Naomi Campbell

I hope the police officer that Naomi Campbell spat on yesterday has protection from the A-Team, Cujo and Kevin Costner, because the bitch is out! The Goddess of Rage was unleashed from her cell after being arrested for assaulting a police officer at Heathrow airport. Naomi was handcuffed and dragged away screaming.

Naomi was bailed out and is due in court next month. If charges are filed and she's convicted, Naomi could face up to six months in the chokey. Putting Naomi in prison for that long would be a mistake! She would spend her time bulking up and planning her revenge on society. She would come out stronger than ever!

What she really needs is a good week with Dr. Drew, Supernanny and the dog whisperer. If the power of those 3 can't help her, nothing can.

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It's nice to hear that anger management classes really changed Naomi Campbell. She's such a sweet and calm person now. Naomi was arrested at Heathrow today after she allegedly delivered a beat down to a police officer in the first class lounge at Terminal 5 over lost luggage.

Naomi was taken away screaming from a British Airways flight to Los Angeles, because she couldn't find one of her 3 carry-on bags. BA staff told her they would find her bag and forward it on, but Naomi wasn't having it. That's when she was asked to get off the flight. Gulp. That flight attendant must be one with God, because it takes a brave soul to tell Naomi what to do.

The Sun reports that the police were called and she was heard screaming "get off of me" That's when she allegedly attacked one of them. She immediately was taken away to Heathrow police station where I'm sure she gave the officers there quite a laugh.

The flight was held up for more than an hour, because of Naomi's little tizzy.

Once a crazy bitch, always a crazy bitch! Why doesn't shit like this every happen whenever I'm on a flight? I would ask for my salted peanuts early, so I could sit back and enjoy the show.

Naomi Campbell has been hospitalized in Sao Paulo, Brazil for some mysterious infectious disease. The hospital's office told AP that she's being treated by one of the country's top specialists. She had a small cyst removed and flew all the way from London just to have it done. Cyst is Naomi-talk for fat. Lipo!

The hospital said, "The patient and her advisers have determined that the hospital's medical staff will not issue any formal or informal information on her medical condition."

All this mystery! Hmm...I wonder what this mysterious infectious disease could be? Syphilis? Severe Diarrhea? Hep? WAIT! Was she drinking heptinis at Ashton Kutcher's Birthday party? I'm sure it's nothing. Just hand the crazy bitch a bedazzled Blackberry to throw at some scared and innocent nurse. She'll feel ten times better. You can't keep a crazy bitch down.

Thanks Blake

Several South American newspapers are reporting that Naomi Campbell is dating President Hugo Chavez. Naomi interviewed him for GQ Magazine and now the two are in love and shit. Hugo reportedly fell "head over heels" in love with Naomi after they met reports once source. I think they got it wrong. She hit him over the head with her heel and then he fell. Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Sources claim they have been dating for two months.

Oh hell no! This is just the first step in Naomi's plan to take over the world. She thinks she's Evita! WEAVEvita! This is kind of hot actually. Naomi as the first lady of Venezuela has a nice ring to it.

Naomi's people have denied the claims, "The interview was a serious portrait for a respected and heavyweight magazine not a lightweight celebrity encounter. The conversation was substantial and the issues discussed were primarily about Mr. Chavez's vision for Venezuela. To suggest that it was anything other than a professional situation is disingenuous and belittles all parties concerned." Yeah right. She's totally doing him.

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Thanks J

Naomi Campbell interviewed Venezuelan President, Hugo Chavez, for GQ Magazine. The article will be published on Thursday. Naomi called him the "rebel angel" and said he had a beautiful singing voice. She is so weird. When Naomi asked him if he would ever pose shirtless he said, "Why not? Touch my muscles!" Nasty. She probably did and then she sucked his one muscle and threw her Blackberry at it and accused it of stealing her favorite jeans. I know that bitch's number.

Here's bits and pieces. It sounds like a conversation between two girlfriends while shopping for two-pieces:

Chavez on Bush:

"We're seeing the fall of the empire. ... Like the fairy tale, the emperor is naked."

Chavez on the most stylish leader:

"Fidel, of course! His uniform is impeccable. His boots are polished, his beard is elegant."

Chavez on Prince Charles:

"I like the Prince. Now he has Camilla, his new girl. She's not as attractive, is she?"

Naomi hopes "Venezuela's relations with America will improve in the immediate future." She also hopes to interview Fidel Castro next.

Who does this bitch think she is? Babwa Wawa? I can't wait until one of these world leaders says something fresh to her and she beats them down with her cell phone. It's bound to happen.

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Thanks elo

This is Naomi Campbell's new Dunkin' Donuts and it's soooooort of funny. It was directed by Zach Braff of Scrubs fame and features Naomi flipping out while doing a little gardening. I'm sure in order to get the "emotion" out of Naomi someone told her that she was fat or they probably told her to imagine that one of her maids stole her jeans again. That still makes me laugh. Beating a hot for jeans?!