Since Michael K is not around to hold my hand (I tried to get him to hold my ass but there's that whole "ew, GIRL" issue) and jacko is off doing God knows what (GOD knows jacko!! Jussayin!), I had to try to find something on the interwebs myself. I hit every site I could think of and came up with NADA. So this is a post about nothing. Cause that's what I got, NOTHING.
You know, nothing is highly underrated. Nothing needs to get a little love now and then, just like the rest of us sluts. No one has caressed nothing's nalgas since the 90s when Jerry Seinfeld ruled the airways, and that is a sad, sad thing. People are always ripping on nothing, saying hateful shit like "nothing is more pathetic than Paris Hilton." WRONG and INSENSITIVE.
So nothing, let's drown our sorrows together in booze and bong hits. You guys can consider this OP2, or ignore it, or whatever makes your man in the boat float. Nothing is sacred. Nothing really matters. It's NOTHING to me!
If any of you sluts have a juicy tidbit to share, I'm all ears. Otherwise I'm gonna sit here doing NOTHING (rrrrrOOOOoowwwr!), and nothing is (not) going to stop me.
The jar of dirty douchewater known as Pete Wentz tells Playboy (via P6) that he once played a game of Russian Roulette with a friend.
He said: "I pulled a trigger on a gun aimed at myself. My friend and I did one pull each. We'd been drinking and had taken Ambien. I feel stupid even talking about it. It's one of the reasons I've never owned a gun - I'm too impulsive. I'd probably get mad and shoot someone over a part in a song or something."
I know what your first thought was after reading Pete's quote and I agree with you 100%. But you totally know they didn't play with a real gun. This stupid twat is trying to sound all bad ass and shit. It was probably a fucking NERF gun. They weren't drinking booze, they were drinking Gatorade mixed with Kool-Aid. And they didn't take Ambien, they took Pepto-Bismol chewable tablets. Yeah, Pete Wentz really lives on the edge.
The streets of Clifton, NJ are a little less safe today after cops arrested two vigilante ninjas who were trying to rid the area of drugs dealers. Cops found Tadieusz Tertkiewicz, 20, and Jesse Trojaniak, 19, sitting in their car, dressed like ninjas. The Detective Captain said they were "wearing tactical vests and armed with knives in sheaths at their waists along with Ninja throwing knives, Chinese throwing stars, four-pointed tacks, swords, bows and arrows." I'm sure all their weapons were plastic and can be found at your local Toys 'R Us.
The sad pair told cops they are known on the streets as The Shinobi Warriors. They were on their way to deliver menacing letters to drug dealers. One of the letters said that the “Shinobi will stop your cruel and sadistic intentions with justified yet, merciful force" and accused dealers and junkies of committing "sins of passing impurity." It's not known how many letters were left on the doors of drug dealers and users. The dudes said that if they were ever confronted by a dealer, they would use their awesome martial arts skills and weapons on them!
Oh and one of those threatening letters was delivered to Tadieusz's ex-girlfriend. A nerd with a broken heart is sad thing.
They were both charged with weapons possession. Tadieusz was also charged with harassment. He's still in jail on $20,000 bail. Jesse was released.
First of all, what do you expect from a dude who has a Vanilla Ice haircut. Second of all, this is exactly why video game nerds should never leave their parents' basement. There's a reason why they spend the rest of their lives playing video games, eating Hot Pockets and getting yelled at by their mom for leaving chunky skid mark stains on their chonies. When they enter the wild, shit like this happens!
The teaser trailer for the new Star Trek movie leaked. It's playing before Cloverfield. It's just a teaser, so nothing to burst your nerd wad over. I screwed a few Trekkies over the years, so I consider myself an official one. If you have had at least 5 Trekkie dicks in you that means you are official. It's in the rulebook. Check!
The movie comes out this Christmas and stars that dude from Heroes as Spock.
That's not the wood I wanted to see Owen Wilson! Get a clue.
Owen is in Hawaii with Woody Harrelson and his wife. Owen's trunks were way too loose. His body's nothing to cream to, but I'm more interested in seeing the real butterscotch stallion. Where's the tent?
The man alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”
The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Quaeda in February of this year.
“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.
Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.
Hey, I believe him. Award him the $63 Billion! Click here to see the rest of these documents. It's art, HIGH ART. It seriously belongs in a fine museum.