingey last night. At least she covered up!

Mischa Barton will escape doing time in the lady clink by accepting a plea in her DUI case. People reports that she will plead no contest at her DUI arraignment this Thursday. In exchange, the weed possession charge has been dropped and the driving without a license charge has been reduced to an infraction.

Mischa will pay a fine of $1,700, complete a three-month alcohol-education class and serve 3 years of unsupervised probation.

Weed possession, drunk driving and driving without a license? If this happened to you or me, we would be cooking our breakfast on a jail radiator right now while massaging our raw assholes with cocoa butter.

A alcohol-education class sounds fun. Do they teach you how to make delicious cocktails like Singapore Slings and Rum Swizzles? I need some alcohol education. I'll even stay up for the class and take detailed notes during the "the fastest way to get wasted" lecture.

Mischa Barton was officially charged with being a dumb bitch, driving under the influence, driving without a license and possession of marijuana. All these charges are from her arrest on December 27th. Her court date has been set for Thursday.

Mischa was pulled over in West Hollywood in December after she didn't signal when making a turn and straddling traffic.

We know how this is going to play out. We've been through this before. The judge will make a big show of things and sentence her to like 10 million years. She'll cry about it and say she's ready to accept responsibility, but then she'll serve exactly 7 seconds in the clink. She will waltz in, get her picture taken and then waltz out. She will then fade away until her next arrest, rehab visit, pregnancy or shotgun wedding. She's so transparent.

I still love her retired trailer trash rock star mug shot. It looks the cover of a Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band album.

Source: TMZ

You know when you're really, really sick and throwing up everything you've eaten in your entire life. You basically have emptied your entire body, but your stomach wants to purge more? Then it does purge and it ends being this weird yellow, milky shit? That's what Mischa Barton looks like. She is every shade of fug yellow. That girl needs to get in her Datsun or whatever the hell she drives, pick up Lindsay Lohan, head to the salon (not Paves) and immediately demand for their vomit yellow hair color to be removed. QUICK! It's not doing anything for these girls, but reminding me why I don't like to throw up.

I will give Mischa props for paying home to Anne of Green Gables by wearing that hat. She must know I have soft spot for Anne. Thank you Mischa, but remove the yellow.

Here's Mischa going to lunch in Los Angeles with a homo person this afternoon.

Wenn

So apparently Mischa won't be playing host at Cathouse in Las Vegas tonight.

According to the NY Post, "Mischa can't give interviews on the red carpet or deal with the press right now, so they told her she can't do the event."

TMZ reports that she blew a .12 on the breathalyzer and admitted to smoking pot earlier on the day of her DUI.

So if this were a DUI publicity stunt, it didn't work out so well. I guess she should have gotten knocked up instead! But then that would mean she still couldn't host Cathouse in Las Vegas either. Eh, oh well! Sucks to be her.

Image: Wenn