Halle Berry

 

Halle Berry attended the Palm Springs Film Festival last night without that hot bitch Gabriel Aubry. I haven't seen them together in ages. Maybe his work as hot sperm donor is over. Anyway, Halle is like 7 or 8 months pregnant I think. She's still look gorgeous. Boring, but gorgeous.

 

I wish she would've shown off the knocked up chi-chis. They are out of control and so lovely to gaze upon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Halle Berry is reportedly devastated that her hot ass sperm donor, Gabriel Aubry, is planning to live in NYC full-time. Halle wants to raise her kid in Los Angeles, but Gabriel doesn't give a fuck! He told Halle he needs to stay in NYC for his modeling career. Doesn't this bitch know his new career is being Mr. Halle Berry?

 

 

Eff him Halle! You got the hot genes, now move on. Halle always picks the losers.

 

Hell, I'll be Mr. Halle Berry. Best job ever! Sit around, watch Oprah, say hi to the kid, tell Halle you're leaving her, watch her cry, console her, go shopping with her credit card.

 

 

 

 

Those bitches have never looked better and I'm talking about her chi-chis. Halle Berry looks fantastic as well, but the best thing about a knocked up woman is the breastes. I just want to get a Jackie Collins novel, put on a Tracy Chapman soundtrack and nuzzle all up in there. Yes, the gays love breasts! Well, this gay does anyway. She's not quite as epic as Salma Hayek, but she's holding her own. What happened to Salma anyway? 

 

Anyway, here's Halle at the London premiere of "Things We Lost In The Fire" this evening.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Halle Berry was on Jay Leno last night (taped last Friday) and she brought out pictures of herself that were distorted with Mac's Photo Booth program. She showed a picture of herself with a big nose and said:

 

Page Six reports that nobody laughed and Jay responded with, "I'm glad you said that and not me." They cut her Jewish comment when the show aired.

 

Halle told Page Six that when she was backstage looking at the pictures with some of the girls who work for her (3 are Jewish) one said that it looked like her Jewish cousin. She said, "I so didn't mean to offend anybody - and after the show I realized it could be seen as offensive, so I asked Jay to take it out, and he did."

 

Fire her! Take away her unborn baby! Take away her man! Take away her house, cars and everything else she's worked for! She is a despicable and offensive human being and should be punished! It's a joke.

 

That picture probably wasn't even distorted. It was what Halle looked like before she had a nose job.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've been waiting for some Gabriel Aubry. Unfortunately, he looks the same. Gabriel next time you go to an event, you can lose the clothes. You have my permission to walk around nekkid.

 

Gabriel came out last night to support Halle Berry at the premiere of "Things We Lost In The Fire" in Los Angeles. He looks just thrilled to be there. Who cares?! Bitch is getting paid to do a job. I really hope Halle told him that he better show a little enthusiasm next time or his shit is being replaced. Get your money's worth, Halle. 

 

Below is Halle with Gabe and David Duchovny.  

 

 

 

 

 

A knocked up Halle Berry has been promoting the hell out of that "Things We Lost In the Fire" movie and Gabriel Aubry has been missing in action! Where the hell can the hottest sperm donor in the world be hiding? I wouldn't be surprised if he's already ditched Halle. She's a douche magnet. No...no....Gabriel's "working."

 

Anyway, Halle told People that she's loving every minute of being pregnant. Even the morning sickness! She said, "There is nothing bad about it. The morning sickness and the vomiting and the hot sweats. Nothing's been bad about it. I've loved every second of it!" And what is she craving? "Hot and spicy peppercini!"

 

Hot sweats? Vomiting? Peppercinis?! That sounds like a normal date for me.

 

Morning sickness is probably fine when you're at home, but I worked with this pregnant chick and bitch would vomit all the time and anywhere. I would be enjoying my delicious egg and cheese and she would be ralphing into her bin. Runny eggs have never looked the same to me.  

 

Here's hot Halle with those delicious chi-chis outside Letterman yesterday. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh shit! Halle Berry as Aretha Franklin? Aretha as a fetus maybe! Anyway, Aretha is currently working on the television movie of her life and said she's interested in Halle playing her. Aretha also said Jennifer Hudson (PLEASE NO) and Fantasia might be into it. Billy Dee Williams and Terrence "Baby Wipes Only" Howard are most likely going to be in it. Shooting will begin as early as this Spring.

 

Halle Berry?!

 

Why Queen Aretha is getting a TV movie and not a feature film is beyond me. I need to see that woman on the big screen, so I can take it in all that BBWness. 

 

Aretha also said she's losing some weight. She said, "A lot of weight. I won't say the number, but I found the magic numbers on the treadmill. Slowly but surely. It's all happy. "

 

HALLE BERRY?! Boo Berry yes, but HALLE BERRY?!

 

 

 

 

 

TMZ reports that Halle Berry is knocked up with Gabriel Aubry's baby. Halle was due to film "Tulia" in October, but shooting to be postponed. Sources claim she's 3-months along.

 

Halle was due to reunite with her "Monster's Ball" co-star Billy Bob Thornton.

This would be 41-year-old Halle's first baby.

 

Both of these bitches are so hot, but two hots don't always make a hot. Sometimes two hots can cancel each other out and bring the fug out. I'm just saying!

 

There's also rumors that JLo is knocked up. All these damn babies! They are taking over the world!

 

 

 

 

Could Halle Berry currently be housing one of the most cutest celebrity babies on the planet? Possibly....if you believe The National Enquirer . They claim that she's two months pregnant with Gabriel Aubry's spawn. Halle is reportedly scared about any complications that her diabetes may cause.

 

A source said, "She's wanted a baby for so long. But at the same time she's scared because she is very aware of the complications that having diabetes can cause during pregnancy. She's doing everything possible to make sure her baby is born healthy."

 

Halle's work schedule is reportedly being shuffled around to make way for her Spring bundle of joy.

 

Yeah Spring works for me. Nicole and Xtina are bringing Winter babies...that leaves Spring right open! There's not many slots left, so it's good she's getting in now.

 

I'm also naive in thinking that her baby will be a hot piece of baby cuteness. Sometimes two hots don't make a right!